Do i reply after he didn't message for 4 days?

IknowwhatIneed · 12/12/2021 15:31

I’d not expect someone to message me immediately after necessarily 3 days is nothing really. If I wanted a relationship with him I’d reply, if I didn’t I wouldn’t.

Whataday21 · 12/12/2021 15:33

No I wouldn't reply. I'd want to be treated better than that.

Cocio · 12/12/2021 15:34

What is his usual pattern of messages? 3 days might be normal for him.

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2021 15:35

@Cherrypopp

Been seeing a guy for 3 months, after leaving his house he did not message me at all for 3 days so i thought it was over, however he messaged me asking how i'm doing. I don't know if i should just leave it or reply?

Did you message him?

Chachasha · 12/12/2021 15:36

Do you feel used? If so, I would just say it and see what happens. You're clearly not happy so some conversation needs to be had.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 12/12/2021 15:36

Did you message him and he didn’t reply?
Does he usually message more often?
Are you wanting this to develop into a more serious relationship or something more casual?

There’d be a few things I’d need to consider before writing him off completely

HellonHeels · 12/12/2021 15:36

Did you message him after you left?

TBH at this stage Id expect him to be so into you and loved up that he'd make contact quite quickly. Not doibg so, to me, would make it seem he wasn't so into things and that would be quite deflating

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2021 15:39

@HellonHeels

Did you message him after you left?

TBH at this stage Id expect him to be so into you and loved up that he'd make contact quite quickly. Not doibg so, to me, would make it seem he wasn't so into things and that would be quite deflating

I agree but it works both ways which is why I'm wondering if the OP messaged him.

She hasn't given enough info.

Original poster

Cherrypopp · 12/12/2021 15:45

Yeah i sent the last message afterwards so the ball was in his court, he has never taken this long before, we normally message a few times a day so i took it as a hint that he wasn't into me. It's just confusing he has messaged now?

OP posts:

supercali77 · 12/12/2021 15:45

Its obviously made you uncomfortable which suggests it's not typical for him? Im assuming you've texted in that time? Is there more in the feeling than just the time to text?

Myself, being mutually into someone means a day doesn't go by without contact

FabulousMrFifty · 12/12/2021 15:46

I’m sure the guy is thinking the same thing. “Why hasn’t she messaged me for 3 days, is it over, has she dumped me”

HellonHeels · 12/12/2021 15:51

@Cherrypopp

Yeah i sent the last message afterwards so the ball was in his court, he has never taken this long before, we normally message a few times a day so i took it as a hint that he wasn't into me. It's just confusing he has messaged now?

Well that pretty much settles it for me. You spent time together, all good. You messaged him afterwards and he didnt respond for three days. Well, 1. That's plain rude! 2. Id definitely take it that he wasnt into it and therefore why bother with him again unless you want something casual.

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2021 15:52

@Cherrypopp

Yeah i sent the last message afterwards so the ball was in his court, he has never taken this long before, we normally message a few times a day so i took it as a hint that he wasn't into me. It's just confusing he has messaged now?

Just tell him you're surprised he took so long to reply to the message you sent and see what he says.

HellonHeels · 12/12/2021 15:52

Did he say anything at all about the delayed reply, or did he just pop up out of nowhere with some stupid chat?

bonfireheart · 12/12/2021 15:54

Ask him, but be prepared for some madeup story.

TheFoundations · 12/12/2021 15:55

There's no right or wrong. Your relationship should fit with your boundaries. So the question isn't whether strangers on a forum think it's ok/think it's over/think you should or shouldn't reply, it's 'How do you feel? Would you be happy in a relationship with somebody with this communication pattern? Do you want a relationship where you need to consult a forum to work out your relationship status, rather than asking your partner?'

What do you think, OP? How do you feel? Has this break in communication crossed the line, for you? Everybody has their lines in different places, and anything you feel is 100% valid.

Aprilx · 12/12/2021 15:57

@Cherrypopp

Yeah i sent the last message afterwards so the ball was in his court, he has never taken this long before, we normally message a few times a day so i took it as a hint that he wasn't into me. It's just confusing he has messaged now?

I think after three months I wouldn’t expect to still be caught up with whose turn it is to message. You both left it for three days, I would take it as a sign that this wasn’t going anywhere though.

GreenLunchBox · 12/12/2021 15:58

I wouldn't bother tbh and would wait for him to double text or never text again. This way you know if he's willing to make an effort or not

inmyslippers · 12/12/2021 15:59

No if you accept that behaviour he knows he can get away with it

bonfireheart · 12/12/2021 16:00

I do get you don't need to text each other everyday but if you saw someone then it's only polite to send a "it was lovely to see you today" text after.

Marshwawows · 12/12/2021 16:02

I'd leave it. Was it in the evening? It may have been a booty call or he may have been drunk.

SoItWas · 12/12/2021 16:03

I think even if you'd been dating a lot longer, (but weren't living together), being out of touch for a few days, now and then, shouldn't be big deal. Sometimes people are busy, need some space/ne time etc.

SoItWas · 12/12/2021 16:03

*ne me

Nancy83 · 12/12/2021 16:04

You can’t even communicate with each other honestly. Dead in the water.

SoItWas · 12/12/2021 16:05

If it becomes a regular thing, that woul