My boyfriend never wants to have sex

[Chantelle2019]

I have been with my partner for a 1.5years now and he never wants to have sex with me, everytime I try and initiate something sexual he says he isn't in the mood for it (everytime). He does suffer with depression which I do understand it does have an effect on your sex drive but it's been over 3months since we last had sex and that was only because he was drunk!, I know he watches porn too which doesn't help how I am feeling as I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough nor attractive enough I just feel like I'm getting rejected when I bring it up to him all I get is its not my fault I'm not in the mood for it... 😕

Life is too short. Move on.

Same here so I've told him to fuck off.

Brutal maybe but then so is being rejected and all of the negative feelings about yourself.

I've recently started seeing someone I worked with, we've been mad about one another for two years. The sex is phenomenal.

How old are you op?

Do not waste your life with this man. Your relationship will never make you feel good about yourself. You will regret it if you are still living like this in 10 years … 20 years … and it will not get better. If he doesn’t want a physical relationship now he will want it even less as the years go by.

25

How old is he?

25!!
Oh no no no, fuck that op.

He's 33, prior the 3months that we have had no sex for we would occasionally have sober sex but majority of the time it has mainly been drunk sex. Which doesn't make me feel any better

I have always had a very high sex drive but since being with my partner it's just disappeared!

So, you’re 25, you’ve been with him for a year and a half, and for much of that time he’s not been interested in having sex with you (but has been using porn)?

Why on Earth are you in this relationship? Genuine question. Why haven’t you scarpered yet? It’s fairly obvious that this isn’t a healthy or desirable situation. What is it you’re hoping we’ll tell you?

Leave him. And raise your standards.

Is he gay?

It sounds like you're not bringing out the best in each other. Sorry I'm not very keen on big drinkers, alcohol being a depressant it's probably not helping his mood. Is he on antidepressants? They made my dh almost unable to orgasm though we did still manage to have a sex life.

This sounds like a bloody miserable relationship to spend your 20s on tbh.

So he watches porn (and presumably wanks to that), and you have drunk sex, but not sober sex?

Babe, you're in the honeymoon period!! It won't get any better.

Dump him and move the hell on. And do the Freedom Programme so you can raise your expectations for the next time...

Don't waste your time on this one OP.

Life is too short to waste with this one.

Didn’t want to read and run…my relationship is the same. We’ve been together 4 years. We’re both in our 40’s with 3 kids between us.
Our relationship is nice (we argue and it’s ridiculous at times) but he’s funny, kind, lovely, bright, great with the kids, Supportive, tactile, loving. But we’re massively lacking sex. (Twice in 5 weeks) we go to bed at 9pm every night apart from weekends. When we go to bed at 9, he’s asleep by 915. At the weekend we usually have a few glasses of wine and both fall asleep as soon as we’re in bed.
He gets up super early (5am) and I’m a terrible morning person. I’m usually awake until about 11 on a weeknight watching tv whilst he’s snoring.

I can’t bring myself to leave as most of the time we’re fine but I know potentially we have another 30-40 years together.

My wed drive has taken a plunge over the past two years. But I still think we should do it. I enjoy it when we do but I never instigate it (that’s due to my confidence, I’ve always been the same) but he says that’s the reason we don’t sleep together.

I don’t know what you or I should do but I know it’s not right.

Don't waste any more time OP. Run.
This relationship won't be good for your mental health/confidence.

Oh yan I hope you find a way to initiate if it would really help (it might be an excuse). By text?

He does watch porn... We have had more drunk sex then sober sex in the whole 1.5year relationship. I feel stuck because I do love him but I'm getting to the point where I need more, I want someone to walk in a room and want to rip my clothes off

You’re not really engaging with what’s being said to you.

"I know he watches porn too"
What a surprise! Possibly so desensitised by it that he can barely get it up any more, hence "everytime I try and initiate something sexual he says he isn't in the mood for it (everytime)".

Why are you still flogging this dead horse of a relationship? Serious question, nit having a go at you. What need of yours is it meeting? Do you lack self-esteem, or do you have some idea that you can 'fix' him, or - what?

I was in a similar situation with my first long term boyfriend. Over the course of our 4 year relationship his sexual dysfunction gradually killed my sex drive and crushed my soul. I went from having a high sex drive to not even wanting to masturbate. I remember towards the end of the relationship sitting googling "am I asexual" quizzes.

I split up with him when I was 24 and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I'm 28 now and have been with a wonderful man for two years and we share a regular, exciting and fulfilling sex life that makes me feel wanted and sexy! My sex drive is back to how it was originally.

Don't waste anymore of your life with this guy, OP. If sex is important to you, this relationship will suck the life out of you. There are lovely men out there who would love and appreciate sex with you. Give yourself the chance to meet one of them and get back in touch with your sensuality - you will not regret it. I didn't realise how big an impact your sex life or lackrhersa

This was what it was like with my EXH. We had a lot of sex right at the beginning but it dwindled within the first year and I always hoped it would come back but it never did. Before our wedding day I questioned whether or not I should be marrying someone like this but I hoped it would change after the wedding (he always gave some reason or excuse). It wasn't the reason why I left but it was a big part of it.
Me and my ex didn't have any kids. Me and my current DP have 3 living with us full time (2 of his and one of our own) and 2e still manage to have sex more often in a month than I had with my ex husband in a year.
Don't waste your youth in this relationship, I wish I hadn't.

Whoops posted to soon. That should have said I didn't realise how much a healthy sex life or lack there of can have on your general well being. You deserve to feel sexy and desired and fulfilled!