Hi all,
About 3 months ago I split with my DP of 4 years, he was the one to finally end it though I had tried to multiple times before and the decision was mutual.
On the whole we had a good relationship while it lasted, the last 6 months to a year we both became very complacent, not putting in much effort and I just felt very underappreciated by him. This was also not helped my covid (like many relationships I'm sure). I tried talking through these issues but he became defensive and I think he sensed a break up was looming and our relationship just fell apart.
When we first broke up I was quite relieved tbh, I know he took it hard at first and wanted to get back together soon after, but I stood firm and said we needed space from one another and it wasn't going to happen. I started chatting to someone casually about a month ago and we have seen each other a few times but it's fizzled out as I can't really be bothered for it.
My ex DP and I had no contact for the last few months until I decided to reach out about a week ago and see how he was doing. We didn't end things on the best note and I suppose this was my attempt at at least restoring some sort of civil understanding between us.
Since then I cannot get him out of my head, I realise that I miss him so much and I do actually still love him. Since we have split he has got a new job, has started doing more with friends and family and he's basically transformed into the man I always wanted him to be when we were together that he had certainly lost in the later stages. I realise things will take time but is it a mistake to take things slow and see if something can be restored? He has expressed he feels the same as me but I'm just hesitant as I don't want to bring up old wounds and hurt each other all over again.
Has anyone had an experience of things working out with an ex or is this just asking for pain and better to be left alone?