I left my H a while ago for many reasons. One being I realised after 6 years that he was a narcissist. He had also coercive controlled me.
Comes from a terrible childhood which I urged him to get help for which was always a flat NO.
Despite him treating me terribly, I still care for him a great deal although I never imagined myself going back to him.
Over the weekend, he sent me a long message and told me he had accepted he needed help to change and to deal with trauma from the past. He asked me to find him a good therapist. And I have. And he is booked in for weekly sessions. Over the weekend I saw him cry...and I mean really cry.
He hasn't asked me to return home but he has said he is willing to do whatever it takes to make our marriage work.
I am remaining strong, not giving anything away.
So my question is, with therapy, could he really change? Anyone experienced this?
I am still almost certain our marriage is over but I can't help thinking how it could of been if he were different. Though ultimately the damage is done and it would take such a lot for me to go back, I don't think I would ever feel comfortable.
I also feel it will be a long road for him, I would happily support him in his journey but from a distance.
Im just interested in other peoples experiences or thoughts?
I never imagined to ever get to the stage where he would do therapy. The therapist I found for him sounded absolutely great but said H must make the first move and gave me the email address or phone number.
I didn't expect H would do either, maybe email....but he rang and made the call, spoke to the therapist and had booked three weekly appointments.
This is something I've been trying to get him to do for 6 years. It's just a shame our marriage had to end to get to this point.
I'm very aware he may just be doing this to get me back but I'm trying to see the positive in that he may change.
Opinions welcome