Do i reply after he didn't message for 4 days?

[Cherrypopp]

Been seeing a guy for 3 months, after leaving his house he did not message me at all for 3 days so i thought it was over, however he messaged me asking how i'm doing. I don't know if i should just leave it or reply?

I would suggest 'mirroring him' & investing about as much as he does.

He waited 3 days to reply? you do the same: you wait 3 days and you send a very short reply and see whether he gets the hint and starts pursuing you again and contacting you regularly. If not you ditch him.

I had something similar this week. I had started seeing a man who was already a friend of mine and for the last couple of months we had been chatting/messaging regularly. After last weekend which I spent at his flat, the pattern changed (second time we had sex). I did not hear anything from until Thursday when I got a short message which I thought was lazy, disrespectful behaviour. When I suggested we do something this weekend he waited until the following day to reply/ He was up for it but that wasn't the point: I want someone who is excited to see me and who communicates regularly . So on Saturday morning I cancelled the date and I did not reply to the message he sent in response.

I think (some) men when they see you like them back get complacent or play this weird game where they pull back for a bit.

I don't have time for these games or for lazy dates.

*if it became a regular thing, or was more than a few days at a time, that would be different.

I wouldn't respond now no , messaging after 3 days is rude after you've been together 3 months. Just move on .

It takes 10 seconds to send a text. Not 3 days. Dump him and raise your boundaries OP.

I wouldn't.

Agree with the poster who says to ask yourself if you feel used. If you do, then listen to your gut and do not just overlook that.

Well I certainly wouldn't reply.

Peoples lives have been taken over, by the urgent needs,to keep phoning and texting eachother all the time.. Its not necessary ,unless there is some kind of neediness going on.

Erm... just have a conversation with him! Say you're annoyed and see what he says. No point in playing guessing games; just wastes both of your time.

@1forAll74

Peoples lives have been taken over, by the urgent needs,to keep phoning and texting eachother all the time.. Its not necessary ,unless there is some kind of neediness going on.

Everybody has different needs. Nobody is right or wrong. We just have to find compatibility.

It's not 'neediness' if you want your partner to be in touch with whatever amount of regularity you prefer.

A partner who likes contact once a month might consider it needy if you wanted contact once a fortnight. A partner who likes contact twice a day might consider it needy if you wanted contact 3 times a day. It really doesn't matter what the amount of contact is; it only matters that you have a relationship with someone who doesn't count your preferences as 'needy'.

What was his reply like?

I don’t think people have to text back straight away and he could have been busy. If his reply was normal then I’d let it go but if it was quite vague then I’d assume he is trying to let the relationship fade out.

Was it the first time you’ve had sex with him?

There is no hard and fast rule IMO.

HOWEVER, the discomfort or anxiety you feel may be your “spidey senses” saying something eg he’s not really into you or whatever it is.

If it was me personally I’d be more guarded and expect the worst, even if I wanted to continue. Do you? Is he really that great?

I'd guess he went on a date with someone else... hence going quiet, but it wasn't great so he's messaged you again.