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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Can you give me advice

39 replies

dragonfly2012 · 16/12/2021 19:30

Hi

OP posts:
dragonfly2012 · 16/12/2021 19:31

Partner shouting at me because I wanted to buy my friend a Christmas present I see her tomorow . He won’t let me out . He says I go to the shops every day which is not true at all

OP posts:
Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 16/12/2021 19:34

Have you somewhere you can go and stay op? Ring the police from the locked bathroom. He can't stop you going out. You know that right?

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 16/12/2021 19:37

OP you know this is abuse?

How dare he shout at you for wanting to buy a present for your friend. He can't stop you from going out but I'm guessing that it's not safe for you to try it. Is there somewhere safe you can go and call the police?

gamerchick · 16/12/2021 19:37

If he's keeping you captive then ring the police and get him lifted.

Suzanne999 · 16/12/2021 19:39

What he is doing is abusive and imprisonments is illegal.
As said, lock yourself in a bathroom and call the police. I see his behaviour as one step away from physical abuse.

dragonfly2012 · 16/12/2021 19:40

He’s gone out now , he said he needed to go for a walk . I’ve been working like mad at home remotely

OP posts:
Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 16/12/2021 19:40

Don't consider 'how angry' he will be if the police came. Your safety is priority and you aren't safe there.

TiredSloth · 16/12/2021 19:43

Can you leave now whilst he’s out? Do you have anywhere you could stay?

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 16/12/2021 19:43

Yes, I can, you need to ring women’s aid and tell them everything. They will advise you on how to leave this abusive relationship.

dragonfly2012 · 16/12/2021 19:46

He’s gone out for a walk and put aftershave on ?

OP posts:
dragonfly2012 · 16/12/2021 19:48

I don’t have anywhere else

OP posts:
Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 16/12/2021 19:49

What about the friend you wanted a gift for?

Suzanne999 · 16/12/2021 19:51

Can you go to a friend? The friend you’re seeing tomorrow?

slashlover · 16/12/2021 19:56

OP, this and your previous thread is abuse.

dragonfly2012 · 16/12/2021 19:59

I feel so useless , I’m trying to build me confidence . I’m going for a drink with my friend tommorow night , don’t think he’s happy with that

OP posts:
dragonfly2012 · 16/12/2021 20:00

Do u find it strange ? He said he’s going for a walk and sprayed lots of aftershave on

OP posts:
teaandtoastwithmarmite · 16/12/2021 20:06

Sounds like he's got another woman. Whatever it is you need to get away from him

slashlover · 16/12/2021 20:12

It doesn't matter that he puts aftershave on, you need to leave.

Shadow1678 · 16/12/2021 20:12

Get out of there now. Go to your friends that you are seeing tomorrow and report him to the police tonight. Womens aid can help you please ring them

dragonfly2012 · 16/12/2021 20:14

Thanks I’ve tried someone aid and I could get through

OP posts:
TooMuchPaper · 16/12/2021 20:16

Phone the friend you are meeting tomorrow and ask for her help

dragonfly2012 · 16/12/2021 20:16

Do u think it sounds like another woman

OP posts:
MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 16/12/2021 20:18

@dragonfly2012

Thanks I’ve tried someone aid and I could get through
Try again.
Looubylou · 16/12/2021 20:23

How can he "not let you out"? Is he threatening you? Physically stopping you? Is there a history to this, which means he can lay the law down, and you know not to rock the boat? All of these suggest an abusive relationship. Confide in your friend or a relative at the very least - preferably a domestic abuse support service. Your council office will have links to a local one. Your GP can help. Even your local pharmacist can help. If you are literally imprisoned or fear for your safety, absolutely ring the police. Are there children in the house? He's likely walked to the pub? Does the thought of him coming home drunk worry you?

PinkArt · 16/12/2021 20:26

OP it doesn't matter if he's with another woman, what matters is your safety. That needs to be your focus.