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Original poster

“I like the way you carry yourself”

43 replies

allakaaaazam · 19/10/2021 14:07

I’m just wondering how you would interpret this comment from a new boyfriend? Only been dating 4 months, but known him for over a year, used to work together:

“I like the way you carry yourself in any kind of situation... I haven’t fallen for someone like this before”

The first bit.... what does it mean? Confidence?

This is the first time he’s ever really paid me a compliment (the last bit) and he’s not an overly gushy person. It was unexpected to be honest.

My friends have different opinions of what it means... some negative actually

OP posts:
Onestep2021 · 19/10/2021 14:10

How could it be negative?!
I’d take it to mean that they like way I am in different situations but more social/
People-related ones.

NCKM · 19/10/2021 14:10

He likes your confidence and poise and the way you come across to others. Maybe graceful.

samesign · 19/10/2021 14:12

I'd see it as positive, maybe you are cool and calm even in stressful situations? Confident around people.
Why were your friends seeing it as negative?

Justcallmebebes · 19/10/2021 14:13

I would take that as a confidence thing rather than your physical carriage or bearing 🤣

Personally I would think compliment

Bouledeneige · 19/10/2021 14:15

Its a compliment. I wouldn't be spending time to over-think it and workshop it with friends/the internet.....

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 19/10/2021 14:17

I would take it as a positive thing. It's a bit sad that you've been dating for 4 months and it's the first time he's paid you a compliment, though!

Palavah · 19/10/2021 14:17

I would take it and have taken it as a compliment.

What was the negative interpretation?

GroggyLegs · 19/10/2021 14:21

Why does it matter how your friends interpret it? Didn't it feel good at the time? Did you feel you couldn't question what they meant?

I'd interpret it to mean confidence or staying calm under pressure - it's way more flattering IMO than complementing your looks.

If it feels good, enjoy it.

fluffiphlox · 19/10/2021 14:24

How can it be negative? He’s being complimentary about your physical and interpersonal confidence, savoir-faire and general demeanour.

Comvit · 19/10/2021 14:29

I would think he means:

"You carry yourself with noticeable confidence and gravitas in any given situation which I think makes you look commanding and sexy as hell. I have never fallen for a woman with as much confidence as you before because all of my previous partners subscribed unquestioningly to outmoded sex-roles in which women should be meek, quiet, self-deprecating and let a man take charge "

I think it's positive though I really really dislike men suggesting that their newest girlfriend is exceptional in some way from his other partners. Not, to me, a million miles from "all my exes were crazy" vibes. Sorry, OP Grin

darklindor · 19/10/2021 14:32

It means that he thinks you're capable and confident, surely.

daisyducky · 19/10/2021 14:34

Absolute positive. It's your manner he is talking about. He's proud of you!

Pinkbonbon · 19/10/2021 14:35

Why did he add on the 'your not normally my type' qualifier at the end though?

It could be a complement. Or it could be negging. Which one would depend largely on his personality.

I'd not like to be 4 months in with a guy and no compliments whatsoever. I'd have binned someone by date three if there were no complements as I would assume him to be cold and disrespectful.

But did it FEEL like a complement op?
That should tell you all you need to know.

TheAverageUser · 19/10/2021 14:37

It means the way you conduct yourself is impressive to him so probably confident, in control and calm but could mean something else to him. Either way it's a compliment.

Original poster
allakaaaazam · 19/10/2021 14:37

@pinkbonbon

He said “I’ve not fallen for anyone like this before” I don’t think he meant LIKE you, just generally if that makes sense

The compliments thing yeah, I suppose I’m not that expressive and don’t really feel like it was a problem

My friend said it’s undermining and makes out he says I’m overconfident

OP posts:
MakingTheBestOfIt · 19/10/2021 14:39

I think that’s an amazing compliment, much better than the usual ‘I like your hair/you have a sexy body/etc”. It suggests there is something that he finds deeply attractive in the way you act and your core ‘self’.

I can’t see how it could be taken negatively? Unless you were asking his opinion on an outfit or something and he was purposefully being evasive?

Erinrose82 · 19/10/2021 14:40

What a lovely compliment! Old fashioned but beautifully put.. your grace and confidence and he maybe meant he's really falling for you and not felt like this before: I think he sounds like a man that really knows you x

Comvit · 19/10/2021 14:40

[quote allakaaaazam]@pinkbonbon

He said “I’ve not fallen for anyone like this before” I don’t think he meant LIKE you, just generally if that makes sense

The compliments thing yeah, I suppose I’m not that expressive and don’t really feel like it was a problem

My friend said it’s undermining and makes out he says I’m overconfident[/quote]
You're not 'over confident' if you're having to come on to an internet forum to ask for interpretations of a new partner's comments/compliments.

What your friend said was bitchy.

Buggritbuggrit · 19/10/2021 14:43

[quote allakaaaazam]@pinkbonbon

He said “I’ve not fallen for anyone like this before” I don’t think he meant LIKE you, just generally if that makes sense

The compliments thing yeah, I suppose I’m not that expressive and don’t really feel like it was a problem

My friend said it’s undermining and makes out he says I’m overconfident[/quote]
Your friend sounds unhinged.

IntermittentParps · 19/10/2021 14:44

Yes, I think it means he feels you behave with confidence/poise and he likes you for it.
Your friend may have a chip on their shoulder or be predisposed not to like him.

Fireworksfly · 19/10/2021 15:06

Someone said this to me also - I interpret it as a compliment - 'to carry yourself well; means you are graceful/elegant - good Etiquette and manners, well spoken. well dressed - its a whole rounded way of saying you present yourself well

1forAll74 · 19/10/2021 15:08

It's a nice, and complimentary thing to say, from someone who has an intelligent way of speaking. It is a bit of an old fashioned phrase, which are always the best !!

TheYearOfSmallThings · 19/10/2021 15:08

He likes the cut of your jib.

ChargingBuck · 19/10/2021 15:32

[quote allakaaaazam]@pinkbonbon

He said “I’ve not fallen for anyone like this before” I don’t think he meant LIKE you, just generally if that makes sense

The compliments thing yeah, I suppose I’m not that expressive and don’t really feel like it was a problem

My friend said it’s undermining and makes out he says I’m overconfident[/quote]
Hmmm. Are you sure it's not your 'friend' who is doing the undermining here?

Suppose b/f had paid you a more conventional, looks-based compliment? Something like "I like the way you've done your hair" ...

Would your 'friend' jump on that too, & tell you that what b/f actually meant was you are overconfident in your hairstyling ability, & he is looking to undermine you?

It's a great compliment btw. Be wary of what you tell 'friend' going forward. Maybe she doesn't like you being confident ...

GreyCarpet · 19/10/2021 15:33

It's a lovely compliment.

Over the past few weeks, a male friend has told me he thinks I'm funny, a good conversationalist, compassionate, handle myself well and that I'm pretty.

I can tell you which was the least important of all of them!

A compliment about you as a person and not what you look like is always more valuable.

I think your friends must have had to try pretty hard to spin that into a negative!