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Original poster

Money Grabbing?

42 replies

UKMamacita · 09/12/2021 10:22

Hello everyone....I am after a bit of advice please. When I was 18 my grandparents had some money which they wanted my 2 cousins and I to have. They split it equally in 3 parts, and told us this was our "inheritance". As they lived abroad (I'm in the UK) and back then the money wasn't much, had converted it in GBP, my parents suggested, they would put the same amount of money I had received and we would buy a house as an investment. Being 18 and living far away from the family, I thought this would be a good investment. Fast forward 25 years, to today, and my parents have lived in the house since. I would like to point out at that they also have another house in a different country, so 2 properties in total. I've had ups and downs in my life but never asked anyone for any type of help, but it's come to the point where my husband and I would be able to buy a property if we had a little bit extra money. I would like to "cash-in" my investment but my mother isn't budging. My dad passed away last year, so she keeps bouncing between two houses (in 2 different countries) and spends the summer in Italy and goes to the other house in winter. She is 72 and keeps saying that "she'll soon settle in one house and sell the other". Do you think I'm being selfish asking her for my slice of the house? Does she really need to have 2 houses whilst she's sitting on my part of the inheritance? My cousins were able to get the inheritance straight away and bought their own homes....I on the other hand have not been able to use these money. If I speak to my mother about this she starts getting very defensive and says "It's not the right time for her to sell one of the properties", but part of me thinks she's had long enough to use them....she should be a little bit more considerate? Or am I being selfish? Also she mentioned that she would give me "the amount my grandparents gave me", but I feel that because it was an "investment" and we both put the same amount of money in, I should potentially get half of the sold price.......am I wrong? This is getting me down, because I don't feel like I'm asking too much, at the same time I don't want to cause a rift, but I feel she is being a selfish and stubborn. She also mocks me at times for not having a property and tells lies to people she knows that we have a house here in the UK. Many thanks in advance.

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 09/12/2021 10:23

Do you legally own part of the house?
If not you are screwed

Sparklfairy · 09/12/2021 10:25

Of course you should get half. It was sold to you as an investment. I'm assuming she can't afford (or says she can't afford) to buy you out instead of selling? I'm also assuming you had nothing in writing about how this inheritance has been invested?

Your mother is trying to rip you off.

sofato5miles · 09/12/2021 10:28

Do you have siblings? Is anything in writing. Yes 50% is your if investment was 50/50 AND the deeds reflect such

Double3xposure · 09/12/2021 10:29

Of course you should get half of the current value of the house, minus costs. This is a great time to sell it, unless it’s in London .

Who is paying for the running costs of this house which sits empty when you mother is inItaly ?

Juniper68 · 09/12/2021 10:32

Oh no I hope you do have legal rights to half. YANBU

Original poster

UKMamacita · 09/12/2021 10:36

I do own legally half of the house, as my grandparents made sure my name was on the deeds, but she pays for the upkeep whilst she's bouncing between the 2 properties. However, she has had full use of it since we bought it.....I haven't.

OP posts:

Squeezyhug · 09/12/2021 10:39

As others have asked

When you invested your half, was it put in writing ?
Do you jointly own the property and you name is on the deeds ?

Or did you just trust her and handed over the money for her to buy a house in her name?

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 09/12/2021 10:41

When she is in the other house I would be moving in...

Viviennemary · 09/12/2021 10:42

If the house is in your name you can force a sale. If not you have problems.

Squeezyhug · 09/12/2021 10:43

Sorry, crossposted.

Jacaranda75 · 09/12/2021 10:44

So you've got no houses and she's got two? I'm sorry, but that is greedy and selfish. You need to put your foot down, OP. Can she buy a smaller property with half of the sale of the UK house?

Viviennemary · 09/12/2021 10:45

I see your namd is on the deeds. You need to come to an agreement as to how much she needs to pay to buy you out. Pretty selfish behaviour on her part.

Juniper68 · 09/12/2021 10:45

Outrageous! Put your foot down. She's so selfish.

Original poster

UKMamacita · 09/12/2021 10:50

@sofato5miles

Do you have siblings? Is anything in writing. Yes 50% is your if investment was 50/50 AND the deeds reflect such

No siblings, I'm an only child.

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 09/12/2021 10:56

This is difficult. You are entitled to fifty percent of sale proceeds and no solicitor will not distribute the funds like that, due to money laundering/tax/fraud etc. so no need to be concerned

The difficulty is, you can force a sale. But the damage to your relationship with your mother will be irreparable. On the flip side what she’s doing is unacceptable, but possibly understandable as she views it as her home.

Flowers500 · 09/12/2021 11:05

Thank god your grandparents saw your cheeky cow of a mother coming. It’s understandable that she doesn’t want to move out but it’s half yours and it’s ridiculous for you to put your life on hold. Could you sell and help her buy a small flat in the UK as an English base?

Original poster

UKMamacita · 09/12/2021 11:09

@Flowers500

I have suggested that to her. Why doesn't she sell both properties, buy a smaller flat here in the UK near us, so we can keep an eye on her in her old age, and just give me my part, then everybody would be happy. But no because she says she doesn't like the "UK weather"....and wants to be by the sea in Italy. I feel I can't win, as she wants to have her cake and eat it....and stuff everyone else.

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 09/12/2021 11:10

@UKMamacita

In which case you may be able to force a sale but you would need legal advice for that. Plus you would have to face the family fall out It’s a crappy situation and you would hope your mum would be fair and reasonable but it looks like you can’t count on that

LaurieFairyCake · 09/12/2021 11:24

See a solicitor and force a sale

Greedy so and so she is

RandomMess · 09/12/2021 11:25

Yep sounds like you need to go through the courts and force sale.

Batten down the hatches for the guilt trip.

Norwolf · 09/12/2021 11:39

Another one here for forcing the sale. She sounds like a nightmare and very selfish and detached to do this to her only child. It is your right, 100%, your grandparents saw this coming too…

honeylulu · 09/12/2021 12:15

Good that you are named on the deeds. What country is that house in though. I think people reading this thread are assuming it's in the UK where there is a procedure for forcing a sale. I'm not sure how it works in other countries.

Forcing a sale would be very acrimonious. Though I agree your mother is selfish and behaving appallingly. Won't free up your share so you can buy one house, because she likes owning two! What a CF!

Juniper68 · 09/12/2021 12:23

Get legal advice and force sale she's being TOTALLY unreasonable.

Hoppinggreen · 09/12/2021 12:30

@honeylulu

Forcing a sale would be very acrimonious. Though I agree your mother is selfish and behaving appallingly. Won't free up your share so you can buy one house, because she likes owning two! What a CF!

Yes so OP must get legal advice in the country the house is in, sounds like Italy

Sparklfairy · 09/12/2021 12:47

Forcing a sale would be very acrimonious

I'm pretty sure that's what the OP's mother is counting on; the unspoken threat of the consequences of this to their relationship.

You can give her one chance to play nice. Buy you out, or sell and split. If not, you have no option but to force the sale.

Yes, the nuclear option but she's leaving you no choice.

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