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Original poster

Which one to choose ?

53 replies

novembeer · 01/12/2021 20:25

Note - it's for friend not for myself
If you hve option which one u will choose I understand ppl say earn ur own money etc which is fine but if u have option which one will be ur choice ( some culture don't have that sort of independence it's for them)

Option 1
Good guy…
Good salary …
Got own house …
Will never cheat …
Looks ok ok not v handsome …
V family oriented …
Crap in sex …
Mummy boy …
Bit controlling…
Good with money …
Do take care of me and loves me …
V knowledgeable with investment and future savings …
Don’t drink don’t smoke …

Option 2
Good guy …
Earn less the good guy 35k …
Will get house with my help and savings …
Cheating he won’t too …
Looks good handsome …
For him I m the priority …
V good in sex …
Not mommy boi …
V independent …
Go loves me and take care of me …
Ok ok with money …
Not v investment and savings coz of less earning …
Drink occasionally & don’t smoke…

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 01/12/2021 22:17

Clearly I'm missing the back story here... do these men know your 'friend' is seeing both of them?

I'll say 2. Definitely not 1. But if you're that undecided, neither is right and there must be a 3 out there.

Original poster
novembeer · 01/12/2021 22:35

@Jk24

I don't get how 2 men can love the same woman. Is your 'friend' playing them both?
No option 1 she was in relationship but did not work out due some reason .. then option 2 came in picture but now she is confused coz option 1 is saying he has improved .. and now family pressure coz they know option 1 so they want her to choose 1 so she started seeing option 1 to know how he is now .. they broke up 2 yrs back and then option 2 came in her life .. if it make sense
OP posts:
hidingfromthemouse · 02/12/2021 07:02

Definitely option 2

Vapeyvapevape · 02/12/2021 07:13

You’re trying to decide who to choose as if they are cars or a washing machine where you weigh up the pros and cons. What about love , what about a deep connection?

Weird way to go about it.

LetHimHaveIt · 02/12/2021 07:20

@Sonaftersonafterson

I think both "options" should run very fast in the opposite direction to wherever you are with your weird lists.
Completely this. Clearly English isn't OP's first language, but this post remains bonkers independent of that, and posters taking it seriously are beyond my ken 🙄

I vaguely remember a game based on writing down my name and the boy I liked's name, then crossing out all the letters in common, then counting the remaining vowels, or some shit, and getting a percentage match. I think I was ten. Maybe try that.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 02/12/2021 07:39

Neither.

You shouldn’t marry someone you can live with. You should marry someone you can’t live without.

Ellen888 · 02/12/2021 07:42

I agree with previous poster,

IMO if they can't choose between either of them then they probably should have neither of them.

OopsThereGoesAnother · 02/12/2021 07:53

@DrinkFeckArseBrick

I think in general if you can't choose between two guys then neither is right for you
This.

But, out of those options, 2. No shadow of a doubt.

girlmom21 · 02/12/2021 07:55

Are you the same poster who asked about love vs money a few months ago?

Dozer · 02/12/2021 07:57

Avoid option 1! Date option 2 or stay single for the moment!

Family’s opinions are irrelevant, and if they think someone controlling is a good option they don’t have your friend’s best interests at heart.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/12/2021 11:11

@girlmom21

Are you the same poster who asked about love vs money a few months ago?
Yep.
girlmom21 · 02/12/2021 12:23

@youvegottenminuteslynn I thought she'd chosen money...

I hope they both find someone who doesn't treat them as pawns in her game

Jk24 · 02/12/2021 21:30

Well then whoever makes her happiest sod all the other stuff on your list

Shoxfordian · 02/12/2021 21:50

Just buy her a dildo for Christmas and tell her to dump both of them

Original poster
novembeer · 03/12/2021 06:26

@Closetbeanmuncher

Oh ffs have you still not made up your mind or are these just the latest prospects Confused
Latest prospects
OP posts:
Original poster
novembeer · 03/12/2021 06:28

@Jk24

I don't get how 2 men can love the same woman. Is your 'friend' playing them both?
Not playing any one .. let's get that straight ..
OP posts:
Original poster
novembeer · 03/12/2021 06:29

@youvegottenminuteslynn

How's it got so far with both that they're both in love with your 'friend'? I'm all for not being exclusive until you're sure you don't want to see other people, have no issue with people dating multiple people as long as everyone is aware... but to let it get as far as two people falling in love with you sounds ridiculous.
Both parties are aware that she has not made her mind up and they are okey with her taking her time and deciding
OP posts:
TyrannosaurusRights · 03/12/2021 07:02

I’m intrigued by which culture doesn’t allow the sort of independence required for a woman to earn her own money or choose her own husband but is fine with women having pre marital sex and multiple boyfriends.

Bogeyes · 03/12/2021 07:11

Is this really about money?

LetHimHaveIt · 03/12/2021 07:21

@TyrannosaurusRights

I’m intrigued by which culture doesn’t allow the sort of independence required for a woman to earn her own money or choose her own husband but is fine with women having pre marital sex and multiple boyfriends.
Curious, isn't it?
LetHimHaveIt · 03/12/2021 07:22

The good thing is - they both definitely won't cheat, as OP's friend is so alluring and dynamic. And because the lists say so.

Original poster
novembeer · 03/12/2021 08:38

@TyrannosaurusRights

I’m intrigued by which culture doesn’t allow the sort of independence required for a woman to earn her own money or choose her own husband but is fine with women having pre marital sex and multiple boyfriends.
I know some orthodox families are like that .. basically she has option 1 who is a family friend and they dated so all was okey but it didn't work out so she meet someone out of her religion.. but family disapprove due to religion and earnings (option 2 it is ) she is self doubting now coz all in her family are saying no .. and they want she consider again option 1 so to respect family she said yes to meet him couple of times to see if he has change .. if it makes sense
OP posts:
Bouledeneige · 03/12/2021 08:59

So you've been seeing two blokes to the point where they are both in love with you? And now you're writing little lists to decide between them? You don't sound lovely.

Original poster
novembeer · 03/12/2021 09:09

@Bouledeneige

So you've been seeing two blokes to the point where they are both in love with you? And now you're writing little lists to decide between them? You don't sound lovely.
No she is not dating option 1 .. she dated him 2 yrs back .. right now she is dating option 2 .. and when I say she meet option 1 due to family wants too does not mean kissing, etc .. Just meeting eachother like friends and seeing if it can be any future like ppl do in arrange marriage ..
OP posts:
ElectraBlue · 03/12/2021 09:09

Neither...

That amount of confusion/indecision simply shows that they are not the right guys, full stop.

But also it is completely unfair to both men to turn them into a shopping/wish list.

They deserve to be with someone who genuinely likes them for who they are.

Amazed by the comments from people who seem to think this is an OK thing to do...