Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Handyman woes

51 replies

shopgirl101 · 29/12/2021 15:37

Is it rude to watch what the handyman or any other workman is doing in your house? Whenever we call an electrician, plumber, gas engineer, flooring guy etc., my husband stands next to them and watches what they are doing, especially if it's a new person who we don't know. Is this rude? Recently, one guy just walked out of the house without saying a word after 30mins of servicing/inspecting our boiler. He was trying to remove a biggish part from the boiler but couldn't. My husband was standing in the same room watching what he was doing the whole time. This guy just put the boiler cover back on and walked out of the house. We thought he was going to get a part from his van but saw that he'd driven off. He didn't even answer calls after and just messaged saying he won't be coming back. We are baffled.

OP posts:
Momijin · 29/12/2021 15:38

I usually chat to them, yes.

Original poster
shopgirl101 · 29/12/2021 15:41

We didn't chat much except initially when I moved stuff aside for him to work. But when he was working and looked at my husband as if asking a Question, my husband just said he was curious and so was looking.

OP posts:
Amandasummers · 29/12/2021 15:42

It’s really odd that your husband does that. the boiler guy has probably done what many many workers have wanted to do previously 😬

Original poster
shopgirl101 · 29/12/2021 15:44

I must say that we are not originally from the country. Is it rude to just watch, should my husband have made more conversation or asked if it was ok to watch?

OP posts:
Starcaller · 29/12/2021 15:45

Does he say anything or just stand there silently watching? It is a bit weird. If he's said 'Do you mind if I watch so I can learn?' and talked about it that's one thing, but if he's just hanging around silently like the ghost at the feast, then it would feel pretty awkward. I don't think many people work their best with someone standing breathing down their neck!

pinkyredrose · 29/12/2021 15:45

We are baffled Grin Yes of course you are, you must have no idea at all why the guy left!

Cherrysoup · 29/12/2021 15:46

It would make me extremely uncomfortable to be watched while doing my job. I generally let workmen get on with the job, it is socially odd to stand and watch in silence, IMO.

Original poster
shopgirl101 · 29/12/2021 15:53

Yeah, I would not like someone watch me work either. This reminds me of another time something similar happened. That time the workman asked my husband outright if he'd be watched all the time.
I wonder how I can broach this with my husband. He will not like it.

OP posts:
Juletide · 29/12/2021 15:57

What does your husband do for a living OP?

SnarkyBag · 29/12/2021 15:58

Yes it is rude and distracting I don’t blame the guy for walking out!

Original poster
shopgirl101 · 29/12/2021 15:59

He works in IT

OP posts:
mrsmacmc · 29/12/2021 16:01

I say hi, check we're both on the same page for their visit, offer a tea / water / juice and leave them to it with a if you need me just shout. Nothing worse than standing over someone!

Funnylittlefloozie · 29/12/2021 16:02

Does your husband have a job? Would he like it if someone stood and silently watched him work? I don't think he would.

Next time, he needs to say to the workman, "do you mind if I watch what you're doing - I'm really interested " I do realise the workman is in your house, but its just good manners to ask. I've occasionally asked workmen what they're doing, and I've never met one who has not wanted to explain in great detail Grin.

Original poster
shopgirl101 · 29/12/2021 16:02

This has been useful. Thanks all for opining.

OP posts:
Juletide · 29/12/2021 16:03

Watching someone doing their job, especially if it's fixing an appliance, makes them feel that you don't trust them. It's a bit unnerving. I never stay in the same room.

PurpleThursdays · 29/12/2021 16:04

Your husband is rude. How offputting would it be for someone to stand and watch you do your job? I'm not surprised the boiler man buggered off.

Longdistance · 29/12/2021 16:06

It’s horrible having someone breathing down your neck whilst you’re working. He should have lingered in and out if the room. Just weird behaviour.

penguinwithasuitcase · 29/12/2021 16:10

I'm a fairly small blonde woman who lives alone, so after having a LOT of workmen see me and take the piss / steal things / do half a job and think I won't notice, I don't 'just leave them to it'.

But I don't stand over them, either – I'll just make sure to be coming in and out (usually on the pretence of housework) and ask questions every now and again so they know I'm paying attention.

rumred · 29/12/2021 16:26

I'm a handy woman and I hate being watched. It's totally off putting and makes me anxious, which affects my work. I was a senior manager previously and standing over someone was never a style of management I'd have used. It basically says I don't trust you. Which isn't conducive to good work.

SunflowerTed · 29/12/2021 16:31

It’s very off putting being scrutinized while you’re trying to do your job!!!

Original poster
shopgirl101 · 29/12/2021 16:35

Thanks all. I've told my husband now that it's his fault too as well as the guy's for not saying anything. Before I could say that the guy also could have politely said that he'd rather do his work alone, I had the door slammed at me by my husband. I should have known better and been around making conversation.

OP posts:
Magnited · 29/12/2021 16:39

@shopgirl101

We didn't chat much except initially when I moved stuff aside for him to work. But when he was working and looked at my husband as if asking a Question, my husband just said he was curious and so was looking.
Is he ogling their arse cracks that overhang their trousers? Perhaps the boiler is not the only thing in the closet?
Original poster
shopgirl101 · 29/12/2021 16:41

Good attempt at making a joke @magnited

OP posts:
Sunsetsupernova · 29/12/2021 16:44

God no. We have a very chatty plumber and an equally chatty handyman. I have no interest in them detailing every step of the job or telling me exactly what is broken and how I could have fixed it. I generally offer a cup of tea and then tell them to shout if they need me.

SkankingMopoke · 29/12/2021 16:48

I have a trade and would have walked under these circumstances too. I often get cats, dogs, or small children sit and supervise in the case of the cats watch, which is fine because they're just curious and don't realise it is offputting and rude. I'd expect an adult to know better, and there is enough work about not to need to put up with that level of PITA customers thankfully!