Flaky Men Stories

[anygoodmenoutthere]

I recently went on a date and enjoyed it. Everything seemed to be going well and he said he'd be in touch and we'd see each other again. We had some texts after the date and now he's gone quiet.

Have any of you got any flaky men stories they can share to cheer me up and make me feel it's not just me who seems to encounter this flaky behaviour?

Actually that's flakey, not flakey

It’s one of the constants when you are on dating apps. Happened too many times to remember for me. I called some of them out and then they would tell the truth. Usually they just weren’t ready for anything or they had met someone else. Just wish they would say and not just vaporise and leave you hanging!

Yes! I’ve been on several dates with a guy, thought all was going well, said we’d meet up again, and he has just disappeared on me! It’s just so rude and disrespectful. I’m not sure whether to try and call him out on it or just leave it and save my dignity.

Yes, exactly that. They should say if they don't want to see you again.

@Beebyonthewold - I'd just leave it. Don't let him know he's made you angry. You deserve better.

[quote anygoodmenoutthere]@Beebyonthewold - I'd just leave it. Don't let him know he's made you angry. You deserve better.[/quote]
I think you are right. I don’t know why it has angered/upset me so much! I will leave it and then might give up on the apps for a bit. It seems it is not an uncommon thing and I can’t be bothered with it!

Let him go. I’ve had plenty of flakes, they always aways come back so be prepared and if they’ve flaked once they will flake again.

• going well with a guy had agreed to visit a Christmas market together and hours before he bails saying he has a cold. No follow up but months later he texts me saying he’s been thinking about me and would love to meet for coffee. Nope.
• 2 months worth of dating and then the guy just goes completely ghost on me but again months later, on Christmas Day of all days he texts how are you? Nope.

I had my confidence knocked and was disappointed. I can understand why you felt upset and angry.

@Fruitandnuts - wow what cheeky ghosters. I wonder if mine will come back if he can't find anything better lol.

@Fruitandnuts

Let him go. I’ve had plenty of flakes, they always aways come back so be prepared and if they’ve flaked once they will flake again.

• going well with a guy had agreed to visit a Christmas market together and hours before he bails saying he has a cold. No follow up but months later he texts me saying he’s been thinking about me and would love to meet for coffee. Nope.
• 2 months worth of dating and then the guy just goes completely ghost on me but again months later, on Christmas Day of all days he texts how are you? Nope.

Ugh, that’s horrible! What is wrong with these men.

Everyone I know has had a flaky man who was hot and heavy for the first week and then freaked the F out and went quiet on them. Only to come back a month later. They’re so predictable.

My now DP was full on when we first met, great first date, invited me to meet him for coffee the next day, invited to me to his house for takeaway the day after, then called me to say he needed to talk to me, came round my house and said it was all a bit intense and he needed to take a step back!

FFS I wasn’t the one driving this behaviour, YOU were!

So I did what any self respecting woman would do and burst into tears . Cue him feeling bad, and then jumping right back into the over enthusiastic dating again.

So annoying that memories of our first week are marred by him essentially trying to dump me when he realised he wouldn’t be able to play the field any more. Who needs fucking fields when you have this gorgeous meadow, you fool! Luckily he worked it out shortly afterwards.

I've had amazing conversations with people who just stop. No tailing off. Just stop dead.

It's hard to understand.

Yes you certainly need a thick skin. I do stand by my comment that they ALWAYS come back. Not right away but they will.

They do come back but if you give in and actually meet them, they’ll do it again guaranteed.

Dating apps are horrid things I agree.
It usually fizzles out for me like this

Ahhh so many!

And every single time, they popped back up a while later. Weirdly predictable... these guys are players, that's all. Its hard but you get used to it and over it !

Many years ago I went on a few dates with a guy then heard nothing. A month or so later I'd started seeing someone else and he called me out of the blue.

'Sorry who is this?'
'Jason'
'Erm oh. Ok'
'Where are you?'
'On a date'
He hung up

@cakecakecheese - that's brilliant!

I had ended an u happy relationship to date a guy I thought I really liked/fancied; we went on 4 dates over 2 months and he started talking about how when he moved to his new house we'd be 2 and a half hrs apart and it was too far (he already knew he'd be moving there when we started dating), he then escalated tk saying the relationship wasbt working, had "ran," its course etc. This was by text.

I had huge difficulty in not correcting that to "run" but managed not to do so. Tryed getting him to speak to me, he wouldn't. I sent an email saying anything I'd wanted to say because text was not exactly a good medium for relationship ending discussions.

He contacted me nearly a year later, a year talking aboit having fucked up.

I suspected his two previously single best mates had now gotten into relationships and sk he was now open to one too (in spite spite of the gigantic distance involved)... one of the best mate"s Dads (who i know through a hobby, sane one I met him through) confirmed yes, both guys in steady relationships now.

It really us true about (some,) men being taxis with their lights on or off.

Also I had to.kaugh at the narcissism of him thinking I'd be on ice, available for him nearly a year later.

The teeth grinding bit was when he said I was the one who got away .... nah mate, the one you threw away.

Good for you @cakecakecheese the cheek of these men coming back months later like you'd be pleased to hear from them, waiting around and not moved on, so arrogant of them, argh!

@Allsortsofroses - did you just ignore him when he came back? What a cheek coming back a year later.

[quote anygoodmenoutthere]@Allsortsofroses - did you just ignore him when he came back? What a cheek coming back a year later.

[/quote]
I didnt ignore him.

I told him I was back with my ex.

When he said the one that got away shite, I said he couldnt really have cared/been bothered or he wouldn't have dumped me.

After a bit of back and forward, he went cold/stopped communicating and of course I went along with that.

When I broke up with my partner a while later, I did look him up (fb friend request) , he accepted and I saw he was in a relationship (now married) and that was that.

I suppose I looked him up months later, but i had never flaked on or dumped him, unlike vice versa.

The thing is, with that guy, we'd known each other for months (maybe even years) before we started dating... and so, when I look back in retrospect, i can see some of the reasons he flaked (one big one being that he'd been in a steady, couply relationship for several years and (alongside his single best mates) really just wanted to be single for a while. He had that time ear marked as singleton time before he settled approaching 30. He got involved with ne, but that agenda was always there and he wasn't really invested, or willing to be until (as ot turned out) a year later, when he's had a couple of years of being single and a ready to get into a relationship again (again alongside his mates). Looking back it was obvious in a couple of things he said ... I just didn't pay enough attention or take it seriously enough.

The problem with these old flakers or relatively u known flamers is thst you just don't know. You don't really know anything.
Could be exes on the scene, could be in single mode following heartbreak or disillusionment could be meeting others whom they think, rightly or wrongly, a re a better match, any number of other things. You haven't got the full.picture.

*relatively unknown flakers