If he starts messages with 'hi lovely'...

[ColdHandsColdFeetWarmHeart]

... how do I start mine?

He calls me 'lovely' and 'sweetheart' which I definitely like, but can't think of anything to reply with - what affectionate terms can you use for a man?

I'm 50+ and so out of practice with this!

@TellingBone

Oy fuckface

Love this!!!!

I go for a “very romantic” - hey mate! To my husband
But we’ve been together for ever
Or hello Mr, if I’m feeling formal

Terms of endearment make me feel a bit icky- but hey if you like them, great… guessing you have to try some until you find one that works:
Handsome
Darling
Love

I am chatting with someone and they say hi gorgeous or how are you, you gorgeous woman! Which I love but I don't call him any affectionate names. Just using the kissy hearts face emoji a lot 🥰 😅

Cringe. I’d be uncomfortable if anyone called me anything like that.

If it is a new relationship and if you met on an online dating site, I would be inclined to be a bit more reserved and go on the basis that he has more than one iron in the fire and does not want to accidentally get the names of the women he is messaging confused. He probably got his fingers burnt before.

It is what spammers do.

Sorry, I am definitely unromantic and very much of the watch and wait variety.

Also, be aware of lovebombing where someone comes on too strong too soon but is hiding their true self for until you are hooked.

I'd use 'm'dear' or 'mister'. The former more for before a relationship and the later for once in you're in one maybe. But either way is usually fine.

I think those texts are sweet...but it is true that it's a known player tactic to use pet names because they're seeing multiple ppl and don't want to get the names mixed up in texts.

I don't know why but I really thought this was going to be a....

If he starts messages with "hi lovely"...
Does that mean he is definitely gathering or just probably gay?

Definitely gay* 🤦‍♀️

Have you met him in real life yet?

It's not online dating, we've had 4 dates and I've known him for years so know exactly what his situation is.

I just wanted affectionate name suggestions, not a character assassination! Flipping mumsnet

'Hi Bollockchops'

I call mine sexy or gorgeous.

Hey handsome is alright but you have to mix it up a bit. You can't use the same name every time

handsome is

Frankly I'd be very wary of any one who called me by a generic pet name. I read an article once that said men who do this do it because they're seeing more than one woman and it's easier to stick to generic term rather than using the wrong name with the wrong 'girlfriend'. Also another article on similar lines as the previous one that said to be wary of men who do this as they don't really see you as an individual and that you just fit a girlfriend shaped hole in their lives rather than really wanting to build a proper relationship with you.

Unfortunately I can attest to both viewpoints being true. Every boyfriend who has called me a generic pet name has been a cheater and others who just expected me to do what they wanted all the time like some appendage. No real interest in me or willing to try out anything I suggested and they generally wheeled me out when they wanted sex or needed a girlfriend to accompany them somewhere. Frankly it was like being an escort without the pay!!!!

Hey, Studmuffin

@rrhuth

handsome is

It's a million times better than 'sexy' 🤮

When did 'Lovely' become a Thing?

It's an adjective!

Of yes - sexy is

Mofo is alright

Bit harshI say hi lovely in most of my messages...

I do too but now I'm re-thinking as a few pp have said it condescending. Is it really that bad?

Thanks ArsenicNLace if I ever have a firework which needs pissing on I'll know where to come...

He also uses my name, of course he does, he just sometimes calls me sweetheart too, so I expect that means he must be a complete arsehole?

There's some real fun sponges on here!

Thanks for the replies I got in the spirit of the thread though, just needed some inspiration!

Babes?

You don't have to use anything! My boyfriend called me sweetheart and darling etc from the start, but I just can't use those terms of endearment, with anyone. So I just say hi or hello. As time has gone on I sometimes say hello lovely boyfriend, or man I like.

@Nanny0gg, I think it probably started as ‘My lovely’.

I call everyone ‘lovey’ which probably makes me sound like a thespian. It probably annoys some people but I don’t really realise I’m doing it most of the time.