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Original poster

Ceroc dancing

43 replies

carspaul · 28/10/2021 20:03

My wife joined a Ceroc dancing class a couple of weeks ago. I'm not into dancing but don't know what her motive for going is? I know some guys from work went years ago to Ceroc to meet women and I'm thinking are they going to try it on with her.

OP posts:
Onelifeonly · 28/10/2021 23:16

I went to Ceroc for a while years ago with a group of work colleagues. We were mostly all married or attached, but there was quite a lot of excitement from some of the group over dancing with the better looking men. None of us were looking for partners, but it certainly seemed like a good place to meet one had we wanted to, since basically you need an fairly even number of men and women. In fact my bil met his second wife at a (different) ceroc class.

Whether that's what she is up to, who knows? Sounds like you have suspicions, but could easily be she just enjoys dancing, many people do.

Lana07 · 28/10/2021 23:23
Onelifeonly · 28/10/2021 23:27

Should maybe add, my bil and his second wife were already both divorced when they met at ceroc!

jeaux90 · 29/10/2021 00:43

Cheer up man!! Trees don't grow in each other shadows.

You are still both individuals, go do something you want to do too!

AnotherOldGeezer · 29/10/2021 01:09

I was beginning to feel sorry for you OP until you said “if she is going to cheat”. Horrible thing to say

Having said that, I’ve done a bit of dancing (not Ceroc) and I can’t recollect seeing married women going on their own to a dance class other than Zumba, which I would have thought was a better option

And the “Covid” remark does sound bizarre. Why on earth would a couple not be allowed to go together - surely there is less risk?

Tangofandango · 29/10/2021 01:09

I’ve been dancing modern jive/Ceroc for 25 years. My husband has never wanted to go with me, it’s not his thing. That’s fine.

I’ve made so many good friends over the years, male and female. Sometimes a male friend will give me a lift to a dance night, sometimes I’ll pick a male friend up to go to a venue. My husband totally accepts it for what it is - friends going to their hobby and car sharing.

Yes some people go to find a partner, some have no intention of cheating but the potential is there and some give in to it. Personally, I’ve had men, and one or two women, hit on me. I’ve just said sorry I’m happily married and I’m just there to enjoy the dancing.

If your wife is happy in your marriage she will just be enjoying the dancing and friendships. Don’t spoil her hobby because of your insecurities. The saddest thing I’ve seen at a dance night was a married couple where the wife wasn’t allowed to dance with or talk to any other man, and whenever she went to the toilet the husband would go with her and stand outside the toilet waiting for her to make sure she didn’t stop and talk to any men.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/10/2021 01:17

Having said that, I’ve done a bit of dancing (not Ceroc) and I can’t recollect seeing married women going on their own to a dance class other than Zumba, which I would have thought was a better option

I've done salsa as a partnered person. I have two other friends who do other types of dance when married. I'd stick pins in my eyes before I'd do Zumba. Why would it be a better option?

Nanalisa60 · 29/10/2021 01:23

Why don't you just go to the dancing with her, my dh did not really want to go to ceroc that much when we first started, like you not really into dancing but he did it for me as he knows I love dancing, now many years on we don’t go to the classes much anymore, but go to all the social dance nights about once a month and I know he enjoys it. As couple I think it helps a relationship if you both are happy to try something new that one of your real wants to do. When we first meet many years ago my dh loved skiing so I gave it a go, and of course now love it, but it was not a thing I would have done on my own, I did it because he loved it. Same with hill walking . I have but my foot down with heavy rock & prog rock concerts, I’m just not going!! But he has done Robbie Williams and take that with me. I think couples that do stuff together are usually very happy together. Go on go on give it a go what’s the worst that could happen!! By the way there are always loads more women then men at a ceroc class , so it will be you in demand not your wife!!

