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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband never wants to go anywhere

39 replies

Sam808 · 18/11/2021 16:08

Hello all I saw this same conversation but it’s from a year ago and just wondered where you’re all at now? I have this exact same issue and it’s driving me nuts, the pandemic has made my homebody husband even worse. 🙈

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 18/11/2021 16:10

If he won't go, you go without him. If you're unhappy in the marriage, then you have some thinking to do.

girlmom21 · 18/11/2021 16:14

What happens if you just book tickets? Will he refuse to come?

GentlemanJayFab · 18/11/2021 16:19

I had the same problem with my ex. I divorced her. The last six years I've done all sorts of things. I've got loads of new friends. People I can have a day out with.

Firenight · 18/11/2021 16:21

Mine will go out if I organise everything otherwise nothing and often even not if its booked or planned anyway. I just go out without him a lot of the time.

MooncakeandAvocato · 18/11/2021 16:23

Go without him?

Anordinarymum · 18/11/2021 16:28

@Sam808

Hello all I saw this same conversation but it’s from a year ago and just wondered where you’re all at now? I have this exact same issue and it’s driving me nuts, the pandemic has made my homebody husband even worse. 🙈
MY guy works long hours. He travels a distance to get there and home each day. He has COPD so is always tired anyway. He will happily do nothing in the evenings and especially at the weekend but realises it's not ideal when he is one half of a couple. He will happily go along with anything I arrange, but I always have to do the arranging. It's understood.
Original poster
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 16:55

well he’s a lovely man and I do love him but jeezo this ain’t right lol. I like dinner at home and a film but every SINGLE night? 😩

OP posts:
MooncakeandAvocato · 18/11/2021 16:56

It won’t be every single night if you go out without him a couple of times a week. So…

Original poster
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 17:02

@girlmom21 yes he probably wouldn’t come. We moved to a new area a few years ago @MooncakeandAvocado so still don’t know many people otherwise I would. It’s a very strange situation I’m in atm and feeling quite lonely. 😕

OP posts:
Original poster
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 17:04

sorry I’m new to mumsnet and not really sure how it works yet…can’t seem to reply to individual messages…

OP posts:
Leftbutcameback · 18/11/2021 17:07

Mine doesn’t want to do anything except cycle and drink beer (sometimes at the same time). I don’t really like either! I used to be good at arranging days out or short breaks, and he would come along but have really got out of the habit and fed up of doing all the work. But if I don’t bother he definitely won’t.

Original poster
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 17:11

@GentlemanJayFab I hope I don’t have to get to that stage but good for you.
@Anordinarymum yes you’re right I definitely need to get organising!

OP posts:
Anordinarymum · 18/11/2021 17:13

[quote Sam808]@GentlemanJayFab I hope I don’t have to get to that stage but good for you.
@Anordinarymum yes you’re right I definitely need to get organising![/quote]
Its easy - you just 'click' on 'Quote' !

GentlemanJayFab · 18/11/2021 17:33

After my marriage ended and I started dating, the one thing I loved was new partners who were as exited as me to do nice new things.

They even did the bookings on occasions and the organising. After 30 years of doing all that, it was a revelation.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 18/11/2021 17:42

Go out with your girlfriends - you can't get everything you need from one man.

Original poster
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 17:42

@Leftbutcameback cycling and drinking beer…sometimes at the same time…too funny lol 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 17:45

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Go out with your girlfriends - you can't get everything you need from one man.
I’m a firm believer in this but really don’t have any here yet being here a short time (pandemic hasn’t helped this at all).
OP posts:
Original poster
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 17:46

@GentlemanJayFab

After my marriage ended and I started dating, the one thing I loved was new partners who were as exited as me to do nice new things.

They even did the bookings on occasions and the organising. After 30 years of doing all that, it was a revelation.

OK many thanks. 🙂 I’m sure it must have been yes. Variety is the spice of life!
OP posts:
Original poster
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 17:48

@GentlemanJayFab

After my marriage ended and I started dating, the one thing I loved was new partners who were as exited as me to do nice new things.

They even did the bookings on occasions and the organising. After 30 years of doing all that, it was a revelation.

Ah sorry it was you who told me about hitting quote not GentlemanJay haha thank you. 🙂
OP posts:
Leftbutcameback · 18/11/2021 17:50

@Sam808 tbf it's usually at a brewery he's cycled to rather than actually on the bike! Wink

Original poster
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 17:51

[quote Leftbutcameback]@Sam808 tbf it's usually at a brewery he's cycled to rather than actually on the bike! Wink[/quote]
🤣🤣

OP posts:
Leftbutcameback · 18/11/2021 18:12

I just said to him we didn't seem to go anywhere anymore. He said - you don't but I do. I pointed out it was just drinking and he said he was happy with that Hmm

I need to find some more stuff to do, especially on Fridays and Sundays

MooncakeandAvocato · 18/11/2021 18:16

Ah, I see! That’s a pickle. Are there any clubs or things you could join locally?

nocnoc · 18/11/2021 18:21

Sign up to meet up and go out in your area with friends

Ieatmarmite · 18/11/2021 18:24

My OH only wants to go to the gigs of bands that he likes. I like some of those bands too, but not all of them. There are some that I like but he doesn't & we never go & see them. We never eat out, go to the cinema etc. If I suggest going somewhere- this weekend I suggested going to Coventry for some of the city of culture stuff, and he didn't reply which I take to mean "No, I don't want to".