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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cutting ties with a narcissist

67 replies

newstart2022 · 02/11/2021 09:47

Hi
I am really at rock bottom and I need some advice.
I know what I need to do but it’s making me feel ill.
I have been in a narcissistic relationship for 5 years, it wasn’t always like that and it took a while to notice it.
I hardly see him now but he still has me hanging, we sleep together and it’s amazing and I get hooked again.
He doesn’t speak to me for days and I think he is interested in someone else.
I keep hanging on because I don’t want to feel the pain of him moving on.
Advice please x

OP posts:
newstart2022 · 18/11/2021 09:21

@RedFlagsAllOver
That’s the same stuff I deal with.
The other week he went on a night out with a group (including some females he flirts with)
Said he would phone when he got home.
Didn’t hear from him all night.
He does this with messages too, it’s all mind games .
If you have no ties block him

OP posts:
RedFlagsAllOver · 18/11/2021 09:50

Does your head in doesn't it. I so just want to block him and start a fresh but he watches me on twitter and follows me on something that makes it difficult because I know he would contact me by other means to have the last word. I've even heard of narcs sending deposits of 1p to bank accounts with messages attached just to try and make contact. It's aways do as I say not as I do with him. No word all day Saturday but I can't say anything about that. He's busy working or weekends busy doing f knows what. Not seeing me tho

newstart2022 · 18/11/2021 10:15

@RedFlagsAllOver
You sound like me.
You want it to be over but something is making you hold on.
Stay strong.
I wish I had cut ties years ago

OP posts:
fumfspos · 18/11/2021 10:54

I had to get away from someone like this. The final time we broke up (3 years ago) I was determined never to see or speak to him again. Blocked him on everything. (He turned up again on my doorstep when my Dad died and it took me another 6 months after that to shake him off again)

But, and I have typed this on here before, I printed off a 3 month calendar from the internet. I marked off 30 days, 60 days, and 90 days.
Each day that I did not contact him I crossed off a day.
There was a treat written on the calendar for the 30, 60 and 90 days. 30 days was clothes shopping, 60 was a trip to a thermal bath, 90 days was a day out somewhere I'd always wanted to go.
Working towards the rewards really motivated me and by the time I got to 90 days there was absolutely no temptation to contact the ex. The first 30 days were the worst!

It worked for me, maybe you could try it and see what happens. Choose your own treats. I popped money into a piggy bank each day of the month so that by the time the treat day came around most of it was paid for!

sadx · 18/11/2021 20:48

@CheekyHobson bloody hell . So true all of it. This is what I'm trying to heal from (it's hell!) and what you say is a million percent accurate. How do you know all this? Please!

CheekyHobson · 18/11/2021 21:48

@sadx

I went through the same thing (relationship with a narcissist). Deep down I knew the problems we were having weren't being created by me though he always insisted they were (he was always vague about what I was actually doing wrong), and he also lied to me a lot to cause me to doubt myself. I did suspect at times he was lying but because of my own belief that it would be wrong to invade his privacy by checking up on him (and that people in relationships should trust each other), he got away with it for a lot longer than he should have.

I actually ended up drinking quite a lot to numb my feelings of misery and failure (though I didn't recognise that's what was going on at the time) – not to an excessive degree by society's standards, but it was excessive for me, because I'm quite slightly built and have a sensitive body chemistry. Eventually I stopped because I didn't like how it was making me feel.

Instead, I slowly (over the course of about a year and a half) started trying to figure out what the hell I could be doing wrong by reading lots of different books/articles/papers about healthy vs unhealthy relationships, recognising and understanding how emotions and thoughts work together to drive behaviours, etc, what mental health problems really look like (I realise now that a lot of mental health problems are quite hard to see clearly) while journalling a great deal and relating all my learning to my own life and experiences with my ex until I understood the underlying processes. What became crystal-clear was that I really wasn't causing our problems, and he was emotionally abusive. Even then, it took a chance incident to discover that he was also significantly financially abusive too. It was an enormous and harsh reality check, but had the upside of confirming once and for all that I hadn't been crazy to think he had been lying to me for years.

Going to a good therapist would probably get you to the same place a lot quicker but I didn't have the money to do that (see above: financial abuse). Fortunately I am pretty good at figuring out how to do things by myself when I put my mind to it, and understanding clearly how abusive strategies work now means that I can now see users coming and give them a wide swerve.

52andblue · 18/11/2021 22:03

@CheekyHobson

No he doesn't mean it, every word is a lie. The sorrys, the I love yous it's all lies.

