Trusting the man you plan to start a family with

[missanonymous]

My fiancé wants us to have a baby and I do too but would prefer to try for a baby after we are married.

I genuinely thought so highly of him and trusted him until recently and I'll explain why!
I'm looking for advice here as I'm too embarrassed to tell my friends and family.

I saw 4 email notifications from an escort site to say he had logged into his account from a new device or location. I checked the times/locations and was not with him at those times, the log in locations were all local too.

He claims these are all spam emails and he has never cheated on me! To make matters worse I found an ATM receipt for £500 in cash withdrew during the day whilst I was at work.

Of course he claims to not remember why he withdrew the cash! I also found a video he had recorded of himself m@sturbating which he said was really "old" but was in fact recorded last month.

He says he doesn't know why he did it... probably boredom. He will not admit to anything!

Should i end this relationship?

You need to 100% leave this man. You will never be able to trust him.

Well obviously it would be silly to get married or have children with him. He's a man who uses prostitutes and lies to you.

I think you can do better. It's a pretty low bar.

Please don't have a baby with this man. You will be back again wondering how can you leave him but he's the father of your child.

I don't think you should marry someone who lies so easily, and with total lack of guilt. He doesn't care what you think.

And definitely get an STI check. I'm so sorry.

Masturbating himself on camera is seriously perverted! Dump him

Please do not have children with him. You deserve better. No way would I withdraw £500 and not be able to remember why!!

@TheMummilly - Blimey! I think I must be old fashioned and education by a younger woman is always a plus. As you say, you could be the most beautiful woman in the World but it would still not be enough.

@TheMummilly - sorry! quoted you wrongly. It's all about them.

Get checked for STIs asap make him pay.

You've definitely been duped, get this lying twat out of your life a.s.a.p and make sure you get your £500 quid back with interest. What a horrible fucker he is!

End it, and count yourself lucky you got out before marriage & children!

Yes, end it. Sorry . And get checked for STIs. You will be miserable if you have children with this man.

You have to be so careful choosing the father of your children. If your relationships works or you end up splitting up you are linked to them for the next 20 years even if they have been a complete nightmare. If you have any concerns about his character or any concerns with trust please I beg do not do it. It will not end well. You need to open your eyes to what his is doing & how he is treating you. Do you think this is what love looks & feels like?

This sounds shady, I wouldn't be having a baby with this man. The answers he has given don't add up, but you know that already.

If I'm being cynical, of course he would like a baby. If you have one, he can play family man but carry on his nonsense - difference being you'll just be a lot more tired and preoccupied with baby and it'll be a lot harder for you to leave him.

No, you should ignore the huge red flags, have a child with him without getting married then come here in a few years when he's given you chlamydia and left you high and dry.

He doesn't know why he withdrew £500? That alone is bollocks.

You know you know you can't trust him.

He knows you have proof, but is so full of himself he thinks he can convince you to ignore all the facts. Because he is so wonderful and amazing and you can't help but believe him.

What he is doing is abusive and the reason he wants a child, is because that makes you less likely to leave and more like to keep falling for his bullshit.

He doesn't love or respect you.

Yes - leave him . But you know that .

Do not have a baby with this man, do not marry him, do not even buy his a Christmas card, he is a horrible person.

Sorry.

Oh good lord no. The man is lying to you already and you will never be able to trust him.

Do not marry him.

And definitely Don't have a child with him.

Run fast, run far x

He withdrew £500 after looking at escort sites and “doesn’t remember” what the money was for?
If I were you I’d be insulted that he thinks you’re that fucking dumb!

Drop him like the sack of shit he is.

@dumplings1

Yes I would end it, much easier to walk away now than when you have children with him, what a creep sorry. See it as a big warning not to.

Be glad you found out now.

Imagine finding this out when you were pregnant?

Awful.

Dump him.

He's a creep and a liar.

He's not good enough for you.

You aren’t seriously considering staying with him are you?

He’s a liar.
Walk away now.

He's a liar.

He doesn't respect you enough to consider your health or to be open and transparent about financial matters and is potentially buying 'consent' from women to use their bodies for sex.

He also clearly thinks you are stupid, at least enough to believe his lies.

Why on earth would you consider a future with this man, or think he would be a good candidate as a father to children?