Ex text saying he misses me

[ston]

Received a text at midday from my ex of 5 years that broke up with me in July saying

“I don’t know how you feel but I miss you”

He then proceeded to tell me that his heart broke when he broke my heart and that ‘he made his decision as he thought it was the right decision.’ He said it’s the hardest decision he’s ever made and said ‘who’s to say I got it right.’

I was stern with him and said well you broke up with me because you wanted to go travelling / work abroad for 2 years (we’re 25). I did say that I did obviously miss him and he broke my heart.

He said he’s sorry for everything he put me through and that he thinks of me a lot. Then he said he shouldn’t have text as he feels like I don’t want him to text me. I replied saying that he was the one that made his decision and clearly thought it was right at the time.

Now he hasn’t replied for two hours. I know he is out but I feel like he is really getting in my head. Why text me saying you miss me and then not bother replying after sending a few texts? Im not sure if he will even reply now.

Basically I feel like he’s seen me living my life and thought I’d text him on Xmas/New Years and he slipped up and text me. Now he is playing games by not replying and unfortunately it’s working to annoy me. I thought I’d left him back in 2021.

Who's to say he got it right??

You. You're the one who gets to say that. So tell him that, if you must tell him anything. Silence is your superpower here, but if you must say anything else to him, let it be 'Ending our relationship was the best decision you could have made for me.' And let that be an end to it.

Why would you consider letting him back into your life? Even at this early juncture, you don't trust his intentions. You're the one with the power here. He's the one wheedling.

He's probably fed up because his plans to travel clearly won't have worked out the way he wanted. He's looking for company to keep him going until he can pick up his plans again.
Don't let him back in your life.

Maybe COVID has scuppered his travel plans?

I agree with PP who said that his travel plans have been delayed due to Covid, so he thinks you'll be fine with helping him to pass the bloody time until he can, once again, decide to dump you to go 'travelling'.

Nothing at all wrong with wanting to travel, but nothing at all right with using people who care about you to fill an unexpected 'delay' without a single thought to what it might do to them emotionally

Block him so that you can relax again and move on from being used by a selfish person who is simply 'filling time' with you.

People do this all the time- text exes. Men do it, women do it. Mumsnet taliban will get excited and tell you to block him, but really, do what the hell you want, you’re 25! If you’re life is at least 20% romantic train wreck you’re doing it wrong!
That said, I wouldn’t have much hope for the long term and I imagine he has been playing the field, or at least intended to.

Now he hasn’t replied for two hours. I know he is out but I feel like he is really getting in my head.

Sounds to me like you already know he is a game-player.
He wants to be in your head. he is going to needle you until he gets his own way ... & if you go along with it, you will be on tenterhooks waiting for him to dump you again.

What happened between July & Now? - did he go travelling & is now back?
Or was he unable to travel as he wished, so feels he may as well have a go at picking you up before dropping you again?

Note that his text asking to see you again was ALL about him.
Not a word of remorse, no apology, no asking how you are.

You've spent 6 months healing from this man. I suggest you block him, for your own wellbeing, & focus on looking forward

FFS, block him already. He's just messing with your head to give his ego a boost.

This is what is known as dumpers regret. It happens between 3 to 6 months after the euphoria of dumping someone because you want to a) travel b) get into someone else's knickers c) see if there is anyone better out there. My prediction is all of the above have failed for him and he thought you would be a great back up plan until he can travel again. Men/women do this a lot. Dont think for one minute he means any of this. If he had phoned you, explained himself, asked to come round, explained himself again and asked you if you could start again and then give you time to think and reply I would say give him a chance. But no, he is in the woe is me category. Its an easy fix. You block and move on.