At what age did you finally give up on making your parents proud?

[malificent7]

I am 43. Just qualified in a degree...got a 1st. In my 1st year i got a very high mark in exam.Dad said its because the exam is too easy. And yet i still want to make him proud...why? It has rested in me doing things that arent suited to me.

Well done on getting a first
My parents only started to become proud of me in my 20’s, I was pretty much ignored til then. I just got on with things. They put far too much of their energy in db who went to uni.
I just don’t care if they’re proud of me or not, they’ve tried stopping me from doing things in the past and I’ve gone against their advice and carried on. I’d say my judgement was better than theirs.

Funnily enough, my mother became prouder of me once I stopped trying to please her and started being true to myself instead (as much as you can be at that age, of course; obviously I had the usual quest for identity etc).

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

People respect people who are honest about who they are. Perhaps they don't LIKE you , or want to associate with you, but they will respect that you're being honest and not trying to fool anyone.

That's why people don't tend to like "people pleasers", even if they are prepared to use them.

I would’ve seriously concerned if my DDs were doing anything just to make me proud of them.
I am proud of them, there are very few scenarios I can think of where I wouldn’t be proud of them and they all involve them being cruel to animals or other people.

In my teens. Somehow it just clicked that it was impossible and I was miserable anyways, so why not do whatever the fuck I wanted/needed and be slightly less miserable at least for a while.

She told me at some point in my early 30's she's proud of me (something to do with me being a good mum or something) but it left me cold. I would've killed for those words as a kid. Of course being proud of one thing doesn't stop her to reiterate all the other that are wrong with me,my life,my actions,me behaviours so it's pointless anyways.