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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Nouning adjectives - dehumanising? TW

37 replies

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 07/11/2021 06:01

Tw for poss hate speech

Is it a bad sign when someone refers to other people this way? Examples:
"You are a lol"
"she is a cute!"
"He is a mental"
"she is a fat"
"he is a spurge" (aspergers)
"he is a sexy"

I've never heard this person using racist words, but I feel like

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 07/11/2021 06:04

Posted too soon sorry!

I feel this type of language is very objectifying. Compare
"he is Jewish"
To
"he's a Jew"

Does it feel different? Does it matter or is it just a difference in the way people express themselves?

OP posts:
ThirdElephant · 07/11/2021 06:04

That would drive me potty. I'd have to ask whether they were missing a noun or adding an unnecessary determiner.

rrhuth · 07/11/2021 06:09

Who is doing this?

It is awful, imo it does matter.

rrhuth · 07/11/2021 06:10

Not al the examples are the same btw - you can't compare 'a cute' with 'a spurge' for example, clearly one is more offensive.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 07/11/2021 06:15

@rrhuth

Not al the examples are the same btw - you can't compare 'a cute' with 'a spurge' for example, clearly one is more offensive.
I agree that one is more openly offensive than the other, no doubt about that. I wanted to demonstrate that its a pattern of behaviour/speech.
OP posts:
rrhuth · 07/11/2021 06:16

I wouldn't personally care about the pattern if it wasn't offensive/unpleasant.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 07/11/2021 06:21

@ThirdElephant

That would drive me potty. I'd have to ask whether they were missing a noun or adding an unnecessary determiner.
I have been known to shout "STOP VERBING NOUNS!" before 😒
OP posts:
rrhuth · 07/11/2021 06:24

Who is it?

Because I wouldn't want to be around someone who said 'a fat' 'a mental' or 'a spurge'.
I feel you're missing the point - the real issue is not the grammar.

WarmthAndDepth · 07/11/2021 06:33

I think it points to a disturbing character trait which somehow refuses personhood, and replaces it with an attribute; they're all offensive, as he's literally defining a person by an adjective assigned according to his own perception. Bizarre.

HunkyPunk · 07/11/2021 06:34

is it just a difference in the way people express themselves?

I’ve never come across this way of speaking before. This person sounds like an odd, and an unpleasant. Individual.

ThirdElephant · 07/11/2021 06:35

@rrhuth

Who is it?

Because I wouldn't want to be around someone who said 'a fat' 'a mental' or 'a spurge'.
I feel you're missing the point - the real issue is not the grammar.

'A fat' sounds like they've wanted to use a curseword and changed their mind halfway through.
LynetteScavo · 07/11/2021 06:52

I've never actually heard someone do this.

I would go insane if one of my teen DC spoke like this (please don't tell me this is a trend that's coming in) , and lose a lot of respect for someone who I heard talking like this.

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 07/11/2021 07:05

@rrhuth

Who is it?

Because I wouldn't want to be around someone who said 'a fat' 'a mental' or 'a spurge'.
I feel you're missing the point - the real issue is not the grammar.

I think you're missing the point — the grammar contributes to the effect. To take one of the less offensive examples, "he is a sexy" feels much more essentialising than "he is sexy". It feels like they're saying that the person is a distillation of the concept of sexy, rather than sexy being just one of their attributes. It makes something that could be a compliment feel like a comprehensive judgement. With something that's unequivocally insulting, it strengthens the effect of the insult. You're not just fat, you're "a fat" — it defines you.

Also the person talks like a twat and it would annoy me to the point of quivering.

rrhuth · 07/11/2021 07:12

@ClumpingBambooIsALie

The reason I think the op is missing the point is they stated they had shouted 'stop verbing nouns' which is a grammatical point, rather than addressing the fact the speaker is being unpleasant/offensive.

I understand how using 'a cute' is different to just 'cute'.

Bionicname · 07/11/2021 07:19

Is English the person’s first language?

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 07/11/2021 07:41

[quote rrhuth]@ClumpingBambooIsALie

The reason I think the op is missing the point is they stated they had shouted 'stop verbing nouns' which is a grammatical point, rather than addressing the fact the speaker is being unpleasant/offensive.

I understand how using 'a cute' is different to just 'cute'.[/quote]
I didn't read that post as necessarily meaning that that's what she said to the person described in the OP… besides which, it's clear that OP is asking whether others think the unusual grammar affects the perceived offensiveness. A thread about OP telling off a friend for being insulting would be boring, so she's posted about an interesting nuance of the use of different parts of speech. I don't think she's missed any point — suspect OP knows insults are offensive.

WarmthAndDepth · 07/11/2021 08:43

I wonder what a Speech and Language Therapist would make of it? Anomalies such as these can be indicative of cognitive impairment or, if a sudden change, pathology; DF developed strange, but consistent, patterns of speech after brain surgery.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 07/11/2021 09:37

Thank you @ClumpingBambooIsALie you have exactly understood what I was clumsily trying to say.

Reducing someone to being "a thing" feels like being part of a narrative. As if I, and others, are simply plot devices, rather than human beings with our own emotional needs and individual characteristics.

OP posts:
BobbinThreadbare123 · 07/11/2021 09:39

As a "spurge" myself I would not thank that person for referring to me like that. They might find my response "a pain".

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 07/11/2021 09:45

@WarmthAndDepth

I wonder what a Speech and Language Therapist would make of it? Anomalies such as these can be indicative of cognitive impairment or, if a sudden change, pathology; DF developed strange, but consistent, patterns of speech after brain surgery.
In this case its definitely not an organic issue. Its a pattern that's been increasing over a period of about 10 years
OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 07/11/2021 10:10

@BobbinThreadbare123

As a "spurge" myself I would not thank that person for referring to me like that. They might find my response "a pain".
You will probably not be surprised that this person is doing armchair diagnosis and has no clinical experience of any kind. Just decided that various people are "spurge" based on her interactions with them.
OP posts:
Hen2018 · 07/11/2021 10:19

Do you think they might have dementia?

HunkyPunk · 07/11/2021 10:22

Could this be a late teen/twenty-something who is now deliberately winding you(?) up by using language and lack of grammar that they know you don’t like? As this is posted in Relationships, I’m assuming it’s someone close, with whom you have a…tricky relationship? Could be completely wrong, obviously, but if it’s the case, it would give this some context.

lentilsforever · 07/11/2021 10:27

What a bizarre set of examples

Some utterly harmless
Some profoundly offensive

lentilsforever · 07/11/2021 10:30

Op

Is your issue with grammar
Or the actual content

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