Kick him out!

[Ivy2006]

Hi!

So long story short, I split up with my partner last night. It was a long time coming. I wasn't happy and unfortunately lost all feelings for him. We just weren't compatible and we had a very toxic relationship at times, which I don't want my daughter around (not his).

This weekend (fri to sun) he was due to have his son round from a previous relationship. However, as I split up with him I didn't feel this was appropriate and told him I wanted him to leave my house today.

He's told me that I'm hanging him out to dry and he feels I should allow him and his son to stay the full weekend and give him until Sunday to find somewhere.

To explain further, this is my home.

Personally, I feel he should either tell his ex partner that he needs to swap weekends and have his son next weekend instead. Then stay round a friends etc. Or just take his son to his mums and stay there which he has done in the past when we've been a bit on/off. Am I fair in thinking this? or is he right to suggest to stay until Sunday?

Ok but you know that's not true, right?

I'm struggling to understand whether you need reassurance he's wrong as you're genuinely not sure if you're being mean... or if you know he's being an unreasonable twat and won't be caving?

Please don't cave. He is a user, an absolute user. And you're letting him use you and your child - the resources he uses are resources that could directly be benefitting your child and not this arsehole.

Come on OP, tell him to get gone - rip the plaster off and do it.

Who cares what he thinks? Tell him to leave. Bag up his stuff and leave it on the doorstep. Take his key from him. It really, really doesn't matter what he thinks.

Do you have someone to help you boot him out?
Do you have Yale locks? Costs around £20 for a new lock and they are easy peasy to replace yourself with a screwdriver.

I was going to say yabu, but as he doesn't actually live with you then why on Earth would he think he has any right to ask.

It's one thing if you've lived together for years, a completely different thing if he only has a bag at yours and doesn't contribute.

Tell him he can go home (his Mums) and look after his dc there

Thanks everyone for your kind advice!

I needed reassurance as I honestly wasn't sure if I was being cruel by giving him just today to go back to his mums. But like some of you have said, he's not got all his stuff here and it's just a case of packing up his few items and going back home to his mums.

I guess it's been a long relationship of him making me feel small and guilty constantly so I needed a second opinion from an outsider!

I promise you that you're being more than fair!

He's treated you like shit and in the process he's diverted resources that you can now put towards you and your child's present and future.

Kick him out and close the door to the past.

And change the locks too.

Ashe has somewhere to go & with his DS, YADNBU

Tell him he packs up & leaves for his mother's, or you are calling the police to have him removed... & do it, if he still won't go, they do help in situations like this

The only people you've been cruel to are yourself and your daughter. He's been giving you the run around for a while now. Time to draw a line under it. He sounds very manipulative. You'll feel lighter when he's gone.

So how long has he been staying with you without contributing to bills and rent? He is a cocklodger, have you got some burly male friends to kick him out.

You owe him nothing! But if he really wants to talk about who owes what, I'd sit down with him with a calculator and work it all out for him.

Pack his bag and send him off to his mum's.

He can only manipulate you if you communicate with him. Bag on the doorstep. Change the locks. Block him. He'll soon find someone else to sponge off. What's the bet he tries to get back with his ex?

@Ivy2006

Hey,

Just to clarify. This is my home. He doesn't contribute to rent, bills etc. He doesn't officially live here. He officially lives at his mums but he's been staying here throughout our relationship.

He's probably got one bag of stuff here maximum. Hence why I just want him gone at this point. He's very good at making me feel uncomfortable and trying to manipulate situations. That's why I'm so desperate for him to get out.

He has a room at his mums he can stay at.

In that case I change my mind. It sounded like he lived there

Time to tell him to fuck off now

It’s cruel of him to pressure you, and he’s not really considering his son. What sort of weekend will his son have in your house in this situation? His son will have a better time at his grandmother’s.

@Ivy2006

He thinks I owe him...
That's it in a nutshell, really, isn't it?

I had 6 years (!!!) with someone like this. He had a huge chip on his shoulder and was always on the lookout for what other people had that he felt he should have too.

You can't reason with someone like this. He's not really listening.

Did he go? Sounds like a massively over-entitled arsehole child of a man who needs to run back to his Mummy.

Well done, OP.

Did he go, @Ivy2006?

He thinks I owe him the favour

Fuck him.

He also thought you owed him free board & lodging, & a blind eye to his faithlessness.

Don't let the cocklodging twat haunt your home a moment longer, poisoning DD's home atmosphere & manipulating & being foul to you.

Well done for giving him the boot OP.

Hello!

Thanks for those who asked for an update.

I told him he had to go and I gave him all of Friday to collect his things.

His response was that he would be happy to move back into his mums from Monday but wanted to stay the weekend just so he had more time being comfortable before having to move back. Completely selfish in my opinion!

He tried crying and grovelling but I had none of it. After some convincing, he collected his things and left. I've not heard from him since and he's already on internet dating. I made a lucky escape. It seems he was just using me for my home.

I feel such a sense of relief and im so happy my daughter doesn't need to be subject to the awful atmosphere.

Thanks everyone xxx

Well done op!! An example to anyone trying to ditch a similar dodo!!

Well done OP. Awesome outcome. What a cheeky arsehole he is...wanting to stay comfortable!! Unreal!!

PS. You're freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. :-)

Good for you.

Well, he's shown his true colours now.

Well done OP! Hope you and your DD can have lovely, happy, stress-free weekend!