Stay at Home Mums - Money from Husband

[mailpal]

We have joint account, I can and do use freely for what I Dear Son need..

Food shops, petrol, stuff for both of us etc.,

But I don't have any personal income/savings at all and no pension!

I've been a SAHM for 3.5 years now and am fully reliant on DH..

Not ideal at all I know this!

My husband is well off himself (he has multiple accounts/savings/investments/pension..

My question, do I get personal money from him and a pension? We have agreed I will work when my son goes FT at nursery, a year away (it works for us for now)

Any advice??

He should pay your pension contributions until you go back to work. You took the career hit and shouldn't lose out on any pension because of it.

I have a sole account and have set up a standing order from the joint account. Dh affectionately calls it my running away fund . I also have an ISA funded from the joint account.

You're married so, in terms of assets, what's his is yours.
Your personal money comes from the joint account. You should both have equal 'personal money' after bills etc paid.

His savings also belong to you. However they should really be in joint names. There is no need to make an issue out of this. Perhaps raise it when you return to work and start contributing toward savings. All savings should be accessible to both. Or, if this doesn't work for some reason, an equal amount should be accessible to both.
When you return to work you can join your employers pension scheme.

Please tell me you're claiming child benefit to get your NIC credits?

@IncompleteSenten

He should pay your pension contributions until you go back to work. You took the career hit and shouldn't lose out on any pension because of it.

And this. Why hasn't he?

You need to get a job ASAP. Relying on a man who hasn't put anything in your name makes you extremely vulnerable.

I'm in a similar position (except I do have a small pension and savings that came from inheritance from my DM) and as well as having access to the joint account for things like food, anything DD needs, days out, etc, he also "pays me" £500 pcm.
This is my money to spend how I wish and goes on birthday gifts I have to buy, my phone and dentist payments, any meals or drinks when I go out with friends, etc

I also claim the child benefit (this goes into DD's savings) and it covers my NI contributions.

However you organise it, make sure

• you get your own bank account even if it has minimal in it
• your own credit card, spend a small amount on it and automatically pay it back. So you have a credit history of your own.

If you haven't been claiming child benefit then seriously (and urgently) consider making voluntary Class 3 NIC payments for the missing years before the deadline to do so passes.

Me personally, if being a stay at home parent was a personal choice (not a financial necessity), I wouldn’t expect Dh to pay into my pension or a personal savings pot. I would expect him to cover all joint and individual expenses and to be putting money into joint savings. I think savings and pension are important, but I think if it was important to me, I’d work and pay in myself, which should be possible if your Dh is earning well. I just think I’d be a bit annoyed if Dh didn’t work (out of choice), but expected me to save and invest personally on his behalf. If he could work, I think it would be better if he did rather than relying on me.

Definitely make sure you are claiming child benefit even if it is just the NI contribution!

You can also claim child benefit but opt out of payment and you still get the NI credits

Can you not buy personal things from that account, ie. hair cut, frivolous purchases? You treat it like your acc if not working.
Also do you claim child benefit to keep your state pension points?

Pension contributions for you are much more tax efficient than him saving. All savings should be considered joint.

Do you know how much he has?

I have only recently applied to get my NI credits...

I will discuss with him that I get £500 paid into own account from our joint account to be my personal money.

I would look to pay into a private pension with that money..

I've never had a career so to speak, I've had jobs - but never developed a career of my own. We met when I was 17 and have been together 17 years, married for 6.

I will go to work but likelihood is I won't earn very much at all so may look to train to get a higher income

So I should request he set up and pay into a pension pot for me...?

@mailpal

So I should request he set up and pay into a pension pot for me...?

Have a look at stakeholder pensions. The Government tops up your contributions as well. You do not have to be working. All SAHPs should do this.

Thank you for this information x

Yes request for him to pay into your pension pot. We plan to do that for my husband who stays home once we finish saving for our down-payment.

We pay into my pension fund each year.

He can pay into your pension that’s what my DH does. This is actually safer for both of you in the sad event you split as you will have a pension and he will know that the pension he believes is his won’t be taken or lessened.

When you say “personal money” what exactly do you mean? Like he should be paying you on salary to be his wife? Or money you can put away in case you want to leave him? Or just for personal wants?

I know I have a seperate account that is just for “me” spending that a certain amount is payed into and it makes all that stuff a lot easier. Everything else is payed out of a joint account.

Tbh I’m a little confused by your post - what exactly is it you want in addition to your joint account and why? It seems like you are planning to leave your husband and want to get financials in order so you can support yourself on them while you train?

He should be contributing yes. The only way to ensure you have a pension being paid into (he has no legal obligation to) is to work though. Worth pointing out the amount he is saving not having them in childcare.

It’s in both your financial interests to have some savings in your name, not just his. You, after all, don’t pay tax on them. And, despite not paying tax, £2,880 per year paid into a personal or stakeholder pension gets tax relief from HMRC even if you don’t work, so actually amounts to £3,600 per year going into your pension. Amounts above that would not get tax relief unless you are earning your own income.