How would you feel….

[RoseisMadder]

…About your DP keeping a raunchy picture of their ex?

Yes @TheFoundation, he did and still does and I felt like we were stronger for it. Sorry for being cryptic, the previous problems have nothing to do with sex, relationships, abuse of any kind. But he did lie A LOT and I understand why he did and I can forgive it but I can’t forget. Stupid things like this just make me question the whole relationship

Stupid things like this just make me question the whole relationship

But this isn't stupid. And apologising for being cryptic is part of the same thing. All you're doing is expressing your feelings. It's not stupid to lack trust in someone who has lied to you. It's the natural, healthy response.

Lots of stuff you're saying (including your OP) suggest that you feel that your feelings on their own aren't enough to be worth upsetting the relationship for; as if the relationship is more important than your feelings.

Your feelings are at the top for you. They should be pretty near the top for him too, and much more important to him than keeping a near-naked picture of a stranger. You can't control him; you can't tell him to get rid of it. All you can do is tell him how you feel (about the picture, and about how you fear upsetting the applecart by expressing your feelings), and then base your future decisions on his response. If you end up feeling rubbish once you've raised the issues, then he's probably not the guy for you.

It's sounds like you're more attached to having a relationship with him than you are to actually being happy/fulfilled/respected. He's lied to you repeatedly in the past. Not trusting him and questioning the relationship isn't a fault in you; it's what self confident people do. Stop doubting/minimising this response in yourself. It's a natural boundary that you're allowing him to cross, and that's why you feel uncomfortable.