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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband never wants to go anywhere

39 replies

Sam808 · 18/11/2021 16:08

Hello all I saw this same conversation but it’s from a year ago and just wondered where you’re all at now? I have this exact same issue and it’s driving me nuts, the pandemic has made my homebody husband even worse. 🙈

OP posts:
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 18:27

@Leftbutcameback

I just said to him we didn't seem to go anywhere anymore. He said - you don't but I do. I pointed out it was just drinking and he said he was happy with that Hmm

I need to find some more stuff to do, especially on Fridays and Sundays

I definitely need some more stuff to do. Namely Monday through to Sunday. 🤣🤣
OP posts:
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 18:29

@Ieatmarmite

My OH only wants to go to the gigs of bands that he likes. I like some of those bands too, but not all of them. There are some that I like but he doesn't & we never go & see them. We never eat out, go to the cinema etc. If I suggest going somewhere- this weekend I suggested going to Coventry for some of the city of culture stuff, and he didn't reply which I take to mean "No, I don't want to".
It has to be balanced doesn’t it? I could only dream of mine wanting to go to gigs. Eating out is ok though he’ll do that.
OP posts:
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 18:31

@nocnoc

Sign up to meet up and go out in your area with friends
I know I definitely need to be more proactive in meeting people. (New to the area).
OP posts:
Sam808 · 18/11/2021 18:33

@MooncakeandAvocato

Ah, I see! That’s a pickle. Are there any clubs or things you could join locally?
I know isn’t it? Well everything came to a very abrupt halt but guess opening up a bit more now. Must be more proactive!
OP posts:
Ieatmarmite · 18/11/2021 18:34

It's quite difficult to go and do somethings on your own though.

Sam808 · 18/11/2021 18:38

@Ieatmarmite

It's quite difficult to go and do somethings on your own though.
I know. Hence the reason I’ve just been staying in but it’s really not me. Not all the time. 🙈Fair do’s on wintry nights but hell you need to get out and about esp with girlfriends.
OP posts:
Whatwouldscullydo · 18/11/2021 18:38

Mine never seemed to want to go anywhere either.

On the odd occasion he did , by the time he'd made it clear we were all in his way whilst he was getting ready and leaving leaving til the last minute I always just wished I hadn't bothered waiting for him. I dunno there always seems to he a condition/cost to dragging him along on family life.

When I learnt to drive but still opted to get the bus/train sometimes it seemed to provide the ultimate excuse and he refused to come if I didn't drive ( I hate driving and we have a really good bus/train service and I always enjoyed the chance to interact with the kids on the journey in a way u just cant do in a car and make a day of it with the train etc

I did go out without him.sometimes.

We split up nearly a yr ago . Amongst other things not going out and doing anything with the kids was a big factor. What's the point if u don't share the load. All he ever used ti do was send me cash I didn't need and didn't ask fir ajd I was the one who had to do the shoe shopping, the taking too and from stuff, the clothes shopping etc

The only place he ever went was to his friends house and occasionally the pub with work.collegues. he could manage that of course Hmm

I think we went to the cinema a couple of times .

Course now my work.hlurs are all fitted around the kids and around his working patterns so I can't really go out and when I am free it's during the day ajd everyone i know locally is at work.

Fun times.

Still better than living with a miserable partner who never wants to do anything though.

Sam808 · 18/11/2021 18:44

@Whatwouldscullydo

Mine never seemed to want to go anywhere either.

On the odd occasion he did , by the time he'd made it clear we were all in his way whilst he was getting ready and leaving leaving til the last minute I always just wished I hadn't bothered waiting for him. I dunno there always seems to he a condition/cost to dragging him along on family life.

When I learnt to drive but still opted to get the bus/train sometimes it seemed to provide the ultimate excuse and he refused to come if I didn't drive ( I hate driving and we have a really good bus/train service and I always enjoyed the chance to interact with the kids on the journey in a way u just cant do in a car and make a day of it with the train etc

I did go out without him.sometimes.

We split up nearly a yr ago . Amongst other things not going out and doing anything with the kids was a big factor. What's the point if u don't share the load. All he ever used ti do was send me cash I didn't need and didn't ask fir ajd I was the one who had to do the shoe shopping, the taking too and from stuff, the clothes shopping etc

The only place he ever went was to his friends house and occasionally the pub with work.collegues. he could manage that of course Hmm

I think we went to the cinema a couple of times .

Course now my work.hlurs are all fitted around the kids and around his working patterns so I can't really go out and when I am free it's during the day ajd everyone i know locally is at work.

Fun times.

Still better than living with a miserable partner who never wants to do anything though.

These are strange times for sure. It’s a shame you split up but sometimes there’s no other option. Well this is the thing, my partner isn’t miserable at all. He’s great! I’d just like him to be great with other people too, he’s perfectly happy to have no one else in our lives! 🙈
OP posts:
Whatwouldscullydo · 18/11/2021 18:56

How is he with other people though?

Sometimes I swear mine was just embracing ti avid ne ever asking him to come along again.

Dies he ever seee any of his friends ? Does he have any?

Sam808 · 18/11/2021 19:18

@Whatwouldscullydo

How is he with other people though?

Sometimes I swear mine was just embracing ti avid ne ever asking him to come along again.

Dies he ever seee any of his friends ? Does he have any?

He’s great with other people. Well, ones he likes lol. We’ve only been to this area a few years, he has colleagues not so much friends.
OP posts:
LionelMessy · 18/11/2021 20:03

Sam808 - you do not need re-quote every post.
You can type a reply in box near foot of each page.

OP go join a group. Even things you not sure you like. I joined a jog club when i had never ran in my life before, but it was all people who just wanted get out the house a couple of hours!

Take up a new hobby.
Join weightwatchers even just to get out to meet local people.

Sam808 · 18/11/2021 20:09

ok thx @LionelMessy, I know I should really explore all the options, it’s only recently I’ve been feeling in a rut.

Many thanks to all that responded. 🥰

OP posts:
FinallyFluid · 19/11/2021 12:37

I am married to his brother. Grin

Sam808 · 19/11/2021 13:39

I think there’s a fair few of them out there! They spend so much time on the sofa they start to morph into it. 🤣

OP posts:
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