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Original poster

Tinder/Hinge/Bumble

35 replies

bilbodaboncho · 29/10/2021 12:24

Decided I would give a few dating apps a try but the thing I struggle with the most is what to put in the bio.

I am happily single and not prepared to give that up unless I met someone who enhanced my life. I am long term monogamous relationship oriented but not averse to fun along the way although will not get involved with a friends with benefits (Fwb) situation ever again.

Interests wise are varied:- gardening, environmental conservation, nature, countryside, walking, cycling, swimming, gym, camping, geology, meteorology, vegetarian cooking and love animals. Not a partying type person and I don't like crowded spaces. Wouldn't say I am an introvert but definitely prefer 121 socialising.

Do you swipe right to profiles that have no bio but you like the look of the person? Lastly do you swipe right on profiles for example if you have no common interests?

It's hard to know what sort of person would be suitable and a lot is down to chemistry which can't be vetted online.

I think maybe one dating app is enough as can't image being on more than two.

OP posts:
Original poster
bilbodaboncho · 29/10/2021 12:25

Also forgot to mention, do you swipe right on profiles that aren't verified?

OP posts:
Keepitonthedownlow · 29/10/2021 12:30

I'd just keep it short and positive, just a few basics. Most people swipe on your photo anyway so that is the most important thing tbh. Don't think verified makes any difference.

Palavah · 29/10/2021 12:30

If you're a woman looking for a man then you wont really get responses from your target market here.

do you swipe right to profiles that have no bio but you like the look of the person?

I'd have to really really fancy them from the photos. No bio is offputting - are they lazy or do they struggle with written English? Or just looking for sex?

lastly do you swipe right on profiles for example if you have no common interests?
Only if I was up for no strings sex with them.

DentalWorries · 29/10/2021 12:32

Personally I preferred Hinge when I was dating as the man has to put some sort of effort into creating a profile. I was never keen on those that had just bunged on a few photos.
I did actually meet DP on Hinge and it does seem to have had the most success for my friends meeting their partners as well

TheFoundations · 29/10/2021 12:33

I think you should write most of what you've written here!

Especially It's hard to know what sort of person would be suitable and a lot is down to chemistry which can't be vetted online

Pinkbonbon · 29/10/2021 12:37

Let me save you some time, especially if you are looking to date men: you could put 'im a flying fairy looking for someone to help me get back to timbuktu' on your profile, no one will read it. Men only look at the photos. Especially when what you want is written on your profile, they never read that.

The amount of them that message 'what is it you are looking for?' When you have specifically stated what on your profile, is staggering. They don't read it.

altmember · 29/10/2021 12:40

Keep if brief, write about your interests etc. Leave out anything even remotely negative - eg the bit about being a bit introverted. Just say you prefer a meal out or a quiet drink over a big party.

I am happily single and not prepared to give that up unless I met someone who enhanced my life. Again, leave that out, it goes without saying. Perhaps include something like that you're looking for something meaningful rather than casual.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 29/10/2021 12:47

You sound a very outdoorsy type so might be worth considering a specialist site like Muddy Matches? Just so you're filtering out the guys who would rather chop off a foot than go for a long country walk!

I would put something memorable in there - geology is quite a niche subject/hobby so maybe expand on the a bit. It will give guys an obvious conversation opening. And the emails that appear without any reference to what you've written, you can bin straight away.

TheFoundations · 29/10/2021 12:50

@Pinkbonbon

Let me save you some time, especially if you are looking to date men: you could put 'im a flying fairy looking for someone to help me get back to timbuktu' on your profile, no one will read it. Men only look at the photos. Especially when what you want is written on your profile, they never read that.

The amount of them that message 'what is it you are looking for?' When you have specifically stated what on your profile, is staggering. They don't read it.

Wow. There are lots that don't read it, sure.

But if OP wants somebody who reads a profile rather than just contacts her without being interested in what she has to say, those are just ones to not respond to. There are others. The right person will read it.

'Men only look at the photos' doesn't apply to all men, and by making the assumption that it does, you will filter out those who do, by not writing anything or not representing yourself well.

Just because there's a lot of incompatible people out there, doesn't mean you ought not look for what you actually want.

StarCourt · 29/10/2021 12:50

I'm not on any dating apps any more as I found them soul destroying. But when I was I never swiped if they hadn't been bothered to verify themselves

ComtesseDeSpair · 29/10/2021 12:51

I don’t bother with anyone who doesn’t have a bio. It’s a basic element of advertising yourself and if someone can’t be bothered to put some thought into telling me why I might like to date them, they’re likely to be lazy and lack effort in other elements of life as well. You wouldn’t send a CV out without even a brief cover letter.

With common interests, I’m less fussed as long as someone appears to have some interests, something to say for themselves, and we’d find some common ground for life’s basics. I have my own fairly solitary pursuits like running, weights, cycling etc and a lot of friends I share interests with.

