Earlier today my DH (of 20 years) made the most disgusting, misogynistic 'joke' whilst on the phone with (adult) DSS. I won't repeat it but I'm not at all easily offended and it really, really offended me so that tells you how bad the 'joke' actually was. He had no excuse when I told him how it had made me feel, just got all defensive and 'it was only a joke' about it, I've said I don't want to discuss it anymore now I've told him how it made me feel and asked him to just leave me alone, which he has.
But I don't know wtf I'm meant to do now, I feel like he's not who I thought he was if he finds misogyny amusing and I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to look at him the same way again. It seems ridiculous to throw away a long marriage over one joke but it feels like I've had a glimpse of the real him and everything else has been a lie and now I'm living with a stranger who hates women instead of my husband. I just feel utterly disgusted with him and don't know how I'm ever going to get past this.