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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband mean to me when baby wakes him before work!

34 replies

Mamaof2222 · 02/11/2021 07:07

So we have a four and a half month old baby. My husband is self employed and works when he has things in the diary. Since day one I gave done all but maybe one night feed. My husband has got into this routine where he has casually asked me to go in the other room with baby when he has work. This has really irritated me because every night I choose to go to bed early as I know baby will be up yet he stays up watching TV until about 1am (I know I can't be mad about that as this makes him happy but I'd like to so that but I know I will be a raging mess the next day). Baby is quite good and only wakes twice maybe once for a dummy/feed then at 5am to stay up for a while. this morning he woke up(only one hour n and half before his alarm was due to go off) as soon as the baby made a noise not even giving me a chance to console him back to sleep went into the other room. When I finally greeted him this morning he had a go at me said if he does at work (psychical job) then we know who's to blame etc (blaming me!). I don't care about anything when I'm sleeping apparantly. I am just so angry as I completely understand he has to work but he doesn't get how exhausting it is. He also finishes work quite early around 3/4pm and straight after
still manages to go for walk in the day for about an hour. When I do not get one minute to myself. And I just think if you were that tired you would scrap your walk and come home to relax! Am I being too sensitive right now!?

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 02/11/2021 07:19

I remember you from previous writings. He’s also moaned about crumbs in the butter and water in the cheese drawer!.

What are you getting out of this relationship now?. Something still keeps you with this individual so what needs of yours is he still meeting here?.

No you are not being too bloody sensitive, he is treating you and in turn these children badly. He has a good life with you doesn’t he, he has carried on with his life the same as before down to watching tv till 01:00 whilst you knock yourself out doing everything else.

Is this really the role model of a relationship you want to be showing them?. No it is not and it’s not good enough for you either.

Rainbowqueeen · 02/11/2021 07:22

His attitude stinks. I’d be getting my ducks in a row and exiting. He will not change

supercali77 · 02/11/2021 07:22

No you're not being too sensitive. The man has a 4 month old baby in the house and he thinks he can stay up till 1, and not be disturbed by an infant waking in the night. Adults adjust to circumstances and don't expect everyone else to keep everything perfect for them

PermanentTemporary · 02/11/2021 07:27

God he's such a twat. A weapons grade prick. Sorry no advice. If he cocks up on the job it'll be because he's so immature he stays up til 1am watching shit. Tell him that.

Flittingaboutagain · 02/11/2021 07:33

My partner still does shifts to sit up at night with our refluxy prem baby at 4 months so it's not all on me. Your husband sounds like he can't be arsed sorry and has a terrible selfish attitude.

Whydidimarryhim · 02/11/2021 07:35

Op this situation is NOT going to get any better.
He’s likely a misogynist and thinks it’s women’s work.
I’d go away to family if you can for a few days.
He’s a bully. He’s unreasonable and if the above bits are correct re crumbs in the butter he will have you tied in knots and complying to his will.
Do you have friends - an out let - when he comes back from his walk you need to go out somewhere - change up the routine for yourself.
Keep posting.

Naunet · 02/11/2021 07:40

He’s a sexist entitled pig. Does he think that as a woman, you have some magical control over when the baby wakes?! I would be raging.

BeggarsMeddle · 02/11/2021 18:47

Ditto all of the above comments. He is not a nice man. This post and your 'crumbs in the butter' post paint a picture of a selfish arse.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 02/11/2021 18:49

Id be telling him to fuck off.

beautifulview · 02/11/2021 18:57

He’s treating you like absolute crap and it’s not ok. You must know you deserve better than this. What would be the downside of being a single parent? You already are! At least you’d be rid of his rudeness.

Ghoulette · 02/11/2021 18:57

From this and your previous posts, you need to kick this fucker out.

He is an arsehole! Why are you STILL with him?

Sloth66 · 02/11/2021 19:01

So he does nothing with the baby, leaves everything to you and still complains and demands everything is done his way.
I can’t see this getting better. He’s an intimidating bully.

endofagain · 02/11/2021 19:09

He is horrible and will never change. I am so sorry. Why would you want to stay with such an awful man?
You should confide in your family or friends, get your ducks in a row and seek legal advice.
If he is as nasty to your child as he is growing up that will be very damaging.

layladomino · 02/11/2021 19:13

I echo everything everyone has said. He is unreasonable, selfish, entitled, mysognstic, uncaring, lazy....

the list goes on.

He makes your life harder, not better. You would be better off without him.

Cyw2018 · 02/11/2021 19:14

Obviously revaluate your relationship with him.

But for now sleep in separate rooms from DH with you in with baby. Do this regardless of when he is working and since t you are in a different beds then that means no sex for DH at all. He's a prick.

gamerchick · 02/11/2021 19:30

He's a knob, you know he's a knob OP and you know you're not being U.

WallaceinAnderland · 02/11/2021 19:30

He's awful.

oohmama · 02/11/2021 19:35

I just read your other threads

Do you work? Are you financially dependant on him?

Kuachui · 02/11/2021 19:47

You already know hes a twat so not sure what your asking exactly.

many people can and will tell you to LTB but its your decision at the end of the day and if you havent heard it ebough already then this thread wont help.

He is an asshole, im sorry that you've picked one, unfortunately many are.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/11/2021 19:49

How many more times do strangers have to tell you to leave this arsehole before you'll listen? He's certainly not going to change, is he? How much more of your life do you intend on wasting?

Duchess379 · 02/11/2021 19:52

I know I'm going to get a barrage of abuse but WHY did you have a baby with this twat?! You must have seen the signs that he was a selfish fucking reject before you fell pregnant?!

nimbuscloud · 02/11/2021 19:54

I feel sorry for your children having to live with this asshole

NowEvenBetter · 02/11/2021 20:24

OP hasn’t bothered replying to her other threads about this pointless specimen she inexplicably chose to legally shackle herself to, so you’re probably wasting your time here, everyone.

Itstimetoquit · 02/11/2021 20:31

He's a pr* ! Why do you stay?

myheartskippedabeat · 02/11/2021 20:35

@Rainbowqueeen

His attitude stinks. I’d be getting my ducks in a row and exiting. He will not change
@Rainbowqueeen

Is exactly correct
Leave now
Big red flag 🚩