SoftplayTaintedLove · 29/10/2021 01:30

If I was doing Robbie Williams and Take That I'd not bring my husband Smile

Carolinechanning · 29/10/2021 01:34

The hard thing you have to be able to put aside is the fact anyone can cheat anywhere at anytime. I see/hear/read/have friend and colleagues who don't like their partner to have nights out/weekends away/go out to hobbies/whatever incase they cheat. But I wouldn't trust my husband less on a night out than I do when he's at work. Yeah, he could have a one night stand with a woman he meets in a club but equally, he could have been having an affair with the accountant at his work for the last 4 years. I have no way of knowing. You have to acknowledge it and either put it aside and trust your partner to live their life without your interference until such time as you have some actual evidence of a betrayal of your trust or you stay single. I'd the only reason you distrust her is because she goes to a dance class, I think you need to work on your self-esteem and trust issues. If there are any other reasons you don't trust her you would need to try couples therapy/split up/something else.

Nanalisa60 · 29/10/2021 01:45

SoftplayTaintedLove

We live the the east of Scotland , so if its a big stadium tour we have to travel so make a few days away for it. Also I’m one of those sad women who likes being with her dh and doing stuff together. We have been to loads of stadium tours together and traveled all over the country so make a little holiday out of it. Know what you mean , about ten women to ever man at Robbie, but dh really loves the showmanship of him and take that. Even thow his personal love of music is progressive rock thankfully he has friends he goes with to see that music with.

SoftplayTaintedLove · 29/10/2021 01:50

You misunderstand me, I was being a lot more puerile...

Nanalisa60 · 29/10/2021 01:58

SoftplayTaintedLove

Just realised from your name you must be a Marc Almond fan, we went to rock Scotland a few years ago and he was playing , was my favourite act of the day. And yes I had dh with me great day out about fifteen of us went it was really hot dh said he had never seen so many drunken middle aged women by the end of the day. Would go see Marc again in a heartbeat he was just so good!!

1forAll74 · 29/10/2021 02:07

I might join a Ceroc dance place. it's quite a sexy dance, you need good posture for it, so it's good exercise. I would only like to have a male partner though, so would hope to join a mixed class. I used to do a lot of ballroom, and Latin American dancing years ago, so think I would enjoy this.

Sakurami · 29/10/2021 02:27

You may as well chain her up.

Becasue people meet in gyms, at work, walking dogs, courses, hobbies, through friends.

My ex was just like you distrusted my motives for going places. That's why he's an ex. And no, never cheated. Never wanted to. Never intended to.

Poppins2016 · 29/10/2021 02:53

@1forAll74

I might join a Ceroc dance place. it's quite a sexy dance, you need good posture for it, so it's good exercise. I would only like to have a male partner though, so would hope to join a mixed class. I used to do a lot of ballroom, and Latin American dancing years ago, so think I would enjoy this.
I'm going to add an alternative viewpoint for balance! Of course, 'sexy' is open to interpretation, however I don't think Ceroc is a particularly sexy dance... It's more about having fun. Yes, you can make it sexy, but it takes two consenting dancers with a mutual desire in order to do that... you wouldn't just start forcing that kind of connection (or a closed hold - the default in Ceroc is open facing) on someone.

And just to add a further thought (on the assumption you're female)... have you ever tried dancing with a female partner? It might surprise you... some of my best dances have been with same sex (female) partners. The connection and styling can be fabulous! Equally, my DH sometimes follows and dances with another man, it looks amazing and he enjoys it.
Having said that, classes and events are always mixed gender so no need to worry if it's a true deal breaker... and a ballroom/latin background will give you an advantage, you'd pick it up very quickly!

category12 · 29/10/2021 06:51

@carspaul

Poppins2016 has given the best advice. I should take up my hobbies again. If she is going to cheat she will do it anyway so there is no point worrying about something that may not happen.
It's really unhealthy to give up all your hobbies and expect the relationship to be everything to both of you, and to always go everywhere together. It can be smothering.

Yes, you should both make time for each other, but it's a balance - having time for yourselves, as well time together as a couple.

Sophmoph92 · 17/12/2023 16:27

Dont worry, Id be worrying as well if the shoe was on the other foot. You're not mad or crazy for being a bit concerned.

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