Any other ex Jehovah's Witnesses on here whose family has dumped them?

[Cerridwen83]

Ex JW for 3 years now.

My sister has cut me off (for anyone not familiar with JWs, if you decide to leave then they don't take it very well).

I was never formally "disfellowshipped" (ex communnicated) but my sister and mum have still decided I no longer exist, basically.

I'm really really struggling with it. I'm not sure why it's suddenly become so hard to deal with, after 3 years. At first I was sad, but accepted it, thought it was their choice etc...thought I'd made my peace with it.
Now it's just eating away at me...I feel torn apart most days. I look at old photos of my sister and I.
I think about my nieces and imagine what they're up to. Neither of them have tried to get in touch either. They're 16 and 18, not little kids. They could probably get in touch if they wanted to.
I sent my sister a text at the start of 2020 lockdown asking if she was OK and coping with Covid...She ignored it. I tried to call once last summer and she cut me off.

We had such a close relationship before I decided I didn't want to be part of the religion anymore.
As soon as I told her I was having doubts, didn't feel like I wanted it/believed it, her entire demeanour changed towards me...she became so cold and eventually just stopped contacting me.

My mum hasn't cut me off but is so cold whenever she sees me. She's always been quite emotionally unavailable and doesn't talk about emotions, asked how I am etc. Since I'm no longer a JW it's got a million times worse. She looks at me with this awful "detached" look if that makes sense. Like a fake smile that doesn't reach her eyes.
Last time I tried to give her a hug last week it was like trying to hug a stone statue. There was no warmth or love.
She looks down on my lifestyle (even though I'm a lot happier now I'm not part of a religion I no longer believe in following) and never asks me how I am or what I've been up to.
Any time I ask her to come over or meet up for lunch is met with "Oh I won't be able to...insert excuse..."
But always has plenty of time for her friends or my sister.
I try and tell her about my new friends I've made, but she's totally not interested at all.
She makes homophobic comments and sneers at people on the TV for instance she thinks are "unchristian" and I honestly don't feel happy ever introducing her to some of my friends,some of whom are gay etc.

She just makes me anxious when I'm around her, basically. She was like this before I left the JWs, but as I said, its got worse. She just looks at me like she hates me. But keeps up having a relationship with me. Why??

I just feel so low lately and have been crying a lot.
Obviously their love for me is conditional on me remaining a JW.
If I suddenly decided to come back to it I know I would be welcomed with open arms and have an outpouring of love, at least from my sister

I've been craving that love so much lately.
I just want a mum who loves me no matter what religion I follow.

I doubt that Jesus Himself would recognise the JWs as Christian! What happened to "love thy neighbour", and "judge not, that ye be not judged"?
And please can some PPs stop lumping all religions in with extreme cults. Normal mainstream Christianity is all about love and forgiveness, not ostracising one's closest relatives.

@Babdoc

I doubt that Jesus Himself would recognise the JWs as Christian! What happened to "love thy neighbour", and "judge not, that ye be not judged"? And please can some PPs stop lumping all religions in with extreme cults. Normal mainstream Christianity is all about love and forgiveness, not ostracising one's closest relatives.

Some JW groups do fit into the cult bracket though

I mean that in the it's not bashing a particular religion, it's about their extreme practices.

All faiths are fine by me as long as they aren't abusing their subscribers.

Thank you all for taking the time to post messages of support to me

I’m so sorry you are going through this.
I grew up in a JW family. I suffered a lot when I left - I had to get out and ended up living in a hostel at 16.
I don’t think JW is an evil cult. They are mostly a lot of very decent people …. But they have a very insular view of the world and it is not commensurate with a healthy full emotional life. The Elders were the pits.
I don’t believe my DM abused me by effectively cutting me off when I left. I believe that she was as much a victim as I was. she was recruited into JW when she was vulnerable and I know she did the best she could operating under the weird boundary conditions of JW. It was nothing to do with how much she loved me and everything to do with the world view she had.
Whatever you do, try not to internalise it. You have saved yourself by stepping away. You can’t save your family as well that’s on them. Have zero expectations … just let your mum and Dsis know now and then that you love them and miss them but try to accept that they are ‘blind’ to you now. One day it may change. Or maybe it won’t but it’s no reflection on their love for you. That love is still there but it’s forbidden for them to acknowledge it so they will just keep trying to quash it …. it’s not on you.