I think it is actually a bit more complex than this. I think that rather than these people necessarily consciously lying when they say they are sorry and make promises about doing better, many of them are actually just driven by unconscious patterns of selfishness and need and fear of abandonment. Maybe there are some absolute psychopaths who quite consciously lie and fake sadness while knowing exactly what they're doing, but I think they are quite rare.

More often – especially with more borderline cases – I think they understand at a low level that they have done something to badly upset you and they don't want you to stay upset because they know that if you stay upset you might abandon them and they don't want that. So they apologise but the whole experience is shallow and quickly forgotten because ALL their feelings are shallow and quickly forgotten. This is one of the keys to understanding all narcissistic / sociopathic / psychopathic behaviour - they literally have less feelings than other people do. And because not having feelings is completely normal to them, they actually don't understand that something is wrong with them.

You know how when something good happens – like someone says something really nice to you, and you feel so happy you actually get a physical buzz in your body that lasts a while? Maybe later in the day you remember the nice thing that person said and you get an echo of that buzz all over again but the echo alone makes you feel good enough that you decide to ring someone you love and say something nice to them because it will make them feel good too? Maybe you could even go for a couple of days having little residual bursts of happiness remembering that compliment? That's how normal people with normal levels of emotions operate.

Narcissists and others in that 'emotionally deadened' category are different. Someone might say that same nice thing to them and for a moment they feel good, but it's more of a detached, muted kind of good, like "Ah, this person recognises my high quality." And that good feeling dissipates quite quickly. If they think of the compliment again later, the memory barely generates any positive feeling in their body at all. But they remember and want the good feeling again, so instead of doing what you did, which was ringing someone to share the good feeling you had with them, they do the opposite. They ring someone and fish for another compliment. They might repeat the compliment they received to see if the new person will echo it or agree. To be clear, they are not necessarily able to recognise what is happening here themselves or explain it 'out loud' in their heads. They are operating more or less automatically. In the same way, after the compliment you received, you probably didn't actually think "I feel so good that I will ring a friend and share this good feeling with them." You just felt good and spontaneously acted to pass that good feeling on to someone else.

So when a narc apologises, what they are mostly doing is loss prevention. They want to prevent a regular source of good feelings (you) from disappearing because that possibility makes them feel anxious (bad feelings show up more strongly for the narcissist than good ones). If you left, their own life would become more sucky due to the absence of regular positive input from you. But they don't apologise because they genuinely understand you are feeling bad and they want you to stop feeling bad. They apologise because THEY have started feeling bad (fear of abandoment) and they know that apologising will stop you from leaving and therefore they will stop feeling afraid. Your actual feelings really don't come into it much at all.

Underneath all the arrogance and selfishness etc, they are actually terribly needy people; they are poorly equipped to deal with a life that requires an understanding of emotion and ability to empathise with others, they are often disorganised and poor at planning, can't save money well due to a tendency to act impulsively, etc. They need other people, because their lives fall to shit when they don't have other people to manage stuff for them. But because they have only gotten this far in life by telling themselves/believing they are very special and exceptional people (or people who have been terribly and unjustifiably mistreated and victimised – in fact, usually both special AND victimised), they find it very hard to accept that actually, they are the cause of all their own problems.

This is very helpful. Thank you x
13yearslater · 18/11/2021 22:21

The fun and best way to smoke out and get rid of a narcissist is to frighten the fuck out of them. They run away.

13yearslater · 18/11/2021 22:27

Combined with genuinely laughing at them. In their faces. They hate that. [big grin]

13yearslater · 18/11/2021 22:30

Has anyone read Snakes in Suits? It's useful.

RedFlagsAllOver · 19/11/2021 06:30

He hates it for eg if I post a selfie on twitter. He will say I'm doing it for attention, to get comments off "purvey" men. So the other week I deliberately posted a load. He didn't say anything, so I thought good. He's obviously not arsed anymore.
Then 2 days later he started a row over something said are we done? We finished? I phoned him to ask why now?. Then he brought that up saying you know I hate it when you post that "shit" I posted a new profile picture and he said you can take that down too because I fucking hate it, And what did I do? Go along with what he said when I should have told him to fuck off and break away from this nonsense for good .

He love bombed me at the beginning. Always texting and calling asking how I am, what I'm doing "with my sexy self" would send long messages. I would wake up with a buzz every morning reading his messages. All heart and kisses emojis, giffs of people cuddling etc then all that stopped.
3 word replies every time, no longer calls me beautiful. If I send pictures he hardly says anything. If I don't he says you never send pictures anymore. Yesterday after starting that row about not texting first he said I was making something out of nothing, I said no I think you enjoy winding me up. He then said I was getting choppsy.
I really hate what he's done to me and I hate myself for letting him.

RedFlagsAllOver · 19/11/2021 07:41

So this has happened now ..

Cutting ties with a narcissist
Nov910 · 19/11/2021 07:52

@RedFlagsAllOver can’t think what you’ve previously written (sorry I seem consumed with narc posts)
It’s because you’re wanting attention..he’s got to give you attention and he clearly doesn’t like it

KintsugiForever · 19/11/2021 09:01

@RedFlagsAllOver do you actually love him or do you feel addicted to him? The push and pull of just that message you have shared to me seems like the discard phase (or at least devaluation).

I think the term narcissist is used a huge amount nowadays and there seem to be more around than ever. The actual % of the population is very small however, though we all have narcissist traits, some of which are healthy and part of the good part of having an ego and self preservation.

My ExH was diagnosed as a malignant narcissist (and sociopath) when he was sectioned after I left him finally. I have to be honest and say I didn't focus on what this disorder actually meant, rather than just try and get over the abuse and look after my children in the aftermath. I did the Freedom Programme which was amazing, but it was only when I dated someone who followed the classic pattern of love bomb- devalue- discard (though we didn't get to discard as I broke it off when I saw 'devalue' coming in!) that I started researching narcissism.

If you feel you are in, or have been in, a relationship with a narcissist you will feel confused, hurt, bewildered, often 'numb' because the perfect 'Golden Period' at the start is so wonderful that when the switch happens (and it can be really sudden and like being physically slapped), you are so shocked. Now, most abusers (and narcissists do more often than not cause abuse in relationships) will follow a similar pattern and they usually target empaths; people who are kind, caring and want to help. Usually when someone who is 'normal' is treated badly they will say something like 'No thanks mate, I'm out'. Whereas an empath will say 'Why are you doing this? ' A subtle difference, but that is why smart, outgoing empaths still get into these kind of relationships, and why they stay. They want to understand, help, and see the best in everyone. The thing with this disorder is that YOU cannot help them, only they can. And more often than not, they don't even know what they are doing, it's the disorder making them behave that way to protect them - so, it is a rare narcissist who is self aware, and an even rarer one who wants to change and get professional help.

I appreciate this is a long post but I hope it will help someone who feels they are stuck in this terribly destructive type of relationship. It really can take you to the edge of reason.

What helped for me? First of all go completely No Contact - block on everything, including any mutual friends you may have on social media. Absolutely no contact at all. Delete photos, throw things away that remind you of them. Then I educated myself, there is loads of stuff online (HG Tudor is awesome, some find him triggering, but I found his brutally honest videos absolutely perfect for stopping me feeling sorry for my exes - more 'gentle' ones include those by Dr Ramani and Rebecca Zung). I also have a counsellor who specialises in NPD abuse and recovery. I think I have mentioned on another post (may be this one, not sure!) that I also wrote down every single thing that my most recent ex had done that was off, or spiteful, so I could refer to it if I ever missed him. Other things like extra physical activity, listening to music, seeing friends, all helped me get myself out of the 'mind loop' of trying to understand it all.

Again, I could go on all day but I won't! The important thing really is that any behaviour that makes you feel confused, desperate or sad is unacceptable. And you should move on.

If you are with a narcissist, they are incapable of loving you the way that anyone deserves to. They are emotionally stunted and can't manage it. In the beginning they create the perfect facade and you feel they are the best partner you have ever had. They even believe it too because they are addicted to the high. But it doesn't last because it isn't real. Anything that seems to good to be true at the start, usually is! Be kind to yourself and don't stay with someone who makes you feel rubbish.

RedFlagsAllOver · 19/11/2021 09:21

At this point. I know that he doesn't give a shit. And I keep telling myself that. He showed his true colours way back last November a few weeks after saying I love you. I know he doesn't love me. Not in the normal sense. He loved that I would do as I was told. I filled whatever gap for him he wanted at the time. Someone to send pictures or Someone to listen to his rants.
When he said I'm done I should have just blocked him. He phoned me said I Don't mean done like that but it felt like you were starting. He said yesterday it was because I don't say babe, today beautiful you act like its some kind of conspiracy but it's not...
I know what I need to do. I just wish I had the strength to actually do it.

52andblue · 20/11/2021 22:30

Does anybody know how to save a whole thread please?
I need to save this one !!!

RedFlagsAllOver · 21/11/2021 19:06

The longer you dance with the Devil the longer you remain in Hell

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