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Original poster

Bath salts

52 replies

Joevanswell · 19/12/2021 07:54

My dh and I have been having problems for some time, rarely have sex and bicker lots. Just found out he has bought me bath salts for Christmas…. I am in my forties for context. It’s over isn’t it?

OP posts:
Badbaddog · 19/12/2021 07:57

How do you know that’s the only thing he will give you? It’s not Christmas yet.

Original poster
Joevanswell · 19/12/2021 08:00

We agreed one present each. It’s not that that’s my only present that I care about, it’s the fact that it’s bath salts. I associate those with old grannies. I am not grabby, my favourite ever Xmas present from him was a framed photo from when I went travelling

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 19/12/2021 08:12

It's that line from the Betjemen poem...
'Bath salts and inexpensive scent
And hideous ties so kindly meant'

...standard presents for people when you don't know what they want. In 1954.

Bythecooker · 19/12/2021 08:23

They're great for anxiety and general mood, maybe he thinks they might be the miracle your marriage needs.

Original poster
Joevanswell · 19/12/2021 08:26

@ErrolTheDragon that’s my thoughts exactly, not someone you have three children with and have been married to for over 20 years.

OP posts:
KatherineJaneway · 19/12/2021 08:27

It's a 'no effort' gift.

Original poster
Joevanswell · 19/12/2021 08:29

I have imported his gift, organised it in October as its a niche hobby. The polar opposite of my gift which as ordered on Friday from Amazon ☹️

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 19/12/2021 08:30

Lots of people use Epsom Salts in the bath for a dose of magnesium. It’s a ‘thing’ at the moment.
I’d like to know the thought process before I was ringing a solicitor.

Original poster
Joevanswell · 19/12/2021 08:30

Think of bath salts as for very elderly great aunts

OP posts:
Original poster
Joevanswell · 19/12/2021 08:32

I also meet his new single blonde young bubbly secretary at his Christmas do who introduced herself to me as his work wife …….

OP posts:
Joystir59 · 19/12/2021 08:33

I bought two of my friends gorgeous bath salts with beautiful natural scents and containing magnesium for aches pains and to aid sleep. Both will love them. Not sure what the problem is tbh

Joystir59 · 19/12/2021 08:34

@GoodnightGrandma

Lots of people use Epsom Salts in the bath for a dose of magnesium. It’s a ‘thing’ at the moment. I’d like to know the thought process before I was ringing a solicitor.
This
ButterflyBitch · 19/12/2021 08:37

Oh come on Joy. Bath salts are nice if you like them and yes great for friend presents. But as a main Christmas present for your wife? They only cost a few quid and it’s hardly personal is it? If bath salts were my main present and not part of a wider set of gifts then I’d be disappointed too. It’s required no thought from OPs dh.

Original poster
Joevanswell · 19/12/2021 08:41

Thank @ButterflyBitch, that’s my point. The cost is irrelevant it’s the lack of thought or care.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 19/12/2021 08:42

I’d like to know the thought process before I was ringing a solicitor

Yes ... unfortunately I think the OP has an inkling.

(Personally I wouldn't mind nice bath salts - we don't really do serious xmas presents, we mostly discuss things we want and buy them ourselves. But that's us.)

itwasntaparty · 19/12/2021 08:47

We'll I'd be kissed off as I never have a bath. What's the deal with the the work wife though?

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 19/12/2021 08:49

Is it actual bath salts though or "bath salts"?

Joystir59 · 19/12/2021 08:53

@ButterflyBitch

Oh come on Joy. Bath salts are nice if you like them and yes great for friend presents. But as a main Christmas present for your wife? They only cost a few quid and it’s hardly personal is it? If bath salts were my main present and not part of a wider set of gifts then I’d be disappointed too. It’s required no thought from OPs dh.
Fair point.
Joystir59 · 19/12/2021 08:54

I can't remember the last time I took a bath, so they wouldn't float my boat.

MrMrsJones · 19/12/2021 08:55

Well if his new secretary I referring to herself as his work wife, I can guess where his energy is going.

And it isn't his wife

waterlego · 19/12/2021 08:57

I like Epsom bath salts cause I do a lot of weightlifting and they’re brilliant for soothing achy muscles. But I’m not you and it sounds as though you’ve given your OH no reason to think you’d be pleased to receive them so YANBU.

Bussinbussin · 19/12/2021 08:57

@Joevanswell

I also meet his new single blonde young bubbly secretary at his Christmas do who introduced herself to me as his work wife …….
Maybe the salts are for her?

I understand the problem, but wait and see what actually happens on the day before letting yourself get too upset.

frozendaisy · 19/12/2021 09:05

If I was bickering a lot with the only person I should be having sex with and wasn't even having sex with them I would buy them bath salts to.

Just because you put a lot of thought into a Christmas present doesn't mean that present will solve the other cracks.

Would need more info on the "work wife" comment, it is a common term, some people say that to try and endear themselves to the wife, would a young blonde secretary have any interest in an old boss? Not all women are out to snatch older, much baggage husbands, I most certainly wasn't/aren't.

Perhaps make a new year resolution together to reignite your bedroom spark.

Original poster
Joevanswell · 19/12/2021 09:09

No she got a more personal present, very outing so don’t want to put here in case he reads. I take baths about once every three months (shower daily!). I feel like a fool. I have been largely absent from home as working lots of extra hours due to frontline COVID role whereas I was very attentive before.

OP posts:
Original poster
Joevanswell · 19/12/2021 09:11

@frozendaisy, is mid 40s old 🤔

OP posts:
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