NC for this.
I have been with DP nearly 1.5 years. Still live separately. The first year was amazing, I was treated well and was happy but the longer I am in it, the worse it gets. But maybe I'm too demanding, maybe it is me who is looking at things form the wrong perspective? I don't know what I want from this thread. I'm at crossroad and don't know where to go. There is so many negative things coming out recently and I'm so anxious about it all.
He doesn't have any friends, says he doesn't need people in his life
Fell out with his parents years ago, I still don't know what happened as he doesn't want to talk about it
There are times when he asks me something and stops me half way through saying cool I know what you wanted to say move on to another point or would say he doesn't care when I want to tell him something
When I come to his he wouldn't come to say hi, give me a kiss and when I ask why doesn't he do that he tells me to stop looking for problems
He tells me to tell him when he does something wrong because he might not realise. All fine but when I do that he moans that I make a big deal out of nothing. When I feel he said something disrespectful I tell him and then he replies that I should appreciate what I have and that I'm looking for a perfect man. He calls me Little Ms Perfect what I do that.
He doesn't take me out for dates any more. I don't remember last time when we were out on our own. I have asked but got ignored.
He has 10yo DD and takes her out for dinners whenever she wants. If I join them he considers it to be a date. It isn't.
We go for trips every weekend with his DD (he has her every Sunday and every second Saturday). When I say I would want to go somewhere just with him he is always tired and says I should know he is busy and tired. I know he is busy but do I not deserve anything nice?
Sex used to be amazing but it is not any more, it is now all about him and if I say anything he replies that I should appreciate what I have and stop looking for problems, that it is normal that sex changes. He asks me to go down on him which I (used to) do, but when I ask him to do it, he is always tired or not in a mood. I was trying to be understanding and kind of accepted that despite being upset. He has done it again a few days ago. I've told him it isn't fair and it feels like I put much more in sex than he does and I'm upset because it doesn't get reciprocated. He got offended and told me it is my fault because I haven't told him earlier that I was upset about it. He said he couldn't remember when he said he wasn't going to do it for me. The conversation was just awful. I cried, felt accused and felt like whatever I said wasn't good enough for him, like it was my fault. I feel drained, I feel like we were talking about two different situations, I don't understand him being angry. He never said he didn't mean to, he never said he is sorry. He said he doesn't remember and it is my fault and I should've said something sooner. Maybe I should but I felt humiliated.
He doesn't talk to me now. I feel like I shouldn't have told him anything.
We did have a few arguments and every single time these conversations look this way. No matter what I say is wrong, he always finds a way to misinterpret what I have said and twist situations, he tells me I have said something I haven't. I feel like I'm loosing a plot, like I don't know who I am. I keep forgetting things as if my brain was in some sort of fog. When we don't argue he is lovely, caring, we both have a similar lifestyle and just get on with it together.
I feel I'm not emotionally safe any more, I cry when we argue, I hate these weird conversations, they leave me drained. I have friends, lovely family and never have problems with talking to them, there is never a problem with them understanding what I'm saying.
I don't know what I'm doing. Sometimes I want just to get out of this relationship but then we still have a good times and I love him and miss him. I don't know how to do it.