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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Ex text saying he misses me

33 replies

ston · 01/01/2022 18:08

Received a text at midday from my ex of 5 years that broke up with me in July saying

“I don’t know how you feel but I miss you”

He then proceeded to tell me that his heart broke when he broke my heart and that ‘he made his decision as he thought it was the right decision.’ He said it’s the hardest decision he’s ever made and said ‘who’s to say I got it right.’

I was stern with him and said well you broke up with me because you wanted to go travelling / work abroad for 2 years (we’re 25). I did say that I did obviously miss him and he broke my heart.

He said he’s sorry for everything he put me through and that he thinks of me a lot. Then he said he shouldn’t have text as he feels like I don’t want him to text me. I replied saying that he was the one that made his decision and clearly thought it was right at the time.

Now he hasn’t replied for two hours. I know he is out but I feel like he is really getting in my head. Why text me saying you miss me and then not bother replying after sending a few texts? Im not sure if he will even reply now.

Basically I feel like he’s seen me living my life and thought I’d text him on Xmas/New Years and he slipped up and text me. Now he is playing games by not replying and unfortunately it’s working to annoy me. I thought I’d left him back in 2021.

OP posts:

PatchworkElmer · 01/01/2022 18:14

Block him!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 01/01/2022 18:15

Block- distract yourself: go out, call a friend, go to the gym

Marineboy67 · 01/01/2022 18:17

Definitely block him, he's playing 'mind games'. You were managing just fine, don't let him turn your head.

Moretodo · 01/01/2022 18:20

Well he hasn't got time for you has he, so it can't be that important to him?

He's broken your heart once, don't give him another opportunity.

Was probably alone and bored.

NearlyAHoarder · 01/01/2022 18:20

After FIVE YEARS!!???

Wow.

What a messer. He's having a worse new year than he anticipated and wallowing

Original poster

ston · 01/01/2022 18:32

@NearlyAHoarder sorry not sure if I worded that strangely but we were together for 5 years and broke up in July!

OP posts:

Genevie82 · 01/01/2022 18:37

… either you’ve got feelings for him and still want to be with him deep down …or you don’t. If you do to give him the benefit of the doubt he’s reaching out with his feelings and this if your opportunity to sort things out with him. People do split up and get back together, however if he’s been a total twat to you in anyway obv delete and just feel smug!

Otherwise forget about the text, it was his loss and you’ve moved on😀

dopple · 01/01/2022 18:42

He's bored and lonely, ex's often do this
He didn't care about you when he decided to live a single life without you. He's hoping you're still single not moving on and take him back when he feels like it.
Don't allow it, he'll be off again by the summer.

Winniemarysarah · 01/01/2022 18:43

I suspect he’s drunk texting. Block and move on

bonetiredwithtwins · 01/01/2022 18:47

Do you want to get back together with him?

Peppapigforlife · 01/01/2022 19:01

Ugh. So sorry that he is putting you through this.

Needsomeadvice33 · 02/01/2022 15:31

You should have had him blocked.
This is really going to set you back now. He's a game player.

GrumpyLivesInMyHouseNow · 02/01/2022 15:49

He was probably bored and wanted an ego boost

2catsandhappy · 02/01/2022 17:49

How do you know he is out? Sounds like you are the back up plan B on the back burner. Sweet words to see if he has an 'in'. I would wonder if he spent Xmas and NY on his own and didn't like it one bit. Then I would block his number and carry on looking forward.

TooWicked · 02/01/2022 17:50

Awwww he had a lonely new year and wants a shag.

Block him.

SituationCritical · 02/01/2022 17:56

Urgh. Echoing others, he's bored and wants an ego boost/shag. Block him.

MadMadMadamMim · 02/01/2022 17:58

He's after an ego boost. Probably a bit hung over, feeling low/bored - it's a Sunday and there's nothing to do so he's looking for someone to make him feel good. He'll be smirking at the mind games.

Block him.

You should never reply to ex partners who play silly games like this. The only acceptable answer to him saying I miss you is a brisk Tough shit.

Gloriagayn · 02/01/2022 18:00

He probably hasn’t emptied his bollocks for a while. They all do this when life isn’t going according to plan. Just block him and start 2022 as you mean to go on.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/01/2022 18:04

Block. Block block block.

No good can come of this!

Christmas and New Year seems to bring out the exes doesn't it? Think it's a time of year people sometimes feel a bit lonely so they end up messaging familiar people from their past and end up fucking with their heads.

Again, block!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 02/01/2022 18:21

He just woke up with a hangover and no random supermodel type and her sister in his bed as he believed would be the case when he dumped you.

Block him.

Ladybyrd · 02/01/2022 18:31

So will he be travelling for the next 18 months or had he changed his plans? Because if they he is, the conversation is pointless.

People get lonely at Christmas. People do also get back together. Only you know how you feel, but if the situation remains unchanged, I don't see what there is to say.

I had an ex contact me months after breaking up and we did get back together. I never really forgave him for the first breakup though and it all unravelled within a few months. Not to say that will necessarily happen with you (he had behaved pretty appallingly the first time around and it gradually dawned on me that I deserved better than that). Just to say, sometimes they do come back, and mean it. And that did start with a text out of the blue to test the waters. They don't just blurt it all out in one go, but at the same time, you have to protect your feelings. You'll hear back again soon if he means it. For me, I was so happy that mine came back, but that gradually subsided into resentment.

Bunnyfuller · 02/01/2022 18:36

Op, you don’t need to ask us what you need to do. A bit of self-respect, block as you should have done when you split and look forward to a 2022 free of this user fuckwit.

EinsteinaGogo · 02/01/2022 18:42

It's not impossible for people to make mistakes and genuinely regret them, OP.

But the style of his message doesn't sound quite like someone ready to get on his knees and beg forgiveness.

If he really wanted to apologise and see if you were open to talking about it, would he not have said that?

Whambamthankyoumaam21 · 02/01/2022 18:45

My ex did this continuously. Ignore me for no reason for months at a time ( anything from a few months too a year) stupid cow here repeatedly took him back- every time. I know it’s difficult, it would break my heart when I heard from him. Do what I wasn’t brave enough too do- block and ignore. Your worth so much more

Nov910 · 03/01/2022 18:53

I’ve also been in a relationship for 5 yrs. mine sulked..I, like the above poster would take him back/sort out his issues and on it went.
I decided a few weeks ago to ignore his sulks..and here we are 2 months on not a word from him. Xmas passed, new year passed..some people are just people you shouldn’t waste your time over. It hurts I know.

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