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Original poster

Handyman woes

51 replies

shopgirl101 · 29/12/2021 15:37

Is it rude to watch what the handyman or any other workman is doing in your house? Whenever we call an electrician, plumber, gas engineer, flooring guy etc., my husband stands next to them and watches what they are doing, especially if it's a new person who we don't know. Is this rude? Recently, one guy just walked out of the house without saying a word after 30mins of servicing/inspecting our boiler. He was trying to remove a biggish part from the boiler but couldn't. My husband was standing in the same room watching what he was doing the whole time. This guy just put the boiler cover back on and walked out of the house. We thought he was going to get a part from his van but saw that he'd driven off. He didn't even answer calls after and just messaged saying he won't be coming back. We are baffled.

OP posts:
Justleaveitblankthen · 29/12/2021 17:14

God yes I'm cringeing reading this! There is an etiquette here for sure. I exchange a few words, perhaps ask them if they would like a drink? Ask them to let me know if they need me for anything..and exit the room! It's bad enough to be engaged in chitchat minutae when you are trying to concentrate..but to have someone staring in silence?! Jeez! Confused

Drivingbuttercup · 29/12/2021 17:20

My husband is a builder and ive asked him this question. He says some customer stand around and some just hand him a key to the house. He says it never bothers him but sometime he finds it annoying when he's trying to get on with it and the customer keeps on talking.

Drivingbuttercup · 29/12/2021 17:23

Just to add though, i asked if he would stand around if a tradesman came into our home and he says he'd check in on them as he'd want to know what was being done, some tradesman charge an arm and leg for something tiny, if you dont check in on them how would you know what is being done. Smile

Wherearemymarbles · 29/12/2021 19:27

I will often chat for a bit and watch so I can learn if its how to do it next time. Saved me a fortune over the years.

oviraptor21 · 29/12/2021 20:12

That's an overreaction on his part OP. Is he always like this?

Queenoftrivialpersuit · 29/12/2021 20:15

Your husband stands and stares and doesn’t even chat.
Yeah that’s weird as fuck. Do neither of you not know that’s weird as fuck.

AlandAnna · 29/12/2021 20:21

God I would hate this! I don’t like people staring over my shoulder when I work on something. It’s really off-putting. Glad you are going to tell your DH

RedCandyApple · 29/12/2021 20:30

Tbh I had a man round to fix my boiler and I specifically told him what room it was in and even left the door of that room open and all the other ones shut and when he left I went upstairs he had opened all the room doors which I found odd, my mum said I should Have been watching!

MeSanniesareBrannies · 29/12/2021 20:38

@shopgirl101

Thanks all. I've told my husband now that it's his fault too as well as the guy's for not saying anything. Before I could say that the guy also could have politely said that he'd rather do his work alone, I had the door slammed at me by my husband. I should have known better and been around making conversation.
Your husband sounds extremely unpleasant.
Colourmeclear · 29/12/2021 21:12

It's rude and they hate it. I'm always curious and would love to watch but it's just not the done thing.

FictionalCharacter · 29/12/2021 21:52

Your husband's response to you was awful. I suppose he still thinks he did nothing wrong, and will do it next time.

Being watched in silence would be very off-putting, and the tradesman would think that either he doesn't trust him or is just weird. Especially if he was standing too close. There are discreet ways of keeping an eye on them - you can pop in and out, do the occasional bit of chat and ask a few questions (but not talk incessantly!)

GentlemanJayFab · 29/12/2021 22:13

I used to stand, talk and watch out of curiosity. Now I make them a cuppa and leave them to it.

Sparklfairy · 29/12/2021 22:21

Oof thats really controlling. If he knows enough about the trade he should do it himself, if he doesn't he should butt out and leave it to the experts.

When I was a cleaner I had two clients, both men who were like this. One followed me around and would check for dust after id done a room, trying to catch me out, tops of doors, skirting etc. He never found any.

The other was more sinister and had cameras in the house which i had no idea about, then call me when I was at home eating dinner for a "rundown" of what I'd got done in his filthy house to see if in his opinion it was enough Hmm

Awful people they were. Controlling know it alls who hated putting their hand in their pocket for a service but were too bone idle to clean themselves. I'm not surprised your man walked out!

SmolCat · 29/12/2021 22:46

Are you okn@shopgirl101? Your husband doesn’t sound particularly nice to you.

MarceyMc · 29/12/2021 23:14

DP is a skilled tradesman and frequently encounters this kind of behaviour from white collar professionals with absolutely no experience of the trade they want supplying. They also seem to think they are qualified to tell him how he should do the job, how long is should take him to complete the job, what he should charge, etc. Hmm

Momijin · 29/12/2021 23:38

I feel bad for chatting to tradespeople now. But I am just being friendly and they tell me about what they have found is wrong. They seem to enjoy the conversation and we do live in a small community. I wouldn't keep chatting if I felt they were annoyed. I don't question what they do not try to learn how to do it myself.

SkankingMopoke · 29/12/2021 23:43

@RedCandyApple

Tbh I had a man round to fix my boiler and I specifically told him what room it was in and even left the door of that room open and all the other ones shut and when he left I went upstairs he had opened all the room doors which I found odd, my mum said I should Have been watching!
He was checking the radiators were working. Nothing weird about it at all.
MeSanniesareBrannies · 29/12/2021 23:44

@Momijin Do you have a job? Do you enjoy people chatting to you while you try to concentrate on it?

SkankingMopoke · 29/12/2021 23:45

@RedCandyApple

Tbh I had a man round to fix my boiler and I specifically told him what room it was in and even left the door of that room open and all the other ones shut and when he left I went upstairs he had opened all the room doors which I found odd, my mum said I should Have been watching!
He was checking the radiators were working. There's nothing weird about it.
Sparklfairy · 29/12/2021 23:51

@Momijin there is a HUGE difference between chatting and just watching in virtual silence! Don't be obtuse.

Momijin · 29/12/2021 23:51

[quote MeSanniesareBrannies]@Momijin Do you have a job? Do you enjoy people chatting to you while you try to concentrate on it?[/quote]
Yes I do and I do chat to people and explain how to do stuff.

I haven't had a lot of tradespeople in tbh and I don't stand there the whole time. I am naturally very chatty but I will leave them more to it after reading this thread.

RedCandyApple · 30/12/2021 00:01

He was checking the radiators were working. There's nothing weird about it.

Didn’t check any of the ones downstairs though Hmm

Cas112 · 30/12/2021 09:43

It's weird and very rude!!!! I would also walk out of a job if someone was watching/judging me whilst I work.

Ridiculous

jetadore · 30/12/2021 13:25

No, standing over watching them is not normal. It suggests either you don’t trust them (eg not to steal/not do the work) or think they don’t know what they’re doing (not that your hubby does, or is qualified to judge). If I suspected either of these things I wouldn’t hire that tradesman in the first place! I don’t let any tradesman into my house without first vetting them so that I have confidence that they are both competent and trustworthy. As a result I am happy to just leave them to it, whilst someone remains in the house in case they have any questions and checking in on them now and again (once or twice and hour or so).

Suzanne999 · 30/12/2021 13:31

It is difficult when things like this are done differently to the country you’re used to. I had to relearn a lot during two years in ME. And none of the little things are in a handbook are they?
Put it down to experience, next time offer tea or coffee, or a cold drink if it’s hot and leave the person to their job.