Why is he horrible when it's me

[Saltandpepper8]

My boyfriend has depression and hasn't had the best life in places. Overall he's got plenty I like about him and holds himself really well. He has his moments or days when he is down and can only think of how he feels. I always do my best to be there and help him. Give him space but love him. It's hard because he can switch from being allover me with support and loving to irritated and wont speak to me. I'm aware that nobody should put up with this stuff.

I'd say I'm the strong one. The together one mostly. But I'm human and occasionally I have a bad day or his moods will make me ask him questions about us. I sometimes feel like I'm irritating the life out of him. He gets really snappy at me if I'm sad or wobbly.

I am not feeling well this last couple of days. I feel terrible with anemia and yesterday being in bed all day I ended up having an extremely heavy bleed due to transexamic acid messing up my body. He is self employed and hasn't worked for 2 months due to his depression and our relationship has been very indoors and I think I was feeling abit worried yesterday. Felt like we needed out more. Needed more fun. I asked him a couple of questions about us at the moment because it feels like we could do with a change of scenery. We don't live together and we should be in the honeymoon stage really.

I knew I had annoyed him with my messages yesterday..I said to him that whilst their are a ton of photos of him and his exes adventures on Facebook I've realised there's nothing of us on there and I worry we should be doing more. This resulted in him being off with me. I was really bad in the night and messaged him to say if it didn't settle I'd call 111. He sent me a heart back and no message. When I woke this morning he was on Facebook but no reply. So I told him today I was upset he hadn't bothered to say are you OK. He told me his eyes were blurred and he didn't read the message but sent the heart so I didn't accuse him of ignoring him and call him straight away. This is behaviour I never use! I never call him if he doesn't instantly reply unless we bicker and its obvious that messages are getting misread.

I've just called him though to try smooth it over and he's just being cold towards me and saying hot headed things he doesn't mean. All i wanted was some comfort from him. I explained to him that I was feeling awful and a little scared in the night. He said hardly anything and I said I guess I should go. He said OK I'll speak to you later in a grumpy voice. So I said that this is making me feel even worse as normally we say we love eachother and bye. He told me to leave him to chill and hung up.

I've realised this is the 3rd or 4th time he's done this and its always if I'm not on top form. Which is so rare.

Do you think his depression makes him struggle with this or is he just being an arsehole?

Have some self respect OP and dump the chump. He doesnt give a shit

I agree with you OP, you deserve better.

And his lorry story is BS BTW. If his stationary vehicle was hit by a lorry then HIS insurers would pay and reclaim the money from the lorry drivers insurance.

Whether or not the lorry was supposed to be there is a matter between that driver and his insurers. It doesn’t affect your BF getting his money.

I think it's time to break it off as there's no signs of these things improving.

Well done.
I hope you text "Mr 'Nice'" back, calling out his bullshit. How is it "looking after you" to make you walk 6 miles, because he can't be arsed to? How does he imagine you'd cope, what with the bleeding you've just experienced?

He's an absolute shit! Dump him by text, it's all he deserves xx

He turned into Mr nice again last night. Told me I was the world to him and that he wanted me to go around today and look after me. Although honestly don't think I should go anywhere as its 3 miles I'm a taxi or on foot and I really don't feel great still. Then tomorrow morning I'd need to be up to take the kids to school really early and I don't think I can do that whilst so exhausted.

If he was "Mr Nice", he wouldn't expect you to drag yourself out when you're unwell. He'd come to you (or if there are reasons you don't have him over to your place), he'd do something like drop off a care-package or offer to do something practical for you.

If his version of 'mr nice' is asking you to walk three miles to him while you're ill so he can be nice to you at his convenience... he's a prick OP.

That would be what a normal, actually nice bloke would suggest on a bad day. Well, they wouldn't suggest it at all, but you get my point.

He's horrible. He's selfish. He's not a suitable long term partner.

You can't love someone enough to make them match your level of love. Learned that the hard way!

You've got kids. Don't show them that this is what a relationship looks like. It shouldn't.

I met a really nice chap on hinge
Really liked him

Revealed he suffered from the black dog

I didn’t see him again

Why? No way am I introducing this In to my children’s lives

@Oftenithinkaboutit

I don’t give a dog about your situation

But don’t even think about ever calling 111 for this kind of nonsense

* I was really bad in the night and messaged him to say if it didn't settle I'd call 111.*

That's so nasty and unnecessary

Hi op - do you take your children with you when you see him - he’s not healthy. He’s entitled and you’ve had some good responses.
He is a loser.
His problem.
Not yours to fix.

Mental health issues and being an arsehole aren't mutually exclusive, he can be both