Sparklfairy · 29/10/2021 13:22

@Pinkbonbon

Let me save you some time, especially if you are looking to date men: you could put 'im a flying fairy looking for someone to help me get back to timbuktu' on your profile, no one will read it. Men only look at the photos. Especially when what you want is written on your profile, they never read that.

The amount of them that message 'what is it you are looking for?' When you have specifically stated what on your profile, is staggering. They don't read it.

Do you reply, "I'm only looking for two things. Someone who can read, and also has a half decent attention span."?
Gonnagetgoing · 29/10/2021 13:41

@Pinkbonbon

Let me save you some time, especially if you are looking to date men: you could put 'im a flying fairy looking for someone to help me get back to timbuktu' on your profile, no one will read it. Men only look at the photos. Especially when what you want is written on your profile, they never read that.

The amount of them that message 'what is it you are looking for?' When you have specifically stated what on your profile, is staggering. They don't read it.

Actually - the vast majority look at photos only but some men (rare!) do look at profiles and use this as a talking point.

I’m all off dating sites/apps now anyway though.

Gonnagetgoing · 29/10/2021 13:42

@StarCourt

I'm not on any dating apps any more as I found them soul destroying. But when I was I never swiped if they hadn't been bothered to verify themselves
God yeah. They are so soul destroying.
samesign · 29/10/2021 14:18

Too many hobbies puts me off as I'd think they wouldn't have much time for dating so would them having young children but each to their own some mind some don't. Having a bio I'd say helps people pick or eliminate you, I rather know what they are looking for, relationship or casual I will definitely be more inclined to swipe if they know themselves. I did find that a lot of men don't read profiles and the ones that don't have immediately put me off anyway so I'd say keep your profile how you want and judge them if they can take the time to read it.

GreyCarpet · 29/10/2021 14:33

When I did online dating, I wouldn't have been interested in any man who either didn't have any details about himself or who had interests I wasn't interested in.

However, men don't seem to mind as much and tend to base their decisions on nothing more than would they fuck you or not regardless of what you write.

Original poster
bilbodaboncho · 29/10/2021 14:38

I think I'm one of those people where IRL will only work and should focus trying new things instead. Thanks for the replies but I whilst a relationship would be great will have to happen IRL where I can see if we have chemistry.

I've been single since 2015 so I don't know how to date anymore and 99.9% happier to stay single than out myself through the shower of shit that is online dating.

I've just signed up to walking group but not with the aim of meeting a partner!

OP posts:
Rosiestraws · 29/10/2021 14:38

In my personal experience, I never swipe right to a person who has no bio- it makes me think they are either too lazy or they think they are so good looking that they don't need to try to write anything. Both of these are offputting.

I agree with leaving out anything remotely negative also.

What the aversion to being verified!? It's totally simple to do - just do it! I have occasionally matched with someone who wasn't verifed on Bumble, so then my first "message" would be to ask them to get verified :D

I have been wary in the past about swiping right/matching with someone with very different interests than me so maybe keep your list short?

Original poster
bilbodaboncho · 29/10/2021 14:40

I always thought you had the best chance meeting someone if you shared similar interests but in all honesty I don't know anymore what makes a successful relationship or two people compatible. One thing I can't stand is dishonesty and flaky people!

OP posts:
HeyNowHey · 29/10/2021 15:02

'im a flying fairy looking for someone to help me get back to timbuktu'

^ I rather like that Grin! Shows a sense of humour and a sense of the ridiculous. Maybe its a little bit true even.

MephistophelesApprentice · 29/10/2021 15:07

Ignore anyone saying men don't read profiles, I don't swipe or match with anyone who won't put effort in.

Be funny. Be clever. One thing I found was good practice was writing out the profile that I would immediately be attracted to, then wrote my version. I've met some wonderful people so far, even if nobody's been my long term match. It's always worth putting thought into things.

Original poster
bilbodaboncho · 29/10/2021 15:25

@MephistophelesApprentice I'm not very good at describing myself in words tbh! Can't think of anything interesting to say. Probably a sign online dating isn't for me and I should just not bother.

OP posts:
TheFoundations · 29/10/2021 16:05

You don't have to describe yourself though. Don't be so prescriptive about it. Why not describe the person you're looking for? 'If you can tick 4 out the these 5 boxes, drop me a line' kind of thing?

Or think of the best things about you and list them, it doesn't have to be poetic: 'Marathon running, piano playing cake maker, looking for tall, intelligent, knitting pole vaulter', or whatever.

If you've genuinely got nothing interesting to say about yourself, focus on doing some interesting stuff, or you'll have nothing to say on a date either.

Buggritbuggrit · 29/10/2021 16:14

I think that your post (slightly tweaked) would be a really good app bio! If you can get being a flying fairy in there, as well, then even better! Smile

Original poster
bilbodaboncho · 29/10/2021 20:17

Deleted them. Can't be arsed with it and rather be single than using those bastard pile of shitty apps ever again. Fuck the lot them

OP posts:
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