DP is pissing me off. It's like talking to a brick wall. In fact, a brick wall would probably be far more responsive

[HappyChristmasWalrusIsOver]

Evereyting I ever suggest, like moving out of our shitty house/going on holiday/gettimng married etc etc, ie anything that would alter the status quo, gets met witrh a wall of silence.

It is pissing me off.

We live in a crap house, with no proper heatring to speak of, and with walls that could give way at anyt minute. I have just mentioned to the umpteenth time this year abiout possib;le moving house. He is so fucking apathetic it's untrue. I can't bear another year in this place, and he knows how ashgames I am of the house (no matter how much time I spend cleaning it, it looks fucking rank) We had no hot water for 7 weeks last winter and the landorl is a waste of space, but we ARE STILL HERE

He was them same when I went back to work. We had been struggling for money since we had DS1, but when I started thinking about going back, he got into a piss because it meant we'd have to fing a CM and he'd have to drop them off in the mornings. Even though it meant that we'd be about £600 a month better off.

I'm not even going to go down the gettinmg married route.

We have just had words about moving house - I saw a house we could move into and I asked him to come an have a look on rightmove and he said "I know what a houyse looks like FGS!"

It's pissing me off and making me resent him.

If I were able, I'd save up the money for a deposit myself, and move without him knowing and just tell him the address and say "If you can be bothered to do something different, this is where we are"

He's now sulking in the kitchen listeneing to TalkSport.

Sorry about typing - I'm shit at5 it!

If you lived in a fab house would you want it to be with him?

I can't believe your putting up with the state of the house when you're in rented accommodation - yuck!!!

Ditto what Nab says.

Yes, I would!

I* just wish he'd show a bit more interest. I feel like oi do all the work sometimes

Oh darling.

I hate to say it, but 'tis the season for Bickering. (Here in the Inferiority Complex we are deep in Seasonal Bickering.) Is there any way you can bear to hang on till after Christmas and then try a refuelled 'oh look my angel beloved it is the new year, how frightfully lovely it would be to move into a new house and go on holiday' through gritted teeth?

I do commiserate.

they are fairly big problems warlrus. Where do you see yourself in five years time?

You need to start making a better life for yourself and your child. If he wants to join in, great, if not you will have to make a choice.

CarGirl, Our landlord is soi unresponsive it;sa not true

We had to put up with it because we couldn;t afdford to move out (we pay £725pcm as it is - anything better in Bath would be way more!") but now I am working agfain, we can afford to move out, but he's reluctant, as usual

When is your lease up on the current house? That would give a deadline to find somewhere better.

Also I agree with motherinferior - Christmas is prime time for arguments!

In all other areas, he is a great dad to our boys, and he isfunny, and kind and intellegent, and I do love him., but he doesn;t like change.

I want to be with him, but I feel like hje can't be bothered to make life better for our chikldren.

We have a rolling contract, so we on;ly have to give a months notice.

I think you should try if you can to give yourself a break from it over Christmas...and then refuel your efforts, honestly.

Perhaps you need to tell him that in the new year that you are going to find a nicer place to live. Could he just be very chage resistent????

I honestly haven;t thought about moving for a few months. I was just thinking about it this afternoon when I droive past a house that's to let in the next road to ours. It looks lovely and is within our price range. But he's just not interested

I think my suggestion about saving up the deposit myself and just moving is the best onbe

Does he not like change (seriously) or is it a case of lazygititis?

I can understand your position you poor thing but I wonder whether it would be a good idea, in your shoes, to just get on with it. Go and see the house. Start saving for the deposit.

This is your life too and just because he won't help you doesn't mean you can't do it yourself. YES, it's annoying but don't let him hold you back.

Agree with the Fox, in slavish manner.

yes, perversely I think I am regurgitating something you said to me about a year ago .

I would just start looking for a new home myself and then once found i'd tell him you were all moving, if he'd like to join you, great but if not bye.

So how am I going to go about svaing money and mopving wiothout him knowing. If he finds out, he will put the kaibosh on it by being a misery

just do it without saying anything. It doesn't sound like he'll notice!

Thing is, I will be saving 'til next Christmas and I really want to be out of here by then.

I don;t want to doi it behind his bcak, I need him to do it with me, but he is unresponsive. He has just returned into the sitting room, and hasn't even mentioned it. He is just lolling around like a petulant child

You can call the council to check out the house and make the landlord do stuff. I had a slumlord in Bath (who owned a construction company too) who did nothing and in the end one of the other tenants called the council and they compelled him to fix stuff. My ceiling fell in once and initially he told me he would get someone to look at it the next week. Put him straight on that one I can tell you!

Children can't make decisions about where they live.........

Tell him either you move as a family before next christmas or your moving without him - see if that gets a response?

did you discuss having children or was it unplanned?

Has he ever been responsive about anything?