We've been married 5 years, together 8. We have a 3yo and a baby on the way, I am 38 weeks pregnant and it has been a difficult pregnancy, baby has a heart defect, we've had a lot of stress with money and my health (mental and otherwise) has been rock bottom, now I am also suffering from PGP.
We've had two major rows since I got pregnant. One when I was 13 weeks where he actually pushed me. I walked out and when I came back he was apologetic and we talked things over. When I was 28 weeks I found out he'd been spying on my emails and my forum accounts while I was at work. I made him leave and go and stay at his parents house. He ended up coming back because I had a bleed and we had to go to hospital to check baby was ok - thankfully he was. We walked a lot and I agreed to forgive him, but this was his last chance. We've today had another blazing row, I'm 38 weeks tomorrow and I am just so tired and stressed.
Our arguments are always over the same two things: division of labour / resentment (my issue with him) and lack of affection / sex (his issue with me)
I just feel like I do everything - I am the sole driver so I do all the nursery pick ups/drop offs, I do all the food shops, all the appointments, haircuts and birthday parties, all the holiday driving and I also take DH to and from work a couple of times a week. I do all the household chores, all the major cleaning and cooking (DH does 1 day a week) I do all the bills, shopping and childcare organisation. I also do the majority of the dog walks (5/7) and do all the garden maintenance and DIY too.
DH works 4 days a week, he does the dishwasher every night I cook and he does the bins/recycling. That is the extent of his responsibilities apart from playing with DS and sharing bedtime routine 50/50.
He complains that I don't show enough affection and I probably don't - because I am holding so much resentment. But I have really tried to step up after letting things go cold and now I make sure we are intimate at least once a week (considering I am heavily pregnant I don't think this is too bad!) We spend a lot of time together and we do have a very "friendly" relationship so its not all cold and horrible, we laugh a lot. If I go to the shop I always buy him a chocolate treat, or a beer he likes. I think of him constantly, I like to feel this is my way of showing affection.
In may of this year he promised me he would start to look at driving lessons. It took him until August to order a provisional licence. Since then, nothing. He hasn't even enquired about lessons.
We keep having these blazing rows and he gets annoyed about me never being happy but I don't think I am asking for too much, am I? I want to be looked after, thought of with the same level of care that I think about him.
I just don't know what to do. I am in a state and crying and honestly regretting my decision to have another baby - which I feel terrible about because he's due very soon. I don't know what to do going forward or what will be best for our family. My heart is just broken and I am so so tired.
Any advice very much welcome.