Dh keeps telling me to Fuck Off

[Frankola]

Does anyone else's husband tell them to "fuck off"?

Since Sunday my dh has told me to FO on 3 different occasions. Not as a joke, just to clarify. When conversations haven't been going his way.

Last night for example, he told me to FO because I said I was exhausted this week from doing EVERYTHING for Xmas (gifts, food, wrapping...all of it)

He's never been like this before. We've been together 14 years and in the last couple of years he has suffered from depression, coupled with a job he hates.

I've really tried hard to help him through his depression but he just doesn't seem to be doing anything to help himself. His doctor recommended job hunting as he big part of his unhappiness is caused by work. But, you guessed it, he doesn't apply for other jobs and makes excuses when I push him to do so.

I dont know how much more I can put up with. It really takes a toll after 2 years with no improvements. I also don't want my dd to think its an acceptable way to be spoken to by anyone.

You deserve more than being his verbal punching bag to take out his frustrations on. He'll carry on doing it if you stay as he thinks he can do what he likes and you won't leave. Maybe the hotel idea might show he's wrong.

Depression coupled with him telling you to FO…is he trying to tell you he’s unhappily married but for some reason just can’t properly word it?
I suspect he wants out, I’d facilitate this.

Thank you so much for all your comments. You've given me some real food for thought and things to think about.

Merry Christmas to me eh?!

Read @TheFoundation's post. The. Read it again. Then follow their advice. Couldn't have put it better myself.

Hello OP. My H has had MH issues the past 2 years, and has told me to eff off about 4 times I think in the past year when the conversation hasn't gone his way... So you're not alone. It's horrible and I just always hope one day he will be better as he used to be the perfect, doting partner, but since our daughters arrival things went South!

Married 18 yrs, my husband has not once sworn at me, called me names or ever told me FO. If he did, I bloody would.
Don't get me wrong we've had some right ripper fights, but they seem to follow a pattern of a 'blow up' every 2 years, communication is something we are usually pretty good at.
Given its Xmas and availability for places is limited, I'd book yourself into a hotel for a day or two with your laptop for work and tell him fuck all.
Don't help him anymore, he's responsible for his own shit and if it's impacting on you, I'd be looking at exit plan.

This is from a person diagnosed with cancer this year and until then I've been happy and healthy, you have one life - live it happy.

I’ve been married for over 25 years and my husband has never told me to fuck off, shut up, or any of the other horrendous things that have come up in recent threads. No one has to put up with this kind of abuse.
Being depressed is not an excuse for being abusive.

It's not normal at all.... as others have pointed out it isn't usual for partners to do this. He also very much seems to have contempt flowing through him.

Please do listen to what people are saying. Your dd will be absorbing all of this also.

It started off that more or less that way with me being told to fuck off etc then more and more things and rhe names gradually started also.

Please don't look at this as minor behaviour or something that is okay to do as he has depression. So do I and others I know and we don't choose to take anger out on others. I can guarantee you he wouldn't speak to someone in the street the way he talks to you the same as in his work. You're a person with feelings and you are not here to be his emotional punchbag. Thinking of you and I can guarantee there will be other parts of behaviour that has got you thinking also.. you deserve better than this.

You need to go nuclear!
No way acceptable under any circumstances to speak to a partner like this, terrible example to children of what is ok
You need to take serious action

I tried telling my husband I was unhappy in marriage and that I didn t think I wanted it anymore and his reply was well FUCK OFF THEN I was shocked after 26 years no wanting to talk and try to fix things just FO !!! Am I been pathetic and been ott