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Relationships

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Original poster

Ceroc dancing

43 replies

carspaul · 28/10/2021 20:03

My wife joined a Ceroc dancing class a couple of weeks ago. I'm not into dancing but don't know what her motive for going is? I know some guys from work went years ago to Ceroc to meet women and I'm thinking are they going to try it on with her.

OP posts:

Pinkbonbon · 28/10/2021 20:07

Its called me hobby.

Why are you so insecure that someone hitting on your wife worries you? Being hit on is not a big deal. All she has to do is say 'thanks, but I'm married'.

Why would you think she has ulterior motives?
Has she cheated before?

Pinkbonbon · 28/10/2021 20:07

*a hobby

Cruiser123 · 28/10/2021 20:08

It must be a pleasure being married to you. Maybe ceroc is her escape from you.

MaizeBlouse · 28/10/2021 20:09

Jeez, cos she wants to? She likes to dance? Enjoys that style of music? Wants to make more friends? Would like a new hobby? Time away from home? A bit of exercise?

The real question is why are you so insecure? Why don't you trust your wife?

Original poster

carspaul · 28/10/2021 20:10

I asked her this week if I could come along and she said no because of covid restrictions. I have no idea what she meant by that.

OP posts:

RandomMess · 28/10/2021 20:13

She may have a fixed partner to pair up with each week.

Pinkbonbon · 28/10/2021 20:14

@carspaul

I asked her this week if I could come along and she said no because of covid restrictions. I have no idea what she meant by that.

Let me take a stab at that one, I think she might have meant 'no, because of covid restrictions' lol.

Either that or she was trying to be nice and not say 'no, because you're smothering the crap out of me and I'd like to have one hobby, one day per week to myself without you following me because you don't trust me not to shag other men during the ten minute interval'.

Viviennemary · 28/10/2021 20:17

If she is on the look out for somebody its a good place to start.

spongedog · 28/10/2021 20:17

You sound crackers. It is a dance class. All women dance with all men and the lovely Taxi dancers (male or female). It is great fun and good exercise. I dont get the chance to speak to anyone = it really is dance all night with very loud music.

MerryChristmasToYou · 28/10/2021 20:41

Dance classes tend to be more popular with women than men.
Some men attend with their partner/wife.

Some people may be looking to meet someone else, some won't.
Most go because they find it an enjoyable way of doing exercise.

Original poster

carspaul · 28/10/2021 20:42

Unbelievable replies. I bet most women on here would hate their husbands going dancing without them.

OP posts:

MerryChristmasToYou · 28/10/2021 20:46

Why don't you take up a hobby?
Cake decorating or sewing would be good for acquiring new skills, and you would meet new people.

TalesOfDrunkennessAndCruelty · 28/10/2021 20:49

You said in the first line of your first post that you're not into dancing. Maybe your wife is concerned that you'll turn up and then huff and puff about not enjoying dancing, and spoil her enjoyment of the class?

Pinkbonbon · 28/10/2021 20:51

Not really something husbands tend to do on their own...dance classes. But I wouldn't begrudge a partner a night out with his mates to a pub (and surely there's more chance of innapropriate happenings going down there, because of everyone being steaming). So I can't see why I have a problem with a dance class. Bit then, I trust my partners. That's why they are my partners.

The point is op, for whatever reason, you don't trust your own wife. So surely the writing for this relationship is on the wall.

category12 · 28/10/2021 20:57

Either you trust her or you don't.

If you don't, then stop wasting your time and mental energy in an unhealthy relationship.

If you do, then find something to do in your evening alone.

Somuddled · 28/10/2021 21:02

Why do you want to go to a dance class when you state that you aren't into dancing?

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/10/2021 21:07

@carspaul

I asked her this week if I could come along and she said no because of covid restrictions. I have no idea what she meant by that.

You're not into dancing. So your motivation to go is...

Have a think about control and trust a bit.

DH has hobbies. Not dancing but martial arts and he's touching women there. I wouldn't tag along like a weird stalker.

TeeTotaller1 · 28/10/2021 21:10

Shock horror maybe she wants to do something for herself
Maybe she spends enough time with you and wants a bit of a breather
Are you always this suspicious ?

Sparklfairy · 28/10/2021 21:11

@carspaul

I asked her this week if I could come along and she said no because of covid restrictions. I have no idea what she meant by that.

My bet is that she knows you'll be squaring up to every bloke there and giving her a hard time afterwards. I wouldn't want you to come either.

Why are you so possessive?

Just FYI, when men assume that other men will hit on their partners, it's because they themselves hit on other women.

TeeTotaller1 · 28/10/2021 21:11

I'd have no problem with my H going to a dance class, or any other class for that matter

Poppins2016 · 28/10/2021 21:19

@carspaul

I asked her this week if I could come along and she said no because of covid restrictions. I have no idea what she meant by that.

Many Ceroc classes are pre booked at the moment in order to gender balance (i.e. ensure an equal number of leads to follows) or fixed partner (although this is being phased out as covid restrictions are relaxing - the first scenario is more likely).

In terms of why someone would go to Ceroc, it's the same as with any other club or hobby. Some people want to have fun, some people want to make friends, some would like to meet a potential partner. With Ceroc, in my experience, venues tend to form their own large friendship groups. You regularly switch partners during the classes and dance with many people/friends over the course of an evening. My DH and I both dance, but I'm completely comfortable with him going to an event without me and vice versa. We also know many people in serious relationships who go on their own for various (innocent) reasons.

I think previous posters are correct... you need to have a think about why you don't feel able to trust your wife and address your insecurities.

Additional food for thought... why did you ask to come along? You mentioned that you're not into dancing... there's no point going if you're not going to enjoy it. It would also be unfair to stop your wife doing something she enjoys just because you don't want to do it (or because you're jealous/don't trust her). It's healthy to have individual hobbies, try to embrace it!

oviraptor21 · 28/10/2021 22:22

@carspaul

Unbelievable replies. I bet most women on here would hate their husbands going dancing without them.

No. My husband is free to have whatever hobbies he likes. Shock horror ... he partners up with a woman every week. The same one often. Am I worried? No ... because I trust him.

Opentooffers · 28/10/2021 22:52

You are insecure, but then, you are not into dancing. Are you interested in anything else your wife does? Maybe it's showing up how different you are and not that much in common. I used to go with an ex BF to modern jive, he'd done it a while, we danced quite well together as knew each other well - he knew the moves, could do them, but had no musicality, I had less knowledge but styled it out as I live for music. I loved it, must try again sometime, and yes, you could tell if someone you danced with fancied you, and some you gelled with, some you didn't. But I sat and watched while he danced with others, and he did too at times - I was more bothered when I didn't get as many dances being a novice as he did, so sat on sidelines bored. I remember a great night I had being in the zone though - amazing, but was a dance zone, not a sexual one.

Original poster

carspaul · 28/10/2021 22:53

Poppins2016 has given the best advice. I should take up my hobbies again. If she is going to cheat she will do it anyway so there is no point worrying about something that may not happen.

OP posts:

Lana07 · 28/10/2021 23:09

I had to look it up

I'd go myself too.

I'd love my DH to go with me. I'd never say no to him. It's a great bonding hobby to do together.

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