I don’t know what I’m looking for on this thread maybe some encouragement or hope or something. I’ve read heartbreak threads before and they’ve helped me so I thought I would make my own. I’m lying in bed on Boxing Day which should be such a happy time spent with family feeling like my heart is breaking.
Long story short, been with the guy 6 months. I know, you’re probably thinking what is 6 months but believe me the magic and time we spent in those months meant more to me than any long term relationship. This guy put me on a pedestal, was always in complete awe and infatuation with me and just made me feel like I was the most special lady on the planet.
He lived 3 hours away and would drive up and see me any which way he could. He was my best friend and the connection I had with him on so many levels was so deep that I had never felt anything like it. FYI I’m not a silly, vulnerable weak girl I’m actually anything but and this has still happened.
So he used to refer to his ex from time to time saying things like how badly she treated him, how much of an upgrade I was and how he had obviously lowered her standards when he was with her (which isn’t a very nice thing to say at all and quite out of character for him as he was such a gentleman in every other way) but I found out on Christmas Eve night that he is still in a relationship with this woman through the power of social media and also a couple of rookie errors on his part.
I ignored him all day yesterday and was bombarded with texts and calls. He had planned to drive up tomorrow and see me and I was going to wait until then and get in his car, speak to him calmly and dignified and then get out, walk away and never see him again. But I couldn’t have kept it up for the next few days pretending everything was ok so I sent him a message last night. It was a well meaning, dignified and composed message and I even wished him well (I do have a good heart and I feel like acting this way just makes them realise what they have lost even more rather than being a crank about it). He messaged back which I really didn’t want him too with a long essay saying he is hurt that I haven’t allowed him to explain the full story and ending it with him saying he will respect my wishes and won’t contact me again and he’s then waited until I’ve read it and blocked me.
I just wish he hadn’t messaged back. I felt so much more in control when it was just me having the final word. He won’t ever contact me again (I feel like he’s blocked me and probably deleted everything so that he doesn’t get the urge) and I certainly wouldn’t have responded anyway. I just feel so hurt and empty.
I’m 33 for reference. I think when you’re younger you mourn the person but when you’re older you mourn the dreams and wishes and plans that you had made with that person and my goodness did we make a lot.
I know this probably won’t get much traffic as it’s Boxing Day and you’ll probably all be very happy with your families spending it as you should (I hope I have the same happiness next year) but I just feel like I need reassurance that I have done the right thing as now I’m thinking should I have not sent it and said it all in person tomorrow night face to face. Would that have given me better closure and control of the situation? Or would it have made me feel even worse? Ugh I feel like such an idiot, I feel like he’s tricked me even! Everything he said and did was just perfect and we had the most wonderful connection, how do I try and rid this horrible empty feeling and quickly?! I work two jobs and have a 3 year old daughter (Who is at her grandparents now thankfully playing with all of her cousins) I just feel sick to my stomach and can’t eat anything. Thanks in advance guys and please be gentle xx