@RedFlagsAllOver do you actually love him or do you feel addicted to him? The push and pull of just that message you have shared to me seems like the discard phase (or at least devaluation).
I think the term narcissist is used a huge amount nowadays and there seem to be more around than ever. The actual % of the population is very small however, though we all have narcissist traits, some of which are healthy and part of the good part of having an ego and self preservation.
My ExH was diagnosed as a malignant narcissist (and sociopath) when he was sectioned after I left him finally. I have to be honest and say I didn't focus on what this disorder actually meant, rather than just try and get over the abuse and look after my children in the aftermath. I did the Freedom Programme which was amazing, but it was only when I dated someone who followed the classic pattern of love bomb- devalue- discard (though we didn't get to discard as I broke it off when I saw 'devalue' coming in!) that I started researching narcissism.
If you feel you are in, or have been in, a relationship with a narcissist you will feel confused, hurt, bewildered, often 'numb' because the perfect 'Golden Period' at the start is so wonderful that when the switch happens (and it can be really sudden and like being physically slapped), you are so shocked. Now, most abusers (and narcissists do more often than not cause abuse in relationships) will follow a similar pattern and they usually target empaths; people who are kind, caring and want to help. Usually when someone who is 'normal' is treated badly they will say something like 'No thanks mate, I'm out'. Whereas an empath will say 'Why are you doing this? ' A subtle difference, but that is why smart, outgoing empaths still get into these kind of relationships, and why they stay. They want to understand, help, and see the best in everyone. The thing with this disorder is that YOU cannot help them, only they can. And more often than not, they don't even know what they are doing, it's the disorder making them behave that way to protect them - so, it is a rare narcissist who is self aware, and an even rarer one who wants to change and get professional help.
I appreciate this is a long post but I hope it will help someone who feels they are stuck in this terribly destructive type of relationship. It really can take you to the edge of reason.
What helped for me? First of all go completely No Contact - block on everything, including any mutual friends you may have on social media. Absolutely no contact at all. Delete photos, throw things away that remind you of them. Then I educated myself, there is loads of stuff online (HG Tudor is awesome, some find him triggering, but I found his brutally honest videos absolutely perfect for stopping me feeling sorry for my exes - more 'gentle' ones include those by Dr Ramani and Rebecca Zung). I also have a counsellor who specialises in NPD abuse and recovery. I think I have mentioned on another post (may be this one, not sure!) that I also wrote down every single thing that my most recent ex had done that was off, or spiteful, so I could refer to it if I ever missed him. Other things like extra physical activity, listening to music, seeing friends, all helped me get myself out of the 'mind loop' of trying to understand it all.
Again, I could go on all day but I won't! The important thing really is that any behaviour that makes you feel confused, desperate or sad is unacceptable. And you should move on.
If you are with a narcissist, they are incapable of loving you the way that anyone deserves to. They are emotionally stunted and can't manage it. In the beginning they create the perfect facade and you feel they are the best partner you have ever had. They even believe it too because they are addicted to the high. But it doesn't last because it isn't real. Anything that seems to good to be true at the start, usually is! Be kind to yourself and don't stay with someone who makes you feel rubbish.