Bit of advice, newish OLD relationship, ED.

[ArseulaUndressed]

Hello, new to this site and not sure who to talk to in real life as no one I know has done any online dating and not massively comfortable talking about sex with my friends anyway.

Met a guy a couple of months ago who I share loads of common interests with and among other things in his profile said he was a hopeless romantic, seeks similar type thing which is my bag totally.
First date was lovely and indeed romantic (nice walk and he’d brought along a surprise picnic) second date another walk and he’d brought flowers.
In between we are getting on really well, lots of nice texts and calls.
Third date we went for dinner (he’d asked to “take me out for dinner”) and when the bill came said, are you ok to go halfs? I wasn’t expecting that but fine with it although it did jar a little if I’m honest.
4th date we dtd… kind of. He experienced ED. Said it was a common thing, apologies and went to sleep. Two months later we’ve attempted to dtd a few times but not quite managed, however each time he laughs and says the “little guy” isn’t up to it. And goes to sleep. On one occasion he suggested I try to orally satisfy him (I did but I felt v weird about this) but not once tried to satisfy me despite having to abandon me midway each time when he loses his erection.
He recently suggested we break off as he feels I’m not trying hard enough to help him with his ED and that I should try more to get him hard again.
I feel like we’ve gone from nice dates to me trying to please him in bed being our main focus 🤔 and his needs being placed first.

Sorry for tmi… any thoughts?

OP you definitely weren't being selfish.

50/50 guys usually are cheap and selfish and it never changes.

Bless him and his dysfunctional dick.

Maybe you could book him to see his Gp about his ED? 🤣🤣🤣 what a twat

@FlatteredFool he backtracked and suggested we meet to talk things through.
I declined 🙄
Today was a weird day. Feel relieved in some ways (lots of other things he did that were a bit potentially manipulative) but not over the moon about going back to OLD.

Definitely the right decision to walk though 😁

Thanks all for the advice, straight talking and humour. 😂 needed that

[quote ArseulaUndressed]@FlatteredFool he backtracked and suggested we meet to talk things through.
I declined 🙄
Today was a weird day. Feel relieved in some ways (lots of other things he did that were a bit potentially manipulative) but not over the moon about going back to OLD.

Definitely the right decision to walk though 😁

Thanks all for the advice, straight talking and humour. 😂 needed that[/quote]
Honestly @ArseulaUndressed it can't get much worse!
As least you've learnt a lesson, this thread has been a bit of an eye-opener to me. I'd dated/ended up with 3 different guys that Ive meet through OLD - one had ED (or similar, I didn't hang around to find out all the gory details!) but the other 2 were ace in bed, really considerate, well-hung and hard!
So you've just been unlucky, plenty more fish in the sea!

No, bin him OP. My DP had it a bit when we met -- in hindsight, it was largely nerves, I think. BUT he always made sure to pleasure me, was absolutely mortified about it, went to the doctors about it and was up front about it being HIS issue, which i was therefore very happy to support with. After a few months it resolved itself when he got used to me and closer to me. Your DP sounds like he's blaming you, and making a joke out of it, and he just sounds really immature and selfish as a lover as well. None of which are good signs about a partner.

Missed update! Good call OP!

I’m cringing as he did laugh about it when it happened. “He’s not up to it” etc.
Some of the phrases he used I can’t even bring myself to type.

He also was not well hung at all. Not sure if he just wasn’t ever fully hard but that was also a difficult one for me.

I just thought that would be a bit shallow to finish over but the other things quickly replaced that.
Ugh. Lesson learned.

BTW For anyone else reading.
He did try to persuade me to have unprotected sex to help address the ED.
I didn’t, but yet another thing to look out for 🚩

Haha too funny OP. Well rid.

Well, you've made a good riddance of this (soft) dick !
Just came here to share some wisdom I once read in a biography of Keith Richard. When they were young and had many groupies where ever they went, he sometimes got a bout of ED. In the book it said they used to put toothpaste on their parts and that the menthol (or so) in it had a good effect.
I tried this trick a few times when I was younger and it did work - or maybe it was my exceptional skill and prowess - who knows!
Anyway, good for you for not putting up with this kind of entitlement.

You're well rid of him. What a selfish, entitled twat, laying his floppy cock on you - so to speak. If he wanted help, you should give him a lolly pop stick and rubber band. Tell him it's your gift to him for his crisps and flat pop.

Get back OLD, and just have fun

He's absolutely right.

You should break it off.

Just not for the reason he said but because he's a selfish unerect dick

What an absolute creep
Well shot of him!!

I had to chuckle at him trying to back pedal now you have agreed to split 😂
Was he so full of himself, he imaginedyou would be frantically researching how to become a better lover to 'the catch of the century' and then be 'just like his Ex and really go for it' ?
( she went so far, looks like she ran far away and never came back 😎 )

He recently suggested we break off as he feels I’m not trying hard enough to help him with his ED and that I should try more to get him hard again.

I was already going to say end it as a shit sex life will come back to haunt you but after that comment I'd be 100% telling him to fuck off. It's not for you to sort him out. Twat.