Realistically will I find love now?

[Desertty]

Obviously nobody can answer that definitely.

38 in a few months. I think I’ve loved and been in love before but this was many years ago now. The last few years have been total rubbish, shitty relationships.

It feels fucking awful.

I’ve known people meet at 40 get married and have children at 43. Basically there is always hope.

Keep trying OLD if you want too, but it tends to happen when you least expect it

Could have written this Im 36 single was seeing someone recently who seemed normal but then became weird . Confidence is shot.

Have you worked out what was going wrong with the shitty relationships? If you know what the problem was, you'll know how to avoid repeating it. And if you know you're not going to repeat it, you'll feel safer (ie more secure) jumping into the dating pool, swimming about, and saying 'no' to non-compatibles.

Sorry, I forgot to answer the actual question I asked: yes, you will, if you want to, and you put he work in on yourself so that you can do a good job when you're looking.

People find love in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s... do you really feel you're running out of time to find love at 38?

I feel like this too. I’m 43, been divorced for 7 years and have had one relationship in that time. Coupled with having bipolar I’m not a good catch….

I met my DP when I was 46, after my long, horrible marriage ended three years before. He is quite literally the best thing that ever happened to me. Dont give up hope.

How did it happen @funny

38 sounds young to me, I would work on bringing joy in to your life.
Can you change job? reduce work days to 4? be more creative? write / journal, travel, be brave!

I think the reason I didn't fine love was because I had a negative mother complex. My mother wasn't that in to me. My needs injured her. My perspective was an aggression I perpetrated against her, and yet she was the victim of my silliness!

I kept finding my mother over and over again.

If you've had real love and loved then there's nothing to stand in your way but as an old person of 51 I'd suggest bringing as much contentment in to your life as you possibly can so that you're resonating on a very joyful frequency. Draw in somebody who loves your bravery and your contentment.

You're young. Honestly. x

@Pinkandpurplehairedlady

I feel like this too. I’m 43, been divorced for 7 years and have had one relationship in that time. Coupled with having bipolar I’m not a good catch….

The belief that you're not a catch is considerably worse for your relationship prospects than having bipolar disorder. In fact it really reliably delivers shit relationship results.

I met my husband at 39, married at 40, first baby 41, second at 43!
A friend has just announced her engagement- she's 52 and met her fiancé last year.
It's never too late, but you have to put yourself out there. I don't mean online dating, but go whenever you are invited anywhere, volunteer, go to museums, markets, whatever. The more you do the more likely you are to meet someone, and even if not you'll be out there keeping busy, not at home pining.

Also mid forties here when met the best match and loveliest person ever. Don’t give up, just accept what things are for now, stay positive. Enjoy what you do have that is good in your life.

Some
Nice stories here but how did u meet? I am so tired of one time waster after another

Yes it possible. Met mine at 46 randomly on a FB group after 4 years of dating on line.

I wanted kids. Not alone though. So that feels like it won’t be the case now.

I read so much on here that a relationship isn’t a relationship until a few years in. I don’t have that time now. It feels so horrendously shit.

Those who met someone please say how? I online date and I do go out and do things but I’m exhausted with it. I don’t give a fuck another fancy restaurants and travelling, I’ve done that over and over. I just want a nice cosy home with someone.

I’m sick of seeing things like ‘looking for a drinking buddy’ etc on dating website.

@Desertty i feel your pain so much!

its sad in a way OP and i hear your pain. but maybe you were meant for other things whatever that may be. life is life - with or without some bloke in the corner! you can make the "most" of it or not. i think it doesn't help on MN when you see women who have met their "other half" and are truly happy. we are all built differently, tho!

also, don't assume everyone in a couple is "cosy", maybe they're just smug, domesticated dullards, literally partners in crime (I've met a few, oh yes), or simply 'drinking buddies'! No awards there for anything.

Found my lovely and gorgeous current fiancé on Tinder at 42, after fucking decades of (fucking) shit blokes. Never give up hope! Xx

I met my Mr in our local pub.

Totally wasn't looking.

I was out with a friend just bumbling, he said to my friend at the bar "your friend looks good" she replied "well go and tell her then"

Almost inseparable ever since.

I do think anecdotes about finding a man are sweet enough, but not totally convincing. Lots of women over the age of 40 will, for a variety of reasons, not meet a soul-mate, or even someone to share the rent with! I still think its better to focus on yourself and your life and maybe someone will turn up (IRL or internet dating, whatever). Just don't lower your bar whatever you do OP, there are some serious jerks - lazy cuckoo or professional sexual-weirdo - out there who will bring nothing to your life, and in fact the opposite. Make your standards high in every way and most of all, make sure its a plus, whatever you do. There are worse things than being single, especially if you can find a way to enjoy it.

People can find love at any age but as a word of warning a few friends were desperate for dc in their later thirties and scared a few guys off because they became so intense and questioning about kids on date 3.

The most beautiful wedding I ever went to was my friend who was 49, I was her maid of honour and I was so very happy for her. Still together 8 years later and happiest couple I know.

I met my now husband when I was 39, age doesn't matter

Another word of warning - single women after late 30s can see even the most unpromising and creepy men as exciting possibles, because of the sense of desperation and "will" to make things work like they see for others. Don't let that happen to you OP.

I work with a guy who is sweet, but difficult in a lot of way. Not mean, but exceptionally quirky. He recently got engaged at 51z said he went in over 250 first dates. He had one 6 year relationship but he just did not give up. I think people who commit to finding a relationship find One, but it has to become something you really committed to. I would do that and figure out how to better like my life.

38 is SO YOUNG! Yes absolutely you will. People fall in love and remarry in their 80s.

@Starbrand we were set up by a mutual friend!! She basically bullied DP into asking me out (in a nice way!). We went out for dinner, there wasn't some amazing spark, but we both liked each other and wanted to meet again. That was three years ago, we moved in together at the start of the pandemic, and now we're buying a house together.