Flaky Men Stories

[anygoodmenoutthere]

I recently went on a date and enjoyed it. Everything seemed to be going well and he said he'd be in touch and we'd see each other again. We had some texts after the date and now he's gone quiet.

Have any of you got any flaky men stories they can share to cheer me up and make me feel it's not just me who seems to encounter this flaky behaviour?

Yes there's all sorts of reasons for flakiness.

Came here to say that ghosting/flaking isn't such a new phenomenon. I am 47 and it has always been like that and I have never understood it. Ever since my teens - get a new boyfriend, all loved up, usually very intense from him. Then suddenly, deathly silence and attempts to contact him ignored. Totally baffled, racking brains as to what happened. Few weeks later would happen to see him out and about with another girl. Worst one, boyfriend of 6 months or so (my first "proper" relationship) - I had been on holiday for a couple of weeks, first night back we met in the pub as usual. He seemed a bit distant but didn't say anything. He did seem quite attentive to another girl in the group which made me feel a bit irritated as time went on. Suddenly they got up and left, arms round each other. Apparently, I later established, they had started seeing each other while I was away. He "didn't know how" to tell me so he let me witness that instead!

I was always so confused that someone could go from being so keen, to absolutely nothing overnight. I used to wonder why men said women were so hard to understand because this made no sense at all. It's not pleasant to be dumped but I would much rather someone used their words and I knew what the score was instead of all the wondering WTF.

Been married for donkeys' years and so glad to be out of all that!

@RaisedByPangolins. Yes I think that’s common and not just men. A single mum in her 40s who worked with me was Tinder obsessed— but it became clear to me she actually didn’t want a relationship , she liked the buzz of Tinder- seeing who had swiped her etc— for her it was pure entertainment and gave her something to do at night. I think a lot of people but particularly men like the buzz of it and the thought of actually not being able to be on it actually sends them into a spin

@cakecakecheese

Many years ago I went on a few dates with a guy then heard nothing. A month or so later I'd started seeing someone else and he called me out of the blue.

'Sorry who is this?'
'Jason'
'Erm oh. Ok'
'Where are you?'
'On a date'
He hung up

Ha ha ha! Love it! I had a guy I met on holiday and went to visit treat me appallingly, yet I blamed myself for not being good enough. He arranged to come to see me and didn't turn up. I rang him and he told me Liverpool were playing at home. I felt grateful when he sent me a Christmas card (stupid cow). I got married the following year. But he got back in touch with a long letter asking if he could come and visit me. I was so gratified to write back and tell him I was married. The marriage was a nightmare but I was pleased to tell him I was married.

I went on a (fairly dull) date with a guy. He completely ghosted me afterwards so I deleted his number. Over a year later, I got a message asking "How are you?". I had to ask who it was. Then he asked me out again...I said no.

Then another guy who wasn't interested but I stayed friends with. He ended up going out with someone else for a few months, pics on Facebook, etc. He messaged me too (this was also a year or 2 after a date) claiming he'd been dropping hints all year . Funnily enough pics of his girlfriend had disappeared (presumably they'd split up and he figured he'd call me).

@ValerieCupcake - Good for you! I've blamed myself for not being good enough as well on several occasions

I'm sure women can be just as flakey as men can be.

@Beebyonthewold

Yes! I’ve been on several dates with a guy, thought all was going well, said we’d meet up again, and he has just disappeared on me! It’s just so rude and disrespectful. I’m not sure whether to try and call him out on it or just leave it and save my dignity.

Men like that don’t have the balls to say their not interested in seeing you again. Says alot about them really. You’v had a lucky escape. Your your better off leave him to it.

[quote anygoodmenoutthere]@ValerieCupcake - Good for you! I've blamed myself for not being good enough as well on several occasions

I'm sure women can be just as flakey as men can be.[/quote]
The issue is he was’t good enough for you. 🤣. Never put yourself down. Personally If I did’t want another date I was upfront about it no flakyness but thats me. However there probably are women flaky enough to.

Absolutely right he wasn't good enough for @ValerieCupcake

I think sometimes we can't help but question ourselves in these situations at the time of them happening. Well, I often do and then when I look back I think what a flakey twat.

I was chatting to a guy from an online site a few years ago. Has been messaging/calling/facetiming etc but not met in person yet. He went completely off the radar for 5 days, then back as if nothing happened. OK....
Met up a couple of times, still the same messaging/calling/facetiming etc for about a month, then off the radar again.

Next thing I get a phone call from the Police, he's been arrested for online dating fraud and when he went awol the first time it was because they'd seized all his devices after raiding his home.

He got 7 years, fairly sure I'm not gonna hear from him again

@Fuuuuuckit - great username by the way. You had a lucky escape!