Boyfriend of 4 months is, I think deliberately causing me to be insecure.

[nolovelost]

So he is very lovely with me, compliments me a lot, is very thoughtful and caring and supportive when needs be.

I feel like he deliberately mentions women a lot, like in general, because it doesn't feel natural. He really emphasises on it. When he's been out and about and talking to women he knows. It feels like he's looking for a reaction and not just a casual thing to mention, because it is a LOT! He'll say a woman is attractive on TV but it's all the time!

We've had a few minor issues before which we've spoken about, to which he's said that he's glad I've brought them up and that he'll make a conscious effort to improve, so he is approachable etc.

I get that most men appreciate other women and even comment from time to time but it just seems over the top.

I need help with whether I should do anything about it. It's quite off putting.

Thanks.

One day I will stop being astonished at the crap some men dole out.
OP, this has never, ever happened in my relationship of 30+ years. It's not normal or acceptable, just get rid, life's too short and you are worth more.

Slightly tongue in cheek, but have you tried doing it back. A few weeks of ‘Phoarr, that Jason Mamoa is gorgeous’ or ‘Isn’t Tom Hardy beautiful?’ would be hilarious.

Isn't it just boring? You can both see that a person you are passing in the street or watching on tv is attractive would you always want to discuss it - No!

GET RID. This will escalate. It’s called gaslighting.

@nolovelost

I'm amazed that you're actually worried about how to respond to his question about what you want to eat

You're worried about £10 of 'wasted' food, when you're trying to decide whether or not to continue with the relationship ?

Say anything. Tell him you'd rather order pizza once you're there ffs, it doesn't matter. Or tell him ''You decide. I'm really busy at the moment with work. I'll see you tomorrow.''

Just get your head straight about how you want to initiate the conversation. Focusing on an extraneous detail, like what to tell him you'd like for dinner, is just a way of trying to avoid focusing on the 'bigger picture'.

To be honest, 4 months is about 18 weeks.

You are still in the trial period. If you are questioning it, for whatever reason, just bin and find someone else.

Doesn’t matter whether, objectively, it is ‘reasonable’ or not. It is your life and how you feel.

@nolovelost

This is doing my head in waiting to speak to him. He's not close by and I'm due to see him Saturday which is going to be make or break, depending on how I feel when I've spoken to him.

He's asked me twice now what he can cook for me and being really sweet. I can't not respond to it again. I can't say that I'm already busy at tea time as I've already said I'm free but what if I decide that I want to finish things, what can I say about the meal thing? I can't say 'yeah I'll have such a thing', he goes and buys expensive food and I finish it!!

Well he'll just have two dinners won't he. He can share it with one of the women he constantly drools over, worst case.

All the best with the conversation @nolovelost

You deserve better than this.

You owe him Nothing simply because he cooks you a nice dinner and is nice to you.
Stick to your guns and make it clear you are not ok with the constant objectifying of women

What a boring load of nonsense to have to listen too. Jesus get rid! Before you do though, sit and watch a movie, relentlessly comment on how gorgeous the men are and when he gets the arse dump him.

Honestly why bother, he's an immature moron.

@nolovelost what happened on Saturday, then??