Second stage labour - large baby

[mailpal]

How long were you pushing for in second stage labour?

My son was large 10lbs and I had a home birth with 2 midwives present. It was my first labour.

First stage was reasonably quick, my second stage of active pushing was around 4 hours.

I've since come to realise how long that is!! Too long..?

I've become a bit worried and anxious about my son who is showing development delay with his social skills and speech/ language.. He's showing signs of sensory processing disorder.

Any other women on here have large babies delivered naturally? If so how was your experience? Traumatic? Utterly exhausting? Long recovery? How is your child?

Thanks x

I pushed for over 2 hours in hospital with dd. I never got as far as pushing with DS my first but had a very long labour followed by an emcs (not a rushed one he was just too big to exit). DS is very bright and academically capable but does speech delay and development delay for social and emotional. Who knows what caused it. I’m fairly sure the speech delay is genetic because dd should have started talking by now and hasn’t. I was on the monitor constantly in labour with her and it never beeped once.
My recovery from my first labour physically only took weeks but the tiredness and emotional side took months

@mayblossominapril thanks for sharing - so you have support with his speech delay? Social/emotional delay? Sorry to hear you had a tough emcs birth

We’ve had some salt in put but not enough. He’s just started school in a really good school and he went to the excellent preschool attached to the school. The preschool staff worked really hard with him and he will get more help in a small group this term at school. School are amazingly understanding
He’s got a few issues with food as well. But we’re hoping things will continue to improve as he gets older.

Yes social and emotional delay. Academically he’s a little bit ahead for his age. Socially not too far behind. Emotionally a bit like a two year old. He’s also behind in dressing, was late potty training etc

Not a large baby, but she was in the birth canal for around 3 hours. I gave birth over Christmas and there was a huge delay getting a Doctor in from home. By the time she was a few months old, I realised that something wasn't quite right.......... easily over stimulated, poor sleep and feeding. She was eventually diagnosed with ADHD and had to eventually come out of mainstream schooling. I firmly believe that her birth was poorly managed, and got nowhere when pressing for answers.

When I had my next, I asked to go to another hospital and ended up having C sections (one emergency, one planned) which was a massive relief tbh.

First baby 2nd stage was around 3 something hours and they had to get out the vacuum. Definitely speech delays but the kid is very physical. Can climb anything, good runner and has great problem solving skills. Early indication of dyslexia but that definitely is dna. In my mind, speech delay is an ‘easy’ fix compared to other possible issues.

2nd labour the stage was about 5 minutes. Speech is fine, reasoning is there, will have to wait a few years for dyslexia.

My son was 10.6lb the first stage of labour was extremely rapid but the second was 4/5 hours. It didn't feel that long at the time!

It may be worth asking to see your delivery notes. Baby would always be receiving plenty of oxygen via the cord and I'm assuming the midwives were still listening to baby's heart rate at least every 15 minutes (although ideally every 5 mins in the second stage) to pick up any decelerations which can be a sign of fetal distress.

@squishymarshmellow wow that's a long second stage - how has your baby developed? Was all ok?xx

4 hours????? I’m stunned they let you push for that long - I thought for a first baby, 3 hours was the maximum. Sounds like it should’ve been a forceps/ventouse delivery. Did you know he was big before opting for a HB? Any talk of transfer at the time?

@mayblossominapril amazing to hear the pre school and school have been great and provided support, I'm really hoping my boy will be supported. I'll make sure of it! He does go to a current nursery but I'm not too impressed with them so far, there's a prep school not far, I might have to stump up some cash to ensure the environment is right for him and supportive/encouraging x

@BoodleBug51 sorry to hear.. so interesting you mention you noticed after a few months - ours DS was a terrible sleeper nearly sent me mental, actually sure I was at the time to be honest, we had such a tough time with feeding/sleep/colic/reflux etc.,

Did you have a debrief with your midwife? I'm going to book one in to discuss my questions, which will be hard as I still feel really emotional about it all..

Why did you have to remove from mainstream schooling? Lack of support? Or quite severe adhd.. also at what age was this diagnosed??

Thx x

@flower1677 they were listening to heart rate monitor but I was at home so I think there's only so much that they can do to help get baby out..

[quote mailpal]@squishymarshmellow wow that's a long second stage - how has your baby developed? Was all ok?xx[/quote]
I've never really been over it but I got to the hospital at 1am and was 9cm and he was born at 6 am so it was lengthy!

He is absolutely fine! He also had a true knot in the cord, might have been because of his size (I've never really looked into it - looked scary!)

He took awhile to walk and talk properly. Walking he was about 18m and talking properly was a struggle until his was 3

That said, he is now a few years into primary school and ever since reception or even pre-school he's always been classed as on track for his age in all areas.

@Lifeisnteasy I had planned a homebirth all along and literally found out a week before my due date (god knows why) that I was measuring large for dates and should have an elected c section.. to be honest I had pretty major leg surgery 9 years ago after a ski accident and have major fears around hospital/surgery and was doing lots of research on large babies and home births and it being OK, e.g. not to have a c section just because baby is measuring large..

I did underestimate and feel deep sense of guilt that to be honest is eating me up if there is anything diagnosed as being 'wrong' or delayed due to the birth..

@squishymarshmellow great to hear 🙏

I’m not sure you would be able to establish any clear link OP, so try to let go of the guilt if you can, what’s done is done. 4 hours does sound awfully long though - did the midwives say anything at the time? I think getting a copy of the medical notes might help with closure, but I think it’s unlikely you’ll get any firm answers as these things are hard to pinpoint.

Don’t feel guilty, OP.

My son has pretty nippy ASD, special school since year 4. Severe selective mutism, gross and fine motor problems, nystagmus, slow processing speed, poor memory and other learning difficulties, eczema and allergies to various things such as latex.

2 hour labour with a 20 minute second stage.

@Lifeisnteasy it was just such a shock at the time them telling me I needed a c section, I was already full of anxiety.. the consultation midwife wasn't nice about it either.. she put the fear of god in me.. it's been really tough for me and my husband.. we've seen friends have babies and how easy their journey has been..

We don't want another unfortunately..

I feel very angry at the whole thing as my aftercare was really bad too, me and my son both got infections which went unnoticed as we weren't checked - so many things about it I don't understand why..

The debrief will be emotional for me

@Hen2018 sorry to hear this.. :/ thanks for sharing xx

Try to be gentle with yourself. It might be worth starting a new thread about your experience as there’s usually lots of solidarity for birth trauma on here - the title of your thread doesn’t really give this away so you won’t be attracting those posters if you see what I mean. It might help to write your feelings down & talk with women who have been through something similar?

@Lifeisnteasy thanks i will do.. xx

It's unlikely the birth would have caused issues if he was born in good condition and hadn't had any abnormal heart readings during the second stage or at any time. They should have been doing readings frequently in the second stage so there would be indicators. 4 hours is too long though so I would be asking if stress (such as high levels of cortisol) on the baby would cause these symptoms he is having.

Also the type of infection and whether that could have caused the issue, like group strep b

@inheritancetrack he did come out not breathing for a brief moment (he was pink, not purple) midwife took him after the cord had been cut swiftly to resuscitate him in the living room, god knows what happened when she went out of my sight with him, but he let out a high pitched horrific scream and didn't stop for what seemed like a year (colic)

So much so my own sister and mum were on their way up and were panicking 'what an earth is wrong with him?' The cry was one you would be concerned about..

I just can't seem to forget and have flashbacks - my poor husband too.. we try not talk about it as is all too intense and painful/emotional