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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can a person change?

53 replies

mamagggg · 08/11/2021 19:10

My ex admittedly used me. Told me he loved me, moved in and then all of a sudden took it all back and said it wasn't true and moved back home. He blocked me after on/off talking and then Unblocked me after almost a month or two and did it again cause I was stupid enough to forgive him. There's been other situations, him seeing his ex in secret as a mate, him disrespecting me c, snapping at people in front of me, snapping at me... However since then we've been on/ off speaking, on/ off blocking each other. we've given it some time and spoke lots about and we're back together. He said although we're official he doesn't see himself loving me anytime soon. He's being really sweet and I love it. But I defo have more feelings for him and I'm worried it'll turn sour again. Also yes I have a kid but she has been and will remain to be kept out of it, since he moved out.

OP posts:
Shitapillar · 08/11/2021 19:17

Sometimes I read a post like this and I just want to facepalm.

KintsugiForever · 08/11/2021 19:21

No, he isn't going to change, to answer your question. He's already said he doesn't love you, he treated you terribly. That's all you need to know.

Shoxfordian · 08/11/2021 19:21

What’s sweet about saying he isn’t going to love you anytime soon? He sounds like a loser

RubyTuesday70 · 08/11/2021 19:23

Are you a teenager OP?

If you're not, this sounds tragic.

TheQuest · 08/11/2021 19:24

He won’t change.

Penguinsmum · 08/11/2021 19:27

Dont you ....and your daughter... deserve better?

ILoveShula · 08/11/2021 19:27

Bin him

MadMadMadamMim · 08/11/2021 19:28

Sweet?

He's a complete wanker. Wise up and dump him.

And raise your bar a hell of a lot higher.

Dora26 · 08/11/2021 19:28

RFTH

jelly79 · 08/11/2021 19:30

Take control of this and bin him before he breaks your heart. Again.

He is dangling hope and making you work for it before he snatches it away.

FatCatThinCat · 08/11/2021 19:32

No people don't change and this 'relationship' is a car crash. You deserve so much better than a man who treats you like shit and appears to be rather pleased with himself at telling you he'll never love you.

Opentooffers · 08/11/2021 19:37

Aw sweet the way he plays you and his ex off against each other, while probably telling both of you that he doesn't love you - he's right there, he's using both of you. I think it would be wise for you to get STI check, I'd bet my bottom dollar it's not just ' friends'.
But hey, you just carry on letting him do whatever, and getting those feelings, be a doormat if you like. He treats you as you allow him to and around you'll go again.

bubbleblower85 · 08/11/2021 19:42

He doesn't see himself loving you anytime soon WTH is that!!!

Please read this sentence back to yourself and ask why this arsehole is worth your time and energy!!

Don't be a pick me person and fuel his overinflated ego.

Eltonsglasses · 08/11/2021 19:43

He said although we're official he doesn't see himself loving me anytime soon. He's being really sweet and I love it.

If you could explain what part of that is sweet?

torquewench · 08/11/2021 19:50

What do you want him to change into? A decent human being? A halfway decent one? A non-using non-dickhead?

You need to send him back and exchange him for someone else. Far easier than expecting him to change (spoiler: he won't change).

JudgementalCactus · 08/11/2021 20:01

@Shitapillar

Sometimes I read a post like this and I just want to facepalm.
That about sums it up!
Unanananana · 08/11/2021 20:11

Does he have a glittery, revolving cock? Because I cannot see any other reason you would want this cunt back.

BuddhaAtSea · 08/11/2021 20:18

@Unanananana

Does he have a glittery, revolving cock? Because I cannot see any other reason you would want this cunt back.
😂😂😂
nocnoc · 08/11/2021 20:22

Why would you put yourself through this?

IAAP · 08/11/2021 20:24

@KintsugiForever

No, he isn't going to change, to answer your question. He's already said he doesn't love you, he treated you terribly. That's all you need to know.
Exactly. Judge someone by how they behave and past actions and not by what they promise. FFS my ex told me he loved and respected me and we were equal as he emptied the joint account, hit me and got a solicitor I was blind I thought I believed him and that he was just ‘protecting himself’ yeah sure emptying the joint bank was him protecting ‘us’ - no it was him being a selfish thief and me trying to believe I was smelling roses and not the manure under my nose.
freeatlast2021 · 08/11/2021 20:28

@Shitapillar

Sometimes I read a post like this and I just want to facepalm.
Same lol. Confused
fancyfrogs · 08/11/2021 20:31

I think some people can change. But definitely not this dickhead

NotExactlyOptimistic · 08/11/2021 20:33

@Dora26

RFTH
What does this stand for? Really fucking something presumably!
sunnyzweibrucken · 08/11/2021 20:40

Some people can and some can't. but this guy...nope

litterbird · 08/11/2021 20:43

OP you really need to re read your post. I have face palmed and can’t believe you actually want to stay with him. What must your friends and family think?

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