Help!!

[LGMJ80]

Ladies advice needed!! My ex walked out at the beginning of the month, we had been divorced for a year but remained living together as a couple. However suddenly he left, comes back every day to see children etc. Whilst I was Christmas shopping on Wednesday he spoke to them whilst I was out and said he had a new woman and he would like them to meet her after Christmas and go for a few days skiing in Scotland! I am outraged as I didn’t have a clue!! Also he is refusing to tell them her name as he has professional reasons to keep it private!
Children are understandably very upset, leaders is refusing to speak to him!! Am I being unreasonable to be feeling like this is too quick to do this to the children. Especially as he has just walked out in them just before Christmas?!? Please ladies I need advice!! My mind is going at 100 miles an hour and I can’t function, I need to to get through the next few weeks xx

Did you sign anything financial? From what I know a divorce is a separate thing to a financial order, I believe? Get to a lawyer tomorrow.

I know that it sounds as though this is not a new relationship but I know that it is, I have seen messages starting 28th November. She has only just come out of a relationship with another man who was married.

@LGMJ80

I know that it sounds as though this is not a new relationship but I know that it is, I have seen messages starting 28th November. She has only just come out of a relationship with another man who was married.

How on earth do you know this much about her? This is all very very strange!

It does sound like he's manipulated you into a divorce, sorry

Are you in England? Usually a divorce contract be finalised unless finances settled and did a judge allow you to have nothing?

If it's genuinely the case then I think you have been tricked BUT was it a clean break? That's critical to know, did you have a solicitor ?

Forget this woman - why haven't you protected yourself legally? Let alone your kids? Is he paying maintenance even? This whole set up sounds insane.

Are you in England? Usually a divorce contract be finalised unless finances settled and did a judge allow you to have nothing?

I am and mine was done without finances and others I know have had the same.

When I was considering divorce, my divorce was going to go through without link to any financial settlement, you can do the things without a solicitor of you choose. Finances would have been done separately.

You need legal advice sharpish! Did you get a financial settlement when you divorced?

A judge will not usually sign off finances for the decree absolute. A statement must be presented that explains the finances, if there are no assets then it's not an issue but that must be declared. The law protects the needs of the children and any judge seeing assets and 3 dependant children would question the fairness of the division.

We didn’t have DC but we had a house and pensions. We made a private agreement and no one ever checked with either of us at any point along the way.

I know so much as it’s a small town! Her last relationship with a married man was actually my friends cousin!
I am fairly certain that there were no financial arrangements in place at the time of the divorce just said in the paperwork I was to remain in the house!
I didn’t seek legal advice as I wrongly trusted him to stand by his children if not me.

Hi OP,
If you don't have a financial order it might not be too late to sort out the finances.
See the government page:
www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/get-court-to-decide

It says
"You can divide money and property after your divorce is finalised or civil partnership has ended but it may change what you’re entitled to get and you may have to pay tax on it."

Get legal advice ASAP. It sounds like there is a farm at stake!!

Your husband sounds beneath contempt to attempt to leave his wife and children with nothing. If he tried to backtrack when you try to assert your rights to (at least) half your marital assets then please please do not be fooled. He sounds like an absolute psycho to manipulate the situation like this and attempt to leave you as the mother of 3 children with no means.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. I am angry for you - get what you are owed!

Hold on a second.

If you’re in England it is absolutely possible to get a decree absolute without a financial order, however lawyers do not recommend it.

So this possibly means you are divorced but no financial order has been done.
If a financial order (with clean break etc) has been done then there’s absolutely zero chance a judge has awarded you nothing. Unless of course there are no assets of note, which doesn’t appear to be the case.

When I divorced, financial was part of it. We had to declare everything and we agreed something in mediation. That order then had to be signed off by a judge. If they saw anything untoward in that settlement, then they could have refused and my exh and I would have had to attend a hearing.

What exactly have you signed? And what paperwork has been done?

@sassbott

Hold on a second.

If you’re in England it is absolutely possible to get a decree absolute without a financial order, however lawyers do not recommend it.

So this possibly means you are divorced but no financial order has been done.
If a financial order (with clean break etc) has been done then there’s absolutely zero chance a judge has awarded you nothing. Unless of course there are no assets of note, which doesn’t appear to be the case.

When I divorced, financial was part of it. We had to declare everything and we agreed something in mediation. That order then had to be signed off by a judge. If they saw anything untoward in that settlement, then they could have refused and my exh and I would have had to attend a hearing.

What exactly have you signed? And what paperwork has been done?

All of this. I divorced (many years ago) fairly quickly - within about 4 months of filing the Nisi and Absolute were both through.

It then took me about 4 more years to get the finances sorted due to arsehole ex messing about - but there is absolutely NO way a judge would let you walk away from a house and a farm with nothing - particularly as you have teenage children to support.

Go see a solicitor about pursuing your ex husband for a financial settlement. And take a photocopy NOW of any paperwork you can find on what he owns/earns.

A complete jumble of boundaries.your ex(or not so ex) got a divorce but wanted to keep his feet under the table,whilst looking for a new relationship.He has now found a new woman.why on earth did you live together as couple! After divorce.Bizarre!!