I feel awful about how I feel towards my step daughter when she's around. My husband has three kids and i have two. His older children are lovely and get on really well with them, his youngest (around the same age as mine) is treated very differently by him. She is a nice girl most of the time, it's more about how he is with her. He has made it very clear to me that she is more important and it's clear that her feelings are considered more than mine. He hasn't said it in a while but he used to say that if she didn't feel welcome in my home that he would leave. One time this comment come after a conversation about her having nits for the 100th time that month, I wasn't happy because my daughter had very long think hair and an absolute nightmare to treat. But because my reaction upset her it promped him to say what he did. I have never not made her feel welcome and always made an effort to include her. He's very strict with my children (thankfully, they don't always see it that way). He gets at them all the time for not doing things, thats my job haha. I know this is supporting me because they are very forgetful and need constant reminding to do the same simplest job everyday....anyway. I just feel this has got worse and he has stopped having fun with them. He fuses over her when shes here, offers her food, drink, sweets which is fine, but he doesn't offer my two who are sat right there. He doesn't tell her off for the same things he would tell my two off for. She's rude to my children and speaks down to them often and he never pulls her up on it. I have made comments here and there but he is very defensive over her and it courses arguments. He also insists that we do things like activities and days out when shes here, even if we can't afford it. But he shows little to no interest in doing things with me and mine when shes not here. On the odd occasion where we have played a board game or something hes not as engaged. I used to have routines for my children before he moved in like strict bed time and no treats in the week (mainly because they were getting greedy). But this didnt apply to her when she was here and of course my children questioned the special treatment, so i gave in and I kick myself for it. Recently i have started a new job which means the only days off we have together now falls on a weekend which means we always share them with the kids. I love the time with the kids but when we go on days out or simply to the shops she is constantly attached to him and makes me not want to hold his hand anymore. He doesn't encourage her to go and look around and explore. Is it bad that I want his attention and want him to hold just my hand sometimes? I understand that he feels bad that he and his ex split when she was very little and wants to spoiler her when he sees her but he can't see that it's wrong and what it's doing to us. I've been feeling really down about this for a while now and don't know how to approach him about this without it errupting. I'm important too!