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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Groped by my best friends husband

62 replies

Crystaltips · 12/11/2004 21:28

I cannot believe that this happened.
It was about a week ago and my family and my best friend's family went out to a chinese for a treat for the kids.
I was sitting next to my mate's hubby.
It was 7pm ( not late ) and we weren't pissed ( we had kids with us ) and whilst we were reading the menu ( all around the table ) he put his hand on my boob.
I pulled back and ( seriously ) thought that I was imagining it.
5 mins later he began stroking me. I got up and went to the loo.
This happened again and on the third stroke ( ) I smacked the table and said "stop it" really loudly. Everyone looked at me - but said nothing.

It's only when I look back on it that I get crosser and crosser ( might be something baout me having a boob scare recently and had to go for a mamagram )
Problem is that we usually socialise a lot with them - and quite frankly I really do NOT wwant to see this bloke again.
Told DH who went all macho .... but I don't want to upset my mate ......

OP posts:
WigandRobe · 13/11/2004 15:19

Message deleted

Branster · 13/11/2004 17:45

I'd very surprised if he doesn't behave like this with a lot of women he comes into contact with.
My advice would be to cut al ties with him (especially the solicitor bussiness). His behaviour was completely out of order and you, as a mature woman, must tell him so. Also, i don't see why you shouldn't tell his wife about his behaviour. I would.
Just think what a pervert he must be! I don't know if you ahve a daughter or a son, but say that he happens to spend time on his own ()even for 2 minutes at a friendly family get together) and you have a daughter aged 13 or above. Would you not wonder what he's been up to? This man must be stopped from what he is doing and you have to make it clear to him you do not aprove of his behaviour.
You have not overreacted at all, if anything you had every right to make a big scene out of it all there and then. Why should you worry about embarrassing other people, he should be the one embarrassed by all this.
And the health scare you mention ahs nothing to do with any of this. You must not excuse yourself in any way, you have done nothing wrong!
And excuse me, but 1 bottle of wine between 4 adults doesn't lead to drunken behaviour. Even if he was drunk, he was responsible for his horrible attitude. People like him should, and actually do get to go to court over such behaviour.
Take care of yourself and I hope it'll all get sorted out.

80sMum · 13/11/2004 17:58

I wouldn't mention it to your friend. Just make sure you don't sit any near her dh next time you're out with them! A few hard stares should do the trick. If not, get him on his own and tell him that you don't like him touching you and that if he does it again you'll have no choice but to tell his dw.

Original poster
Crystaltips · 16/11/2004 18:32

I am really touched by all your replies. Sorry I haven't posted sooner - but I was visiting my M&D for the weekend.
I know that I have done nothing wrong - but the fact that he's a solicitor and there is no eveidence - and that I know I'd get all tongue-tied ... makes me think that I'd have trouble fighting my corner.

Fact is that DH knows and will "protect" me when we ever have to be in contact with this sleaze-ball.
Thanks for making me feel better xx

OP posts:
WigandRobe · 16/11/2004 19:11

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princesspeahead · 16/11/2004 19:42

wigandrobe, what planet are you on?! tone it down a bit. the bloke groped her. she told her husband. I think the issue here is how to warn him off and whether to tell his wife, not to collect evidence for an assault case/execute a career "hit" on him (as if, ffs). honestly.

crystal, I'd get your dh to call him, warn him off, and tell him that you will be using other legal representation from now on. but don't tell the wife, just cool the friendship.

WigandRobe · 16/11/2004 19:45

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princesspeahead · 16/11/2004 19:46

oh puhleeease...

WigandRobe · 16/11/2004 19:51

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princesspeahead · 16/11/2004 19:54

do what I always do, slap them down (or dig heel in top of their foot - easy to do very subtly eg at table), tell them how little interested I am in my best cutting and cut glass voice and move on.

WigandRobe · 16/11/2004 19:56

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JiminyCricket · 16/11/2004 19:57

Your friend might not thank you for telling her, but it'll give her a reality check she might thank you for later. My friend's just about to marry a total w*** and I'm trying to work up the courage to ask her why she's bothering.

princesspeahead · 16/11/2004 19:59

crystal sounds pretty bloody strong to me if she banged on the table in front of everyone! sounds like she can take care of herself very nicely, thanks

leglebegle · 16/11/2004 19:59

is wig and robe joking? I can't believe this is a serious posting. and incidentally, how does wig and robe intend to 'make sure he never works again' just by getting his name? by reporting him to the law society perhaps? even they would do an investigation. it takes a lot to get struck off. blimey, I know its very unpleasant someone putting their hand on your boob, but I don't think the police would be spending tax payers money getting 'dna samples' from clothes.

WigandRobe · 16/11/2004 20:00

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princesspeahead · 16/11/2004 20:01

I know, legalbegle, made me wonder if she was even a lawyer with that comment. or perhaps just so overwhelmed by the fabulousness of being a lawyer that her testosterone got the better of her. (I'm also one, but I keep it as quiet as possible!)

leglebegle · 16/11/2004 20:05

she could of course be the lord chancellor in disguise, or the head of scotland yard, or the prime minister! then she might be able to ensure he 'never works again', and I'll be laughing on the other side of my face with a username like leglebegle

WigandRobe · 16/11/2004 20:05

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princesspeahead · 16/11/2004 20:06

SHE IS CHERIE BLAIR!

She is going to get Peter whatsit, the australian dodgy bloke, to kill him.

THAT's it!

princesspeahead · 16/11/2004 20:07

oh come on w&r, admit it, it is quite funny your "He will NEVER work again!" comment.

ARE you cherie?

leglebegle · 16/11/2004 20:07

oh wigandrobe, just a joke, not intending to personally abuse you. lighten up.

princesspeahead · 16/11/2004 20:10

she's gone to make tony his pie and mushy peas.

which I must also do for my dh (obviously something a bit more royal though - roast swan perhaps)

leglebegle · 16/11/2004 20:15

I know, I was just thinking I had to go and peel some potatoes. Sorry - I mean boil a lobster !

sobernow · 16/11/2004 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WigandRobe · 16/11/2004 20:39

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