Trusting the man you plan to start a family with

[missanonymous]

My fiancé wants us to have a baby and I do too but would prefer to try for a baby after we are married.

I genuinely thought so highly of him and trusted him until recently and I'll explain why!
I'm looking for advice here as I'm too embarrassed to tell my friends and family.

I saw 4 email notifications from an escort site to say he had logged into his account from a new device or location. I checked the times/locations and was not with him at those times, the log in locations were all local too.

He claims these are all spam emails and he has never cheated on me! To make matters worse I found an ATM receipt for £500 in cash withdrew during the day whilst I was at work.

Of course he claims to not remember why he withdrew the cash! I also found a video he had recorded of himself m@sturbating which he said was really "old" but was in fact recorded last month.

He says he doesn't know why he did it... probably boredom. He will not admit to anything!

Should i end this relationship?

I wouldn't even talk about having a baby until you have some truthful answers op.
Doesn't sound good to me I'm sorry

Yes I would end it, much easier to walk away now than when you have children with him, what a creep sorry. See it as a big warning not to.

End it and walk away. Do not have sex with him.
You know what he is doing.

Thank heavens you found out before having children with him

He doesn’t need to admit to it. You know what he was doing and he doesn’t even have an excuse. You will never be able to trust him. Do not have children with him.

Run! You don't want a man who is happy to put your sexual health at risk. Boredom, my arse!

He is a liar. A regular liar.
Walk away op.

Yes, end it. I'm so sorry, it's horrible to lose someone you thought was great. But living with this long term would destroy you.

Dont have a baby and definitely don't marry this scunner. Also, given that he's using prostitutes, I suggest you get a STI check up for your own well-being.

I’d personally call of the engagement. You can’t trust him and any man who pays for sex is a creepy loser. So he’s a liar AND a creep. Whatever you do, don’t gee pregnant! (And get an STI check).

Make sure you get tested for STDs and dump him.

RUN!!

End it. He's a seedy liar. If you stay with him you will live to regret it.

I'm usually sympathetic to the OH when I read these threads but even I'm thinking that the only good thing about this fiance is that he's very bad at lying.

Oh god get rid OP.

You know what he has been doing. £500 at an ATM? And he can't remember what for- bill shit.

Don't marry him and don't have kids with him.

He's a low-life scum pos.
Once a punter, always a punter.
You deserve much, much better than this.

The only reason he recorded that video is to put it on a contact site or show it to a partner (I suppose some people might like that kind of thing 🤔) A man would not record such a video for his own use.

I would come to the conclusion that I was just not enough for him.

Chuck him back. You 100% deserve someone more considerate and loyal than him.

OMG OP I am genuinely surprised you are even asking. Thank God you found all this before you got married and had a child with him, but now that you did there should be no doubt in your mind. RUN and do not look back!!!

Get away from him now. He sounds a bit weird.

@Unreasonabubble

I would come to the conclusion that I was just not enough for him.

Chuck him back. You 100% deserve someone more considerate and loyal than him.

Your first sentence. Wrong conclusion. For some men, you could be Halle Berry and it's not that you wouldn't 'be enough'. These men are just self-entitled and emotionally retarded and it is all about them.

Yes

He's not only disloyal he is risking your sexual health

Having unprotected sex with a man who is likely using prostitutes would be unbelievably stupid if only from the sexual health perspective

If he gave you an infection at best it's an inconvenience meaning you'd need to put ttc on hold but it could damage your fertility or even give you a life limiting condition like hepatitis or hiv

Not to mention the fact that the use of prostitutes means he is basically an abusive misogynist!

The second I'd found what you have I would have had NOTHING more to do with him it would sicken me even the thought of sharing a bed with such a "man"

You need a FULL sti and sexual health screening asap - condoms aren't 100% and don't protect against everything (they don't protect against crabs or warts for example)

He's lying to you! And the fact that he keeps lying when presented with facts is not a good thing.

No he's not father material, he's been seeing escorts, lying about it, potentially putting your health at risk, plus think of what £500 can buy rather than being spent on sex workers.

Oh dear. You should definitely, definitely end it and do not have kids with him. He sounds such a lowlife and I think you know it. I'm sorry.