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Original poster

AIBU to approach random guy!

53 replies

Yellowghost · 30/10/2021 19:12

Good evening everyone. I know threads like this go down quite well on here so thought I would ask what others think!
Been single for years and well out of practice with approaching men. Last night I went to a Halloween event, the type with actors playing a part. Well the actor guy caught my eye! I have very easily found his social media profile.
My question is, would it be acceptable to send this guy a message, with him knowing full well I have shamelessly stalked him on the Internet to find him!

Two options:

Fuck it, what have you got to lose?

Or don’t bother, I will make a right tit of myself and look like a nutter?

OP posts:
Itsbeen84yearss · 30/10/2021 19:15

The latter. However, I’m sure plenty will be along in a moment to cheer you on

AlbusDumbledore2234 · 30/10/2021 19:17

Is his profile pic a photo of him and his wife on their wedding day Grin ?

Frigginintheriggin · 30/10/2021 19:17

Never regret the things you did, only the ones you didn't!!

Original poster
Yellowghost · 30/10/2021 19:17

No pics of a wife/girlfriend anywhere to be seen!

OP posts:
Skysblue · 30/10/2021 19:19

If he’s that good looking and charismatic he probably already has a girlfriend 🤷‍♀️

I think there’s no chance of him agreeing to meet up with someone he doesn’t know from a random message. Actors get messages from randoms all the time.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/10/2021 19:20

What's the big deal? Send a respectful message, ask if he would like to meet for coffee or whatever. The worst that can happen is he says no. If he does say no, do not bother him again.

Onelifeonly · 30/10/2021 19:26

Did you actually speak to him or just observe him from afar? I don't think I would unless I got some sort of vibe from him that he could be interested. OTOH, what have you got to lose?

Onelifeonly · 30/10/2021 19:28

Unless of course he turns out to be a weirdo who stalks you...... Grin

PunchyPaprika · 30/10/2021 19:31

@Frigginintheriggin

Never regret the things you did, only the ones you didn't!!
I share this line of thought x
AnaViaSalamanca · 30/10/2021 19:31

If you didn’t speak at all, it would be incredibly weird.

If you did interact/flirt, it would be kind of OK.

Bellyups · 30/10/2021 19:33

Only if you spoke to him at the event

Original poster
Yellowghost · 30/10/2021 19:36

Thanks for the responses so far, good to see the different opinions!
I wouldn’t say he was especially good looking or charismatic, but he had qualities that I find attractive if that makes sense. I thought there was something about him.
No vibe as such, he was very engrossed in his job and entertaining everyone, although I thought I caught him glancing over a couple of times at quieter moments when he was stood back and wasn’t doing his entertaining bits.

OP posts:
Moooning · 30/10/2021 19:36

You can do it put your back into it...

as my Spotify playlist is currently saying

Original poster
Yellowghost · 30/10/2021 19:39

That’s a fair point, we didn’t speak at all, maybe based on that I would be incredibly odd to send him a message! There’s still a part of me that thinks, well I’m never going to see him again, if he thinks it’s weird it doesn’t matter!

OP posts:
VodselForDinner · 30/10/2021 19:43

I’d say no.

I think it’s creepy.

If it was a female performer who had to contend with male audience members finding her social media and contacting her for a date, I think most people would find that icky.

NoBetterthanSheShouldBe · 30/10/2021 19:45

I’d say no because he was working when you met - it’s never OK to hit on people when they’re working in my view.

If he made contact with customers from events he was working at it would be some sort of professional misconduct, and it goes both ways.

JudgementalCactus · 30/10/2021 19:52

Maybe don't send a message. But follow/friend him and maybe like a couple of his pics. If he had noticed you at the party now he has a subtle invite to open the convo if he's interested. And if he doesn't you still walk away with your dignity intact.

BrilliantBetty · 30/10/2021 19:52

Hm. I think it's too much to contact his personal social media. I would hate it if a customer at my work approached me in this way and find it intrusive, unless I had given these details out.

I once worked in a hospitality / event environment. At the end of the evening the customer passed me a note with his number and name on to give to my colleague. It was quite sweet and they texted, met for a drink, dated for 3 years or so. Both of them attended my wedding togetherSmile.

Original poster
Yellowghost · 30/10/2021 21:09

Yes, I see how it could come across as intrusive with him being at work. Hmm probably best I leave it!

OP posts:
ivfbabymomma1 · 30/10/2021 21:11

I'd say go for it! What harm are you doing really? He can either say yes or no!

HaggisBurger · 30/10/2021 21:46

I’d say go for it. If you phrase it correctly he can only be flattered even if he’s attached / not interested. Him being at work is neither here nor there unless he was a catholic priest. But even then cf: Fleabag 😉

Original poster
Yellowghost · 30/10/2021 21:53

My Initial thoughts were he might be flattered if I sent a brief non creepy message!

I’m really out of touch with this kind of thing but I think if I were to do it, I would just say I was at your event the other night and wondered if you would like to meet up... if he said no I would never message again!

OP posts:
bookworm100 · 30/10/2021 21:54

I'm genuinely surprised at the people saying no.

Best case: he replies and something happens.

Worst case: he ignores you.

Go for it!

Qwertyyui · 30/10/2021 22:01

I am another one for go for it. She bairns get nowt. Worst is he days no. I've had people message me who met me at work or who have seen me in the gym and never saw an issue with it.

Thepennysjustdropped · 30/10/2021 22:02

I also think go for it. It's sad if you want to do something and don't, because... if what? Seriously, what's the worst that can happen? He doesn't reply/says no thanks/says he's gay? But it might be none of those! You think he was looking at you. I say go for it!