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Original poster

Kick him out!

47 replies

Ivy2006 · 05/11/2021 07:51

Hi!

So long story short, I split up with my partner last night. It was a long time coming. I wasn't happy and unfortunately lost all feelings for him. We just weren't compatible and we had a very toxic relationship at times, which I don't want my daughter around (not his).

This weekend (fri to sun) he was due to have his son round from a previous relationship. However, as I split up with him I didn't feel this was appropriate and told him I wanted him to leave my house today.

He's told me that I'm hanging him out to dry and he feels I should allow him and his son to stay the full weekend and give him until Sunday to find somewhere.

To explain further, this is my home.

Personally, I feel he should either tell his ex partner that he needs to swap weekends and have his son next weekend instead. Then stay round a friends etc. Or just take his son to his mums and stay there which he has done in the past when we've been a bit on/off. Am I fair in thinking this? or is he right to suggest to stay until Sunday?

OP posts:
Pumpkinsonparade · 05/11/2021 07:55

Today!! He doesn't get to decide... He could turn nasty the longer he hangs around.. He can go to his dm's and take dc there..

NotaCoolMum · 05/11/2021 07:58

You are 100% within your rights to get him gone TODAY! The relationship is over therefore he’s not your problem anymore x

Dillydollydingdong · 05/11/2021 08:00

Tell him to go to his mum's. I'm sure she'll be pleased to see her grandchild.

WB205020 · 05/11/2021 08:03

He has some where to go. His mothers. It’s not like you’d be throwing him and his son on the street. He can leave today.

Salayes · 05/11/2021 08:03

It’s your house and your decision and it sounds as though he would have options. You describe the relationship as toxic so because of that i’d say yep insist he leaves asap so you can have your space back.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 05/11/2021 08:08

If he can go to his mum's that's what he needs to do.

Lordamighty · 05/11/2021 08:20

Your house, your decision, personally I would want him gone today.

GoodnightGrandma · 05/11/2021 08:22

No.
Gone today, and he can sort his son out himself.

AnotherForumUser · 05/11/2021 08:42

Don't let him guilt you into allowing him to stay. He can go to his mum's home. Protect your daughter and yourself from this damaging relationship.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/11/2021 08:50

He's chancing it and hoping you'll change your mind. Do you want your DD and his DS exposed to what will be a pretty awful atmosphere all weekend?

He either sees his DS at his ex's house, or his Mum's or stays in a bloody Premier Inn for the weekend.

Kick him out!

Bananalanacake · 05/11/2021 10:40

It's your house, does he pay towards rent, bills, I mean does he have any legal claim to stay there.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 05/11/2021 12:46

How long has he been living with you and does he have anywhere else to go?

It does seem very harsh to boot someone out of where they are living with notice to find a new place. Unless of course there is DV in which you must protect your child.

Polmuggle · 05/11/2021 12:48

does he have anywhere else to go?

Read the OP

Yummypumpkin · 05/11/2021 12:49

Throwing someone out on the street because you've fallen out of love isn't great. I would find it terrifying, humiliating and overwhelming.

BillMasen · 05/11/2021 13:05

@Yummypumpkin

Throwing someone out on the street because you've fallen out of love isn't great. I would find it terrifying, humiliating and overwhelming.
This

It’s not nice of you at all to just force him out. Yes it’s your house but the risk of this happening is why women on here are told to get a rental agreement, or a share of the property. A man throwing a woman out immediately on splitting up would be absolutely torn apart on here.

BillMasen · 05/11/2021 13:05

And all the people saying “tough”
I very much doubt you’d say that the other way round…

TeeBee · 05/11/2021 13:10

Yet again, women are expected to be 'nice'...by other women. Fuck that...if you want him out, out he goes. He has his mother to bail him out and there are such things as AirBNBs. I suspect he's hoping he can wheedle his way back in. He's not your responsibility.

TeeBee · 05/11/2021 13:13

...and is this the guy you found messaging other women who barely contributes to the household??? Stay strong. Let that adult sort himself out.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 05/11/2021 13:16

He doesn't deserve any consideration - messaging other women and not paying anything towards the household. I'm sure his mum will sort him out.
You are not his mum. Its not as though he has nobody.
He should have thought of this before messaging other women.

RowanAlong · 05/11/2021 13:41

You broke up with him, he’s not your responsibility! Tell him it’s not your problem.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 05/11/2021 13:53

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

He doesn't deserve any consideration - messaging other women and not paying anything towards the household. I'm sure his mum will sort him out. You are not his mum. Its not as though he has nobody. He should have thought of this before messaging other women.
This, really.

Come on OP this has been going on for ages. Time to finally cut him off, he's taken the piss long enough. Don't give him another day or he'll have you rethinking the break up again.

Get him gone so you can show your child what a happy, healthy, independent adult looks like. Free from this freeloading cheat.

Original poster
Ivy2006 · 05/11/2021 13:58

Hey,

Just to clarify. This is my home. He doesn't contribute to rent, bills etc. He doesn't officially live here. He officially lives at his mums but he's been staying here throughout our relationship.

He's probably got one bag of stuff here maximum. Hence why I just want him gone at this point. He's very good at making me feel uncomfortable and trying to manipulate situations. That's why I'm so desperate for him to get out.

He has a room at his mums he can stay at.

OP posts:
TinnedPotatoesRock · 05/11/2021 14:02

Can you get the locks changed whilst he's out?

youvegottenminuteslynn · 05/11/2021 14:04

What is the stumbling block that we can help you with to get him gone?

Is it him guilt tripping you? If he does this, picture all the messages you saw to other women and channel the knowledge that he sent them all and got sexual kicks out of them. That he had that little respect for you, that little regard for your relationship. Channel that anger into saying he HAS to leave.

It's madness to let him stay especially when he's got somewhere to go, immediately!

This is my home. He doesn't contribute to rent, bills etc. He doesn't officially live here. He officially lives at his mums but he's been staying here throughout our relationship.

And really have a think about some counselling once he's gone, to try to unravel why you accepted this relationship dynamic so that you can avoid repeating it.

Original poster
Ivy2006 · 05/11/2021 14:05

Also to add..

I told him today I don't think it's appropriate he stays the weekend just so he feels comfortable. He's got plenty of options. He can go back to his mums, have his son next weekend and stay at a friends, or he can get an air bnb if he's that desperate.

He's furious as he feels I should be allowing him a place to stay so him and his son can be comfortable. He thinks I'm a bad person for not being considerate of that. He thinks I owe him the favour

OP posts:
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