Partners ex making threats.

[Ambxr]

Hi guys,

So me and my partner have been together a year now. A month getting into the relationship we began getting hounded by his ex partner who he has 2 children with (that she won’t let him see) she began making fake profiles on social media and tormenting us everyday! It was every minute of the day this went on for I believe around 6 months. She made threats to have me raped, she made abusive threats which were verbal and physical. I fell pregnant within them 6 months and she found out I believe through word of mouth and she vowed to have the baby killed. Now I know this will all sound crazy but she is very much so into witchcraft and made threats to harm the baby through spells she gave us the month of it but we very much so don’t believe in it but we did lose that baby within that month she had given and I believe it was a day or 2 later she messaged to confirm she knows the baby is no longer there (I had a miscarriage) it was my first pregnancy. She continued to hound us and eventually stopped in September. We did go to the police in that period but they did absolutely nothing. But she has once again started messaging of several accounts abusing me, my partner, his family and just people we know. She again has vowed to make me lose the baby (again heard through word of mouth) but she has also said if the baby is born she will cut our child into pieces literally! This woman is insane, I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m just so scared. For 12 years of my life I believed I couldn’t conceive and I did this year and I miscarried now I’m pregnant again and I’m just so afraid of what she is capable of? My partner hasn’t had much to say except again to go to the police and I understand that and I know I must but I know they just will think it’s crazy. I feel so alone in all of this, I have absolutely no support and I’m 12/13 weeks pregnant and just so stressed and scared.

She's got an injunction against him?
Has he ever applied to court for contact or just contacted social services and expected them to act for him?

Are they his children?

@NeedsCharging

There are 2 different things going on and your BF needs to do more In order to deal with them.

He needs to start the proper process in to seeing his children. He has tried the friendly approach and that hasn't worked so court is the next option. His children deserve for him to put the effort in to seeing them.

Secondly he needs to be supportive of you and how this is affecting you. You deserve that support.

On a personal note I could not have a child with a man who didn't move heaven and earth to see his children but I appreciate that's my choice.

This!!!

Especially the last bit, I also could not be with / have children for a man who wouldn't move heaven and earth to see his children.

If anything happened to my DD, I'd be smashing down doors and exhausting every possible route to get to her. Nothing and nobody would get in the way of her not being with me.

He's not doing enough to support you and he's not doing enough to see his existing children.

OP, keep everything she has said. Every single thing. Print it out and take it to the police and tell them you're scared for yours and your babies life. Keep going back. Go to social services. Do what you need to do, but your partner needs to pull his weight here.

You don't have the full picture Op.

Why does she have an injunction against him? He must have done something really bad for an injunction to have been awarded. Not in her opinion, but in the opinion of the courts.

Or he is lying to you about the injunction and it doesn't really exist.

Either way, you don't have the full story.

She can't stop him seeing his children - unless a court has said so (and again that would be only if he'd done something terrible - they rarely stop children seeing a parent). So again, either he has done something dreadful, or he is lying to you about her stopping him.

Aside from all of the above, why is he not stepping in to stop this madness? Why is he saying YOU have to talk to the police? Why is he not concerned that your / his child is receiving death threats? Does he not see that as his job to deal with? Especially when it's HIS ex making the threats. Why doesn't he instinctively jump in to protect you? At best he is wet, weak and doesn't care much.

I think you are being lied to. Your partner certainly doesn't have your back. And that is why he gets angry when you express concern about all of this... because he is trying to cover up a story and he doesn't want you to get close to it.

Think about it - he has family members who are in close contact with her. Why would they do that if she was so awful and he was the victim in their relationship? Could it be that those family members saw the relationship play out and think he's treated her and their children badly?

If she has an injunction against him (which I thought was only valid for 12 months but I could be wrong) then her contacting him would be a serious breach of that injunction and she really really really shouldn't be contacting him if she has taken out an injunction stopping him from contacting her. She could get into trouble for that.

In your own words you're stressed, you're scared and you feel shitty. Why continue the relationship? It is making you feel all these negative feelings, you don't have to live like this. You can choose to be happy, peaceful and calm. End the relationship and focus on your future. Prepare yourself that he could be an abusive man. Contact Women's Aid if you feel you need help to leave. You don't need to be in a relationship or situation that makes you feel like this. You don't know him and there are a lot of red flags about him that you shouldn't ignore.

When you say 'the police did nothing' what did they actually do or advise the first time. Was this a call handler or was it an officer in person. Were statements taken and the ex-partner interviewed at all?

There are offences there which need investigating - harassment, stalking, malicious communications etc etc

If you are going to the police can I suggest that you ask them about Clare's Law to see if it flags your BF. There's so many red flags in what you have said so far and the fact his ex has an injunction against him is concerning. This is all really dysfunctional and if it was me I'd be getting out of there now before baby